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Everything posted by Unknown404

  1. I don't think wanting more intimacy with your partner makes you a bad person. Everyone's wants and needs are different. Yours is that you need more sex and its completely normal. If both of you still want to work things out and have talked about it thoroughly, maybe it help help to go see a couples counseling or therapist, maybe even doctor to see what could be done to improve her sex drive.
  2. I agree. I believe it's why i felt that way also, not because of the pda. I guess I wanted to feel secure with him and didn't get that from him and he doesn't know how to give me that.
  3. Its not just about the PDA. He does show pda in public when we are around a lot of people.
  4. He does do pda in public and didn't mind it. I often do adjust to him most times more than he does.
  5. You are right. Maybe to me growing up, my experience is that couples around me would call each other by nicknames like babe, baby, or sweetie so I started seeing that as a loving way to show someone they love you. He is emotionally unavailable so I feel it is part of how I feel about it.
  6. A little background about him is that his parents divorces when he was really young because his father was abusive so his mother left, leaving his father to take care of him and his sister. Even then he would still abuse them. I guess it has a lot to do with how he is now. As for me, I have anxiety so it makes things worse when I'm not sure or know what he wants.
  7. Sometimes I do feel like he's not 100% in it as I am. I know it haz nothing to do with his friend's relationship because it is about him and I. He does try to make effort like when his friends want to hang out, he asks me to come along with him. I do have some friends I hang out with but its not often because they're all busy most of the time. And we live in the US.
  8. Thank you for your input. I'm not saying that we need to make out or do anything like that as holding hands is fine for me. But im saying i dont see what's wrong with calling each other nicknames in front of other people. I do feel somewhat insecure due to the history of our relationship. I do understand what you said though.
  9. My boyfriend doesn't like showing PDA (e.g. calling each other babe) in front to his friends because two of his friends are single and he feels it will make them feel uncomfortable. We do hold hands in public though and around his friends but that's it. However, he doesn't mind calling me babe or doing pda when we are alone. He thinks and usually thinks of his friends before me and it makes me feel insignificant compared to them. I don't want to make him choose between me and his friends but I often feel like his friends are more important than me. One of his friend has a girlfriend and then are always lovey dovey in front of his friends and calling each other babe, even kissing in front of him and his friends. I just want to feel special from him in front of his friends. I have talked about this with my boyfriend many times but he just said he's not used to it and that he is an awkward person. He admitted today that he was thinking about what i said and that he realized he was prioritizing his friends and their needs over mine. Is there any tips on what we could try? For background: We have been together for almost 3 years. He is the quiet type of person.
  10. So my boyfriend has a very close group of friend he sees almost every week. We all hang out together. One of my boyfriend's friend has a girlfriend. Lets call his friend Jim and his girlfriend Lindy. Jim and Lindy have been dating around the same time my boyfriend and I started dating. They didn't show much PDA before but recently started being lovey dovey. Jim talks a lot about Lindy even when she's right there and always show her a lot of attention and centers around her even around guy friends. My boyfriends friends all started considering her as the queen and seem to approve of her. They are like the spotlight of every friend hang out. Jim announced to his friends that Lindy is the one he will be marrying in the future. Although its cute, I felt slight jealousy. Jealous that I want my boyfriend to make me feel that special or give me that attention in front of his friends. On the contrary, my boyfriend doesnt talk about me or about us around his friends. He's the quiet type of person that just stays quiet. I know its because of my insecurities of myself and of us. This is some background to our relationship: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years now. But in between that time, he broke up with me several times. One of the time was because he was overwhelmed with everything and don't think he can commit to anything right now. Another time we broke up, his answer was because he doesn't feel the love for me anymore and it hurt to hear it. A little after those times, we made up and he told me I'm the one he wants to marry in the future and the one he loves. After those times, my trust for him broke and I felt insecure of this relationship. I'm trying to figure out how to recover from the broken pieces and resume how we were like before. I still struggle with fixing it. I guess it didn't help that he told his friends the details of our breakup and it made me feel like the bad person. He told his friends negative things of me which I feel made them think differently of me in a bad way. Sometimes we hang out all together and I notice they treat me differently to Lindy. It doesn't help that they are all korean and sometimes speak in their own language that I can't understand and my boyfriend doesnt translate to me what they are talking about. I feel really excluded and insignificant. Jim also talked about getting a house and living together in the future with my boyfriend and their friends, including Lindy. This made me feel so excluded and don't belong because I was part of the plan and my boyfriend has no input on anything his friends say and always go along. Sometimes to the point he considers his friends' and others' feelings over mine and he admitted to this. I don't feel like his priority. I do tell my boyfriend that I feel jealous and bad about his friend's relationship and that I would like if he talked about me or us more to his friends. But nothing changes and I don't know how to deal with it.
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