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About Geminifeed

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  1. I do have a few friends and honestly I don't know where I'd be if they hadn't been there for me over the phone during everything. I do like photography and drawing but I don't really have too many of my own individual hobbies otherwise. I am planning on joining the gym and taking classes of some sort. I'm trying to look at this as a detour and remind myself that it doesn't have to be a permanent situation if I don't like it.
  2. It definitely opened my eyes a little more to how bad the situation is when I read this. I think I know deep down that a relationship with him could never work especially after everything he did and still chooses to do after almost a year. I think I keep hanging on so tightly because I feel like he still loves me because of his actions and I just keep thinking of all the memories and the things I did wrong and how I could have prevented this whole thing. All of my feelings are tied in to him because I've never had anyone else. I'm hoping that by removing him from social media and starting ther
  3. I am definitely going to start therapy in FL because I know otherwise I won't be able to move on from any of this. The relationship was definitely unstable on and off. We lived in his parents house in his room for 12 years. He was my whole world we spent 24/7 together even having the same days off work. We had no other friends and if we did anything other than spending time together, we only spent time with his family. We did everything for each other so I think I became very dependent on him because he always tried to help fix me and was sometimes controlling. I did look up to him and was alw
  4. You're 100% right. I've been sitting in it since January and unfortunately not moving forward in life because I've been in a very deep depression. I have a lot of guilt from my part in the relationship failing along with dealing with everything my ex did to me during the breakup. I stalled on moving to FL since March because I was scared to be alone and be in a new area, but I'm alone where I am now in an area I haven't lived in for 12 years anyway with family that I don't get along with. I know the social media stuff is hurting me but I guess I'm scared to cut that cord and have him think I'm
  5. It's just because when I post things he can see where I am or who I'm with because he knows where my family/friends are and who they are. He doesn't have any special access or anything, he just looks at anything I post immediately.
  6. Well it's my fault he was trying to fix me. I had depression sometimes and I wasn't as positive and easy going as him. He said he didn't actually leave me for her but because I wouldn't go to therapy and a bunch of other things he wanted me to do. I just don't know if I believe it 100% because he worked with the girl for over a year and knew she had a crush on him and they "hated each other" and fought all the time at work.
  7. I haven't actually talked to him about moving recently. He told me not to do it and that I wouldn't like it before I moved in March and the last time I talked to him (I messaged him on his birthday in September because I'm stupid) he asked if I moved there yet, which he clearly knew I didn't because he watches everything I post and can see where I am and who I'm with. I think it's also in my head that I seek his approval because he always was trying to fix me and knew what was best for me.
  8. No good reasons. Mostly because unfortunately I still love him and I feel bad deleting him because he wants to "stay friends and in each other's lives". I stopped using Facebook because of his passive aggressive posts towards me and because of him commenting on my posts since I don't want to engage, but I also feel bad ignoring him. I did unfollow him on Instagram I just see his stories if they come up on a preview.
  9. I definitely notice it being very hard at this time of year since it's my first year alone. Unfortunately the few friends I have are back in the state where I used to live but I'm going to be around family in a different area with no memories so hopefully that will help a little bit. Thank you!
  10. I moved away from him 8 months ago, but nothing has been working so I'm hoping going somewhere completely new will help. I hope to have that happen for me one day soon. Thank you!
  11. I have family in Florida that are willing to help me get back on my feet. I left the state where I lived with my fiance (I only moved there to be with him) and moved 4 hours away back to my home state which is where I am now. I was originally supposed to go straight to Florida but I felt I was not emotionally stable enough so I just stalled out and stayed here.
  12. Thank you that gives me some hope! Anything you'd like to share I'd be happy to hear! Also you're right, I know I shouldn't worry about what he says because it just makes me think he cares and gives me false hope.
  13. We got engaged about 4 years ago. We started fighting in August of last year and things just went downhill from there until he eventually left for good in January and immediately jumped into a relationship with his 20 year old coworker (he's 33 and I'm 32)It's hard for me to get over everything because it was a very bad break up and I still love him and we've been together since we were 18. He also still posts about me on social media which confuses me further.
  14. My fiance and I were together for 14 years and broke up in January and I'm still not over it, so I'm moving 1000 miles away to Florida to "start a new life" and work and go to college and everything. In the back of my mind I feel like if I go so far away it will mean that there is no possibility of my ex ever coming back in the future, even though he's been dating his coworker since he left. He also told me not to go because I'd hate it and that's playing over and over in my mind. I'm having a really hard time with the anxiety of moving forward and starting over especially so far away. Any adv
  15. Thanks everybody. I'm doing better but it's hard when you still love/miss someone and are also dealing with the guilt from the relationship ending.
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