femmegrl31709

I actually wrote Freedom and said that I did NOT like the comment or advice that was written to me....I do take care of all of my babies and love them ALL dearly! Thank you to the ones who did write consoling comments. That is what this site is about. NOT trying to kick someone when they are down. I am hurting from my Tipsy dying and if I weren't and didn't care I wouldn't be here....Please understand that when posting anything to anyone Freedom.

I would like to say...be glad that you had a daddy. My father is still alive and I have not ever had that connection with him. I think you have been blessed to have had that. Be glad that you aren't grieving someone who is still alive. I do have many people who have passed that I miss so much....I knew they loved me and they knew that I loved them....with my father it is different.....I am the middle child and I haven't ever felt his love....I have reached out for it many times just haven't gotten it. I am 29 and still look for it and want his approval....it won't happen...i just want it...Be glad that you had that and embrace what you and your daddy had (have). Know that he is looking out for you in every step you make! I have a father here but not a daddy and to me it is very hard to not know someone who is living a block down the street. I think it would be great to feel what you have. Be glad and find peace in that! You will meet again! I am sorry for you loss...just know that you do have someone on your side looking out for you!

I know it isn't my fault...but my boyfriend told me it was...or is. Some people don't understand that this is my child....they are my children......the one that died today....his daddy went missing yesterday was a year.... I did what I had to and 3 weeks to the day I got him back. I did what I had to to get my baby back and now there is nothign I can do! To me I do love ALOT of people...but my babies love me no matter what! It doesn't matter if I am * * * * *y or what they love me. Think about it it is hard to find people like that...for me it is anyway.

OK This is my story....today my youngest baby ( I have only been blessed with dogs) got hit by a careless driver! His name is Tipsy...a beautiful baby boy. And I don't know how do deal with this....My boyfriend said it is my fault b/c I let them (we had 6 now 5) to use the bathroom. It was so pretty today and I wanted them to have a good day...well they weren't out but 5 min. and everyone came in but Tipsy so he and I both go out to look for him and I see him in the road...he was dead, I ran in front of the traffic and told people to stop...I didn't want him to get hit again IF he was ok...no one did! Why does it seem as if noone cares anymore??? To me this isn't just a dog...its my child!!! So I go out there and grab him up in the middle of the traffic and I knew he was dead but he looked pretty much the same...i knew his neck was broke....i grabbed him up and held my baby one more time.....crying wondering why the person who hit him wouldn't have at least tried to save him! I am just really lonley and my b/f hasn't been any help.....I guess I was hoping somone here would be.

OK This is my story.... OK I have 2 guys one who I really love... one who I really like...the thing is that the one who I like is alot nicer..(is that a word???) to me than the one that I love...the one that I love isn't nice to me like a MAN should be and I think i deserve better!!! I tell myself that and then I have someone who wants to treat me better and I don't want to take it....why do I not want to take it??? It makes NO sense to me!!! He is so nice and I know that he would like good things for me...what is wrong with me??? Why am I going with my heart instead of my brain??? The sad thing is that the one that I want to be with thinks that I would go and sleep with anyone....if the bastard only knew!!! That is how I should feel toward him......but I don't. Now it is hard for me to sleep b/c he and I have 5 dogs together and I have none of them here to keep me company. I guess I would like to know what others think....am I as stupid as i feel???? Any suggestions or comments....I WOULD REALLY LIKE THEM..I wish i could put this song on here...It is "she says" by Howie Day....that is how I feel like the one who is nice to me feels...I don't want to hurt him.......my thing is that I guess I want to be loved and he is an artist and I am not sure that I fit in anywhere in there....I don't know...It is late and I am soooooooo unsure of anything...sorry if this makes NO sense.

OK so this is my situation...I have or had a b/f....I am not even sure at this point which it is. I love him. For the past couple of days I have been sick. To me there are just some things you shouldn't have to say that you need. Well today he decided that he wanted to go to his Martial Arts class and I was fine with that(it was suppose to last a hour). Well 3 hours later he comes home to me not feeling well and tries to call the instructor and he didn't answer so he says "I am gonna go back over there and talk to him do you want to come??" me not feeling well I say no and he says i will just be a min.(b/c it is just a block down the road) well an hour passes by and he come strolling in and thinks I should not be upset! Well I am!! He is known for downgrading me and making me feel worthless and I am sick so i would like for him to be a little sympathetic!!!! I am not a bed of roses I know but seriously show me something!!!! Well I leave there and come to my parents house and get an email from someone who I have had dealings with prior to him that is exactly what I want to hear...but from the wrong person. So I guess my question is how do you get someone to say what you want to hear? I want him to mean it and I want him to feel it inside! I don't know what to do! I want to be with him but he isn't giving me what I want....and on the other hand I have someone telling me what I want but I don't want him. I have let the other one know that but he still wants more. If it were my b/f saying and doing what he does it would be great! What do you think??? Please help!!!

