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  1. Thanks, yes I'm putting in the work, i do not want to be in the same position in the same mindset in a year or so, I know i have lots to offer as you said maybe just more difficult for some to find that match but itll be worth it!
  2. Yeh that is true I will have to keep that in mind for future dates, and I'm sure that will reduce the anxiety. This one just threw me alot because its like he changed into a different person overnight and confused me alot, but I have accepted it and have learnt my behaviour can also be confusing, so next time I will be impeccable with my word and not react out of anxiety. I will discuss with my dr/counsellor next appt. Thank you.
  3. Hi, thanks for the feedback. I just want to make it clear my preoccupation with my looks is secretive to potential dates and ppl I go on dates with. I never ever ask them if they think I'm attractive or ugly etc ever. I act like a normal person and discuss normal topics such as travel, food, funny experiences etc it always usually carefree and fun conversation. I know my compass is mangled completely. I'm just so frustrated at myself, I feel like what i want is attainable but at the same time so unattainable at the same time. I always do stuff for me, this week I've been surfing. Caught up with three groups of friends, been to the markets, been to the beach, caught up with family, so I do keep living my life.
  4. Yes this is true again, I can get specific about it, as i do know i have lots of good qualities also. I dont vent too much to my friends, just the same friends that vent too me. Yes i guess feedback from a relative stranger doesn't count for much, unless it was really something specific I was doing wrong that could help in the future. Thank you for always providing such wise advice with little relatable scenarios, it helps more than you would know. As for the therapist, i just mean if they judge you dont have this body dysmotphic syndrome and that your concerns are valid how do they tell you that.
  5. Yeh I think its a mixture of both things, being shy Nd unattractive. But in saying that i know i do have alot of love to give and could make good partner for the right guy, as I have in the past.
  6. Thanks, i did read that link and have all of the symptoms however I think someone who is "ugly" would also have those symptoms. I'm scared to mention it to a therapist Incase she says " no you don't have that, you are just unattractive" or do they just help you deal in not putting all your worth in your looks whether you have it or not, because than I would be interested in mentioning it.
  7. It must be nice to feel wanted like that. I dont mope too much, told three friends about it today which helped to get it off my chest. I guess i can take away that he liked my personality which is a compliment, just need to find someone who likes both
  8. I do go to therapy but it doesn't seem to help very much. Yes I know if i work on my personality more itll increase my chances, I'm just quiet shy and reserved when meeting new ppl or in big groups. My main reason I jumped to that conclusion is because he said he liked my personality, i just don't know why it changed suddenly, and then when he was asking if i thought he was attractive it must be because he doesn't think i am
  9. I am prepared to work hard, just at this moment feeling a bit sorry for myself. And no i wasn't being sarcastic, and yes I guess i dont want to be with someone who thinks I am in fact ugly, i want to be with someone who likes my personality so that to them I'm attractive and not the other way around.
  10. Ok that sounds relatively straight forward and easy...
  11. Yes I feel better if I know i was nice and myself and didn't do self sabotaging behaviour. I literally cant change my face but i can change my actions. Everyone says confidence is attractive so I'm working on that.
  12. Well if he said he likes my personality and likes talking to me that is the only other thing I can think of. Yes thats because i think i am. To change my perception I try to work on my personality and character more and hope someone will look beneath the surface and see past my exterior.
  13. I know but i thought when someone rings and messages everyday it means they like you, then the sudden change I dont really understand it, then asking me if i find him unattractive when hes the one that just friendzoned me. And I'm kind of annoyed at my counsellor for saying she can assure me guys I meet will like me initially, when that doesn't seem to be the case at all. Honestly I do feel defeated
  14. I just don't think i will ever understand the opposite sex
  15. Yeh its tempting to give up but i just have to remind myself giving up will gaurantee I'm alone, may as well keep trying.
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