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Janetlane

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  1. About a year ago, I met this awesome guy in a video game chatroom. I know, but we were just friends. We had instant chemistry and about 3 months in we were planning to meet. Well, he got into drugs and said his life wasn't going very well. He shut me out and refused to talk to me as a friend, but I felt I had to be there for him. He would vent to me, refuse advice and such for the next 5 months. He admitted to wanting to be more with me before he took drugs and alcohol but it wasn't the time anymore cause he's ruining his life. We stopped talking at all and I guess he had a one night stand with a girl at a party that he didn't know, but just knew her name from mutual friends. He told me this recently, about two months ago because she had claimed he got her pregnant. I was skeptical but she was convinced it was his. He told her he didn't want anything to do with the baby if she decided to have it and he felt bad but isn't in shape to be a Father. I was a bit hurt- still am- because I tried to be there for him and he pushed me away so hard and he said he wasn't thinking and he never liked her more than just to use. I know it's terrible but that's just how it is. Well, now we're trying to be a couple that he is trying to be sober now and doesn't want to lose me again. But, a few days ago that girl came around telling him that she had an abortion and he was relieved. I guess I was too but she was devastated. I asked him if he led her on more than what he's saying for her to act that way and he said no. My problem is I'm very insecure about the whole thing. Even if he's glad to be done with her, she kinda still is a part of this chapter in his life. I have yet to meet him but maybe some of you may be familiar with the emotional ties the internet can sustain. I guess the reason I'm jealous is we haven't been close like that, and she was with him when I'd been wanting to be, although he was on drugs and not a good person to be around. We did discuss this just last night and I felt better but the feelings linger. He's different when he's sober. Anyway, how can I get over this feeling of betrayal when he really didn't betray me because we were no titles but it's still playing a part in our relationship on my end? We're supposed to meet in a few months and get more serious if everything goes well. He already told me he feels he loves me and he doesn't just say that to anyone. I should add that I had a boyfriend for a month when he pushed me away and he knows of it, so it's not like I'm innocent either. I just can't get my mind over the whole situation. I'm usually a raging jealous psycho but I'm trying to be understanding, patient and open minded.
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