Gator I am a woman and I can say that if she came to you and said this to you that she must love you....the thing is that it looks like she isn't in love with you. That is a hard pill to swallow but be glad that she told you. You don't want to waste years of your life with someone who isn't in love with you. The pain will still be there when it ends and if she isn't in love with you it will end. I am not in the same boat as you but I am trying my best to be strong and not show my feelings. The crazy thing about that is if you act as if it doesn't bother you you may just get what you want. Good luck!!!

Ok so I am suppose to be going through a break up. I wrote last night about my situation. Well after I wrote last night he called me trying to be nice and I was. I let him know that I was tired and going to bed. First thing this morning he called again, asking if I would come over saying that he misses me. I told him that I could not do that b/c I am not strong enought to act like we are just friends and that is what he is doing. Then I find out that he called his ex. Like I said before he says the most hurtful things to me that he think of....one of them was that she (his ex) was 400x better than me. Now he wants me to be OK with him talking to her! How could he expect me to be? I mean you say that to me which makes me think you would like to be with her if she would take you back. I don't know what to do I think he is trying to drive me crazy! What should I do? And to think I actually thought about going over there! I am such an idot. Sorry if this makes no sense my mind is racing with all kind of thoughts that don't really make sense to me.](*,)

Yeah I am a long term person I guess you would say. I have been in 2 other relationships one for 9 years that ended b/c I found out he had cheated for 2 years with my best friend. The 2nd for 4 years and that ended b/c I found out he cheated with our roommate. So I know that I do have trust issues. Both of them new that about my past relationships. I just feel like yeah I may be overreacting but you never know who is going to hurt you even your family.

don't know why I can't seem to have a healthy relationship? My boyfriend and I broke up Wed. The day before our one year anniversary. He and I both are stubborn people and he thinks he did nothing wrong but I see it differently. Tell me what you think.......Here's my story Tues. I came to my mothers house to wash dishes b/c we were having plumbing problems (and we had an load of dirty dishes ) well I called my boyfriend asked what he was up to and he said nothing and then a minute later he was like can I call you back in a little bit so I said OK and then never heard back from him. Two hours later when I got through with all the dishes I called him back and told him I was through and he was like oh your cousin is here( supposedly to see me and my mother lives a block away). I was fine with it at first......well we get back somehow her keys are lost.....she said she came right in and sat on the couch and didn't move......her keys STILL haven't been found!!!!! They were both high as hell and it rubbed me the wrong way. I will say that I overreacted the first day but I did let both of them know that I didn't like it and didn't want it to happen again b/c I know that my cousin is a and I love her but don't trust her......Well the next day women's intuition told me to stop by there again and she was there!!!! Yes she had to get her keys but I told her to not go by there without me but yeah she was there and AGAIN they were both high as hell!!! Well needless to say I went off ! I don't think they had sex(I my be stupid for that) but the fact that both of them disrespected me when I told them both I didn't like it I was highly pissed off! Well I showed my and then he and I were talking and trying to work it out and anytime we talked about it we would start fussing again. He thinks he did nothing at all wrong and I do. And when we argue he is the type that will say any mean thing that comes to mind so the breaking point was when he said "Why don't you do everybody a favor and kill yourself" to me that is the most awful thing that you could ever say to someone. Oh but naturally he didn't mean that........and he always says that after he says something so mean. Well ya know there are somethings that you just can't take back after they are said and to me that is one of them. I mean I would not ever think of even saying that! I am not saying that I am perfect and do no wrong b/c lord knows I do. And now he acts like he is just fine with everything and I am wrong for showing emotion. I just can't do that it bothers me and I love him. I can't make that stop at the drop of a hat. I would like a strangers input on the whole thing. Am I wrong???

I just wish I could find a way to just forget her and forget how I feel about her. I feel like an idot for still being in love with her after everything but my heart doesn't care.

Ok I wrote before under lost and lonley after 4 year breakup. That has been 1mo. and 2 days. Well my ex has decided to start calling me telling me that she is in love with me and misses me. I feel the same way but don't know what I should do. I have moved 2hrs. away from her and I just know that the problems would still be there if I went back to her. She lives right next door to her mother, brother, nephew, and neice. That was a BIG problem for me. She didn't treat me right and she knows that, she says that it was b/c we spent too much time together and we did. We worked together and were around each other 24/7. And now it has been 1mo. and 2 days since I have seen her face. Its hard!!!! I want to touch her, smell her, and hold her! I am trying to be strong I really am. But since she has been calling all I can do is cry and want to be with her. I told her that for four years I made her my everything and that if she loved me like she said she does that she would find her way to me for once. I know that will never happen b/c she isn't going to leave her family but there is NO way I am going back around that. That may sound bad but that is the way I feel. I left my family to be with her. I guess I will just have to be as strong as I can and stick to my guns of if she loves me she will make me first in her life for once. She says that since I left there that I should be the one to come back. But nothing will have changed, sure it will for a while b/c we haven't seen each other for so long. And yes I did leave but I told her over and over what was going to happen if things didn't change. I'm confused!!!!! I am in love!!! Someone please help me!!!

