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Everything posted by kt0304

  1. Thank you for your response. It is very helpful to know I am not the only one feeling this way, knowing it is irrational because I went out and did the same. What do you think made it not bother you anymore?
  2. We got married in July 2018 and broke up November 2018 so yes legally married but split completely. He moved out, we shared childcare etc for a year apart until we got back together.
  3. We are already back together and have been now for 6 months. It genuinely is the only thing that is weighing me down right now.. and how our arguments go when they arise. This is the thing, everything you say about what he did when single and how he acted is logical. I know this and know I have no right in what happened. What I cant cope with is how it is consuming me making me doubt myself and confidence if that makes sense? Like comparisons, were they better, how they looked etc. I know it shouldnt matter and what makes it even more irrational is the fact I went out and dated too. So I know full well I am being a hypocrite right here but am struggling with the thought of it. I havent gone back to him because he is familiar. When we are good, we a are so good and before we broke up I genuinely believed he was my soul mate. Breaking up made me think I must have been wrong, however, to get back together after a year apart does make me know more than ever we are meant to be together, we just have this added issue to get through.
  4. There wasnt too many responses but I agreed with what was said. I think it is because I am still struggling. I was thinking of asking my counsellor for individual sessions as that is something she offers. I just wondered on here if anyone had similar experiences. It definitely is not worth sabotaging my relationship but it's like it consumes me with anxiety about it.
  5. I have posted previously but I am still struggling with the same issue. Together 15 years, got married and 4 months later split up. A mixture of arguing with us both and my partner not realising depression was in the mix for him. However, he reached breaking point and decided he no longer wanted to be in the relationship and so we split up. Fast forward a year and we got back together because he realised his feelings were still there but was clouded by the depression and he just felt at the point he left he couldnt continue with how it was. We had a lot of discussions before just jumping back into it. One being that we both did explore dating in the time apart. At first it really didnt get to me but now it is like I am having a delayed reaction and am consumed with insecurities, irrational thoughts about him sleeping with other people which I know is irrational because I did the same but it really is getting to me and I dont know how to get past it. It's been 6 months since we got back together and I want it to work so bad but the past is causing so many rows. It's like I need to ask questions about it to make sense of it, then my partner thinks I'm either being judgemental and hypocritical or probing him to catch him out on things even though he did nothing wrong as he was single. Has anybody had similar experiences and got advice on how to get past it?? We are currently having marriage counselling too but due to lock down it is through zoom and it is helpful but find when arguments arise, the advice goes out the window.
  6. Has anybody got advice on how to get past what your partner got up to during the year break up i.e. dating, sleeping with women etc. Really struggling with this especially as it was a long term relationship of 15 years before we split.
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