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Willowtreebe

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  1. The guy has kept in touch with her even when we were together without my knowledge. We were "official" as soon as he got back so that's how far our 'courtship' was. He has said to me that he would not have expected me to date anyone at that stage. He also told me that he knew I would bail if I ever knew about what happened. We were always open about other people we dated in our early stages before agreeing to focus on each other but the guy decided to lie for his own selfish reasons. Have cake and eat it I believe.
  2. I wrote a previous post where my ex dated another girl and lied about it whilst we were in the early stages. A few other things were at play and I decided to end the relationship. My ex is moving out of my house and even though he said he never liked my neighbourhood and hated my gym which he joined, he has now decided that he wants to stay in the area. Not only that, but he wants to move in with two women at the end of my street. I have asked him not to, it will not help me heal or help with making a fresh start. Is this some kind of torture? Please advise what you would do in this situation.
  3. This story is complicated. I would appreciate some perspective. My partner and I are in our 30s. A year ago, he went to his friend's wedding in Brazil but I could not go because I did not have enough annual leave left so he went alone to be best man. When he went to Brazil, my divorce was being finalised (I was separated from ex-Husband a year at this point because he was having an affair) and my partner and I had been steadily dating 3 months. I told my partner I could not be "boyfriend and girlfriend" as this was an ugly process I was going through and I wanted to protect him from the legal battle I was in. I also had pressure from family not to be in a serious relationship and needed time to get though this but I wanted to stay exclusive and keep dating. I thought he understood. My partner was pushing me to be serious however we were sleeping together, spending every weekend together and had been on a holiday away together. We agreed to be exclusive and the WHOLE holiday he was messaging me that he missed me, wanted me there, sent pics of the wedding and told me he couldn't stop thinking about me. I was so pleased that he kept in touch so much, so much that I thoguht he was only interested in me. A couple of weekends ago, I was thinking about the past and asked him if anything happened in Brazil, and he told me he couldn't lie anymore, he took his friend's wedding planner on a date when he was out there, kissed her at the end and they briefly kept in touch sending pictures to each other. When he came back and we were official, he said he told her he had a girlfriend and she wanted to keep in touch as friends. I never knew about it but I had my suspicions as when he was in Brazil, I received a number of messages telling me he couldn't stop thinking about me, wished I was there but then got one from him saying "I want to see you again". He told me it meant he wanted to see a picture of me which I knew was BS. The message was meant for this girl. I don't know why, something snapped in me last weekend and I pestered him to tell me what happened and why I got that message. He has lied about this when I've brought it up a few times before. He said nothing else happened, the date was boring and the kiss horrible, and he didn't want to tell me as he knew he would lose me. We had a rough time a few months ago, and I seen he was searching for her on Facebook. We ended up splitting briefly and he started following her and revealed he was in contact with her again the whole 3 weeks we were split, he said he just wanted some attention and knew where to get it. Fast forward, we are working on things and this guy wants to settle down with me but I have my doubts. He believes he was wrong, but doesn't think what he did was so terrible. I think it was so terrible. To keep up an illusion that he was totally devoted to me. I even agreed to be in a relationship with him on the basis I genuinely believed I could trust him as nothing happened in Brazil and I was being crazy to think something had. Now, I don't know how to proceed. We now live together and share a beautiful home and a dog. I really don't know if I can trust him again. It killls me that he got back in touch with her only a few months ago and that just shows me that he does not respect me, but he says I'm making too big of a deal out of this. I feel like I can't trust him. Should I cut my losses or try to work on trust?
  4. This story is complicated. I would appreciate some perspective. My partner and I are in our 30s. A year ago, he went to his friend's wedding in Brazil but I could not go because I did not have enough annual leave left so he went alone to be best man. When he went to Brazil, my divorce was being finalised (I was separated from ex-Husband a year at this point because he was having an affair) and my partner and I had been steadily dating 3 months. I told my partner I could not be "boyfriend and girlfriend" as this was an ugly process I was going through and I wanted to protect him from the legal battle I was in. I also had pressure from family not to be in a serious relationship and needed time to get though this but I wanted to stay exclusive and keep dating. I thought he understood. My partner was pushing me to be serious however we were sleeping together, spending every weekend together and had been on a holiday away together. We were exclusive and I did tell him it would be a relationship eventually when proceedings finalised. A couple of weekends ago, I was thinking about the past and asked him if anything happened in Brazil, and he told me he couldn't lie anymore, he took his friend's wedding planner on a date when he was out there, kissed her at the end and they briefly kept in touch sending pictures to each other. When he came back and we were official, he said he told her he had a girlfriend and she wanted to keep in touch as friends. I never knew about it but I had my suspicions as when he was in Brazil, I received a number of messages telling me he couldn't stop thinking about me, wished I was there but then got one from him saying "I want to see you again". He told me it meant he wanted to see a picture of me which I knew was BS. The message was meant for this girl. I don't know why, something snapped in me last weekend and I pestered him to tell me what happened and why I got that message. He has lied about this when I've brought it up a few times before. He said nothing else happened, the date was boring and the kiss horrible, and he didn't want to tell me as he knew he would lose me. We had a rough time a few months ago, and I seen he was searching for her on Facebook. We ended up splitting briefly and he started following her and revealed he was in contact with her again the whole 3 weeks we were split, he said he just wanted some attention and knew where to get it. Fast forward, we are working on things and this guy wants to settle down with me but I have my doubts. He believes he was wrong, but doesn't think what he did was so terrible. I think it was so terrible. To keep up an illusion that he was totally devoted to me. I even agreed to be in a relationship with him on the basis I genuinely believed I could trust him as nothing happened in Brazil and I was being crazy to think something had. Now, I don't know how to proceed. We now live together and share a beautiful home and a dog. I really don't know if I can trust him again. It killls me that he got back in touch with her only a few months ago and that just shows me that he does not respect me, but he says I'm making too big of a deal out of this. Can anyone offer and guidance or help?
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