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Crethrawr

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  1. My husband had a breakdown after developing depression back in October 2018. It took its toll on our marriage, we were arguing more and one day he just crumbled. Since then, whilst myself and his family have been running around sorting out appointments with mental health professionals and different doctors etc., he has been living with this woman who at the time, played the 'supportive friend'. Over the course of 4 months, it has come to light that this friend is actually an incredibly toxic person. She has been a factor in my husband losing his job. He nearly moved back home before Christmas, when asked what was stopping him, he responded "I ran it by her" - apparently she had done everything she could to prevent him from coming back. On NYE, she lost her temper with him, made him delete me on all forms of social media and hit him when he broke down. When his parents found out about this, they decided he needed to be away from this girl and with his family and went to the extent of removing her from his contacts. Unfortunately, this didn't last and he ended up back there - she now uses this incident as a weapon against his family by saying it was basically "kidnap" and that they are mentally manipulative and trying to control him - also says the same things about his friends. All we really want is for him to come back home and work on getting himself better again. Her and her mother also called the police on myself and my husband's mum when we came to get him (this was following a phone conversation where he was sobbing and wandering around the neighbourhood). The police that came clearly felt uneasy with leaving him there - they spent over an hour talking to him but he inevitably went back (escorted by the police) - when they returned to us (husband's friends and family) they seemed genuinely sad and apologetic that they couldn't do more. We are currently attending marriage counselling once a week and she has no idea. My husband admitted to me today that he is incredibly scared of me leaving him and is petrified of losing absolutely everything. But he is terrified of letting her know we speak. He's also admitted that he's turned off all notification settings on his phone as he is scared of her reaction if he receives a message - apparently she would give him the third degree and would demand who it was and what was going on. Unfortunately, despite all of this, my partner also values their friendship. It's almost like he can't see it clearly for what it is - he sees things that are happening as "red flags" when they seem a hell of a lot worse than that! It is incredibly heartbreaking to watch someone you love so dearly in a situation where they feel so stuck. It's like he has been brainwashed. TLDR: My husband isn't very well and has been staying with woman who started off as a friend. This girl has planted it in his head that everyone is against him and the only person he needs is her. She has stopped him from coming home and has lost her temper on numerous occasions because she has found out we (my husband and I) were in communication. She has hit him before also. It has reached the point where he won't have message notifications to his phone because he's scared of her reaction. He's told me he's terrified of me leaving him and losing everything. Unfortunately, he is also scared of losing this person's friendship. It's a very confusing situation and he feels incredibly trapped. So my question is: If you were in my/my husband's situation. What would you do? Also, honest opinions about the situation would be more than appreciated. He has been after some honest outside opinions of the situation.
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