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smokeybare

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  1. thanks everyone for the advice. I understand what some are saying (my mistakes) and I know the whole story isnt here. Its been almost 20 years so its would take a while to tell it. I can say for sure that there has been no adultery nor violence or threats. I know Im not perfect, and irritated her on things as occurs in most marriages. I think deep down I've known for a while that the relationship was over, but just stayed like most, cause its easier, familiar and comfortable. I know this is inevitable just need to have that conversation. Im fortunate that thru my company I can have access to counselling. I actually, just realized for the last couple of days she has stopped wearing her wedding ring so maybe she's realizing its over too thanks again
  2. Thanks for the responses, there have been other times in the past that caused me to think something was up, years ago she was meeting friends from work for drinks, she came home first to change and then waned to leave quickly because one guy was already at the bar and she wanted to get down there. I have spoke to her in the past, said things aren't good. Her response was this is just the way things are. When I told her I'm not happy she said that's my problem and I needed to figure it out. Im not suggesting I'm without blame here for how the relationship went, I've acknowledged everything I've done and apologized for it. She pretty much refuses to apologize for anything and if she does the majority of times there is a "but" after I'm sorry. Personally, I think I'd be able to understand what's happened better if it turns out she was having an affair. It would definitely make a lot more sense. In the end, its likely the relationship has run its course and the lack of emotional involvement is saying that loud and clear. Thanks again
  3. Thanks for the reply, already tried the counselor angle it was a no go. I was told if I thought we needed one then I should go she wanted no part of it.
  4. Ok I think my wife maybe having an affair or had one We have been together almost 20 years and I know sexual interest wains but we went 6 months without anything. When we finally tried she said she felt like I was violating her and we’d stop. Which I was fine with. I wanted her to enjoy it. Here are some things I’ve found strange Complete lack of interest in sex Pushes away for hug Says she doesn’t like to be touched I went to give her oral once and she was adamant not to do it. This was a first ever Frequently talking about other people who have had or are having affairs at work. Marriage isn’t the happiest hasn't been for some time A super strong feeling in my gut she is or has. I ask her once and explained that he lack of intimacy made me feel like crap, ugly and unwanted. I also said that as a married couple we share a special relationship as compared to any other relationship. She pretty much yelled at me calling it ridiculous. Anyone have any thoughts I’d greatly appreciate it because I have no clue and don't want to think im losing my mind.
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