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About memyselfnpie

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  1. Yup, yup. Got back into exercise. I did write a letter! And it helped, it really did.
  2. Yeah, I'm in therapy. And I told her about this situation, but you know it's not a life coach so I came on here for that hahaha for a while, I acted like the way we ended things didn't phase me, but it does. And my therapist said that I need to lean in to the sadness because I'm still in this angry phase. It's just hard when there's really no closure. Blah
  3. There's no argument with this here. But I have this feeling where it's like, You think you hurt me by blowing me off? Well, no because I didn't want you anyway, but low-key I did lol it's a defense mechanism of sorts. And at the first sign of trouble, I just close myself off because it's like, I don't want to go down that path again. And this frustration also stems from still being entangled in an ex (it's a situation with a lot of layers that I'll spare). I just so badly want to move on to be able to forget her. And it's like, why is the universe like "nope. All paths just lead to you thinkin
  4. You know, you're right. I'm so hostile and abrasive because deep down I don't want to connect with people because people have hurt me. Every since I was young, people have abused me and my trust/innocence. So yeah, maybe I act this way because I don't want to and I don't like being hurt/vulnerable. My god. You should be my therapist! I'm done conversing with you and I'm not going to attempt to provide "the full picture" on here because quite frankly I don't owe you that.
  5. Well, right. My friend had said those are just the quirks of dating, which is why I was feeling (four days after the fact), should I reach back out? Cause I had acknowledged that I had been abrasive.
  6. It's just nice to branch out and meet new people with new views and thoughts and have experiences with them. I guess I was wrong to assume people on apps were as open to that haha
  7. I understand that things happen and no one owes me their time, and there's more baggage to my feelings about this than I'm willing to put on this app (that's for my therapist and I), but I was just simply looking for some back up on here — not a whole dragging. Thanks for making me feel good — not
  8. First of all, to come at me like this when you don't even know my story and my traumas is a bit ABRASIVE. I was just looking for some back up here. I sometimes struggle with being intimate with people and don't want to come across as "not taking a hint" and that's why I reached out on here. Because I do understand that sometimes I miss some social cues from people and don't communicate well. Also, don't try to assume my gender — I'm a girl. It's she/her/her
  9. Yes, I deleted the two apps I was on. And I'm just gonna chill and just appreciate my time with friends and family. I already was hesitant getting back into apps because I despised the inauthenticity/overall flakiness, but this year I was struggling to find people out in the real world (or Instagram lol) so I went back. And I redownloaded them and was blown off back to back. So blah
  10. Hahaha! Yeah, throwing it in! I've had people cancel before and actually make an effort to reschedule and we did meet up, and that's why I just trusted my gut on this (that she was blowing me off), but I'm glad to have some outside opinions. Because my friends, like me, can be cold sometimes and are like " her."
  11. We exchanged a few messages before I asked her out. And then I maybe texted her once after that. And then the "looking forward" text. Because I hate texting a bunch before we actually meet. Let's save the convos for in-person. That's my motto.
  12. Yeah, yeah. I know it's a better look, but I just can't with people with this horrible blow offs. It's like, how dumb do you think I am? It gets down-right insulting to a point.
  13. Dating is the worst. So many flakes that it's hard to pick out when people are being honest so I need some impartial views. Here's the situation. Had a date Thursday. I texted her the day before (Wednesday) letting her know I was looking forward to meeting up. She responds 3 hours later saying "Hey I'm so sorry I'm just getting back to you. My roommate went to the doctor Friday and found out she has the flu. I started feeling ty yesterday afternoon and it hasn't gotten better so I probably should take it easy tomorrow because I've been working the last 8 days. I'm really really sorry." I wa
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