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WhiteCat2

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  1. I honestly don't know where to begin. I guess I should start by giving some background info on my relationship with my boyfriend. I have been dating him since I was 16 and am now 25. We were planning on getting married in a year but am having second thoughts and believe now that I don't want to go through with it. I would say that I have always kind of known that we were not always the most compatible but I always figured if we could respect each other's differences that we could move pass them. One of the biggest being our spiritual beliefs (he is an atheist and I am a Catholic). We also have very different lifestyles when it comes to being responsible with household tasks and financial affairs. I've always tried to be accepting and tolerant to who he is. So something that I am really struggling with is his relationship with drugs and alcohol. He smokes weed on the daily which doesn't bother me as much as his drinking. He drinks pretty much daily but usually not to excess. But then there are some days where he gets very drunk and doesn't remember much of how he acts. He gets very loud and belligerent where he can be very disrespectful to me and everyone in the house. Overall when he is not drunk he is nice to me but in general has no regard for others which bothers me because I believe everyone should have basic compassion and respect for one another. I guess mainly my problem amongst many others is his drinking. I believe that he has a dependeny issue with drugs and alcohol. I have talked to him about it on many occasions usually following a bad night of him drinking. He always says that he will decrease his drinking and whatever and does for a bit but then goes back to old habits. He does think that he has a little bit of a problem but doesn't really do anything to fix it. I just don't know how much more of his baggage I can take. Ok so I guess where my thought process goes is everyone says that marriage is hard and requires work. That your not always going to like each other and you need to tough it out through the hard times. On the other side though I've heard people say that if your not happy then you need to leave the relationship. I feel like the two sayings go against each other and don't know what to do whether I should stay and try to help my boyfriend through this hard struggle in his life or if i need to look out for myself and leave? My boyfriend and I have been through so much over these 9 years that would have broken many couples but we managed to get through it. Can't say it has made us stronger, maybe weathered would be a better word. Regardless we have a lot of history together. Sorry the post was so long, I have so much to say and don't know how to summarize all of it. I would just love to hear someone else's unbiased perceptive of my situation.
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