katiemt

Thanks for the replies. randy- no, there isn't something else bugging me about the relationship. Maybe what I described doesn't seem like it's that big of a problem, but it really is, to me. romantic sweetheart & RayKay- Thanks so much for your input. I really do need to find a way to let him know how hurtful this is. Not let him dismiss it or laugh it off. It sounds like you both understand where I am coming from, though, and that helps!

I'm not sure I have good advice for you, but just from a girl's perspective, it is really scary to see a guy who will go off at anything. The reason behind that is that I think that a way a person treats other people is the way that person will treat you, eventually, once the honeymoon is over. So, when I see a guy who has a hair-trigger temper and gets mean really easy, I think that eventually that is the way he will be if we have a conflict. Maybe you can work on letting go of some of that anger? Like, if you see some guy who likes your girl, instead of getting pissed, you can think to yourself, "well, she's with me, not him." And instead of concentrating on how pissed off he makes you feel, concentrate on the good feelings, give your girl a kiss and a hug and tell her how lucky you feel to be with her. As a girl, I guarantee this will be HUGE and she will really appreciate it. The first few times you do it, it may be hard, but we can all learn new behaviors. Good luck!

This is my first post, but I've been reading the forum for a while, and I'd love to get some feedback. Background info- my b/f and I are both 29 and have been dating for 6 months. We met through a mutual friend, and slowly built up a friendship over 4-5 months, and then both admitted there was something more there and have been dating exclusively ever since. We have a lot of common interests- we both ski, run, camp, and just generally love the outdoors. We both have pretty demanding jobs but still manage to spend a lot of time together. I love this guy to death, but lately I have been at the end of my rope, because of one issue- his constant criticism and nitpicking. On big issues, he is awesome. He's faithful, loving, and a good guy. But he is constantly picking at me for little things. If I make dinner, he is appreciative, but also sure to offer some criticism of the meal. If I happen to be the one driving, he is constantly nitpicking (you should have gotten over sooner, you should have taken that other exit, it's faster, etc.) He even nitpicks about things that have NO effect on him- (why did you buy XXX brand of running shoes? They suck. Or, you talk to your mom 4 times a week? That's nuts.) Last night he came over (we don't live together) and I got a mini lecture because my ice cube trays were all empty!! I have tried, a few times, to talk to him about it, but he laughs it off. I have tried to tell him that it bothers me when he is picking at me, but he tells me that it isn't criticism, it's "support". The only time it really seems to sink in for him is when I said "What if when I came over to your house, I started making little comments about how you could do X and Y and Z better. Wouldn't that bother you?" He admitted that it would, but he does not seem to be able to stop. Some more background info- I was raised in a very loving household with parents that I am very close to. His dad, ironically, is a super critical person and my b/f has very limited contact with him as a result of this. I seriously don't know what to do about this- thank God I am a confidant person, or all this criticism would have made me loony! As it is, I am questioning the relationship. My family and friends are great and supportive about me and my life, and this is my first experience dealing with a situation like this. Can he stop? And what can I do to make him realize how much this is damaging our relationship?