All you said is true. I am trying to come to terms with it. She called me today and tried the same thing of putting me down. I hung up on her once and she called back and I told her I am gone I have moved out of town I don't have to have it anymore. She does that and then tells me that it is me who is acting crazy....naturally. She was saying that I left without dicussing it with her and she didn't appreciate that and I was like well I had enough. I kept telling her that and I guess she just didn't think it would happen. I stayed with her b/c at one time I felt more love from her than I ever have but that is gone now. I don't know when but she will miss me sometime surely. Then she will have to greive over what we had by that time I hope I will be strong enough not to care anymore.

The thing is....last night ( i write in a journal) I said what were you doing? She said reading your notes.....I didn't like that and let her know it! And tonight she calls her.....she tells me that she doesn't want me back with her b/c she took a part of me that she misses....i just can't understand. Misty called me all kind of names in the past and I don't understand why she would want to call her! She is suppose to be MY mother.....I dont' care....if someone calls your daughter fat and ugly why would you want to call them and still be "friends" with them??????

First of all....how did you feel about him before you did this with him????...How do you feel about him now? That is questions you need to ask yourself....I am a lesbian who knows that there are alot of " straight" people who do things like this and then question themselves. I personally think it is normal. Me being a lesbian have felt "strange" feelings towards one man. I think it all depends on the person you are dealing with not if your gay or not. Who knows this may be one special person and if it weren't to work out you may never go that route again....but if it feels good and special DO IT!!!! There is no better feeling!!!!!!!!

I don't understand ANYTHING or ANYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am really upset right now so excuse me. My mother goes and calls my ex and talks to her tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then doesn't understand why I am upset! I told her that she crossed a line and I didn't like it( i was gone out to play pool with my brother at the time) What is wrong with her?????????? I have enough STUFF to deal with to not worry that she is gonna call her.....I am doing all I can not to after she has been such a bit*h to me!!!!!!!!! Why does she not understand????????? Then she comes to me telling me that Misty still loves me(and she is already seeing someone else 2 days after we break up.... come on give me a break) what was she thinking??????I soooooooooooooo feel like I am her mother and she is my daughter!!!!!! I love my mama but WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?????????????

Thank you both....it really helps to have people understanding of situations when you feel as if you have noone else. The thing about the brother is I enjoy talking to him and don't want him to think I am leading him on. I won't lie....it feels really nice to hear the things he is saying. I don't understand why she couldn't feel the things he does. I too don't understand why he had to voice his feelings, I moved 150 miles away, he's her brother, and MARRIED! My ex of 9 years called my sister when she found out I was back in my home town. I was stupid enough to call her back last night not knowing that she still has a girlfriend!!!!!! I even still talk to her sister and she has been saying that she wants Pam and I to get back together...she never told me she had a g/f. Boy she is up to her same old tricks....I feel sorry for her g/f because she is stupid like I was for nine years and doesn't see who Pam is.(she hates me and I'm not the one who has wanted Pam back for 5 years) I guess that just shows me how stupid I was to even think of calling her.

your welcome....i know it bothers my mama if I cry....so if the letter doesn't work try that...lol lol

That is a bad place to be in your life. I don't know the kind of relationship you have with your mother but maybe you need to sit down and write her a letter. That really helps sometimes. I was lucky when I came out to my family I was 16.....my g/f was 24. They might not have liked it but they love me and wanted me to be around them so they have come to be ok with it. I'm sure your mother loves you and wants you to be happy. Try to talk to her and help her to understand you. Good luck

I would like to say that I have been openly gay for 13 years and being a "girly girl" I haven't had the problem with gay bashers....I have more of a problem of the can I watch thing.....I am sure that you would like her to end up with a man but think of what kind of men she may have been with in the past. who knows she could have ended up with a wife basher. good luck and just support her maybe she will make the right decision

i would think if you are saying all of this about this man that you know what you need to do. you just have to find the strength to follow through with it. i don't feel like i am the smartest person by any means but I too am going through a similar situation. I left my relationship though and it is very hard but you are hurting now....if you get if over with the pain will go away.....LORD I HOPE!!!! that is what i am praying for now....and it is VERY hard but I have to stay strong and keep my faith. good luck to you

I feel your pain. I too have that sick feeling of not being able to sleep or eat(I have lost about 15) in a week. It so isn't easy when you love someone to realize that it is gone. My situation is different from yours b/c unlike you I was with my g/f for 4 years day in and day out. And now it has been a week of me not seeing her she is seeing someone else and I feel awful. Good luck to you maybe both of us will heal faster than it seems right now. Just do as i am and try to keep your head up.

I think you go up to her and strike up a converstaion. Be flirty and let her feel your vibes. If she blows you off all you have to do is look into your new curiosness somewhere else. It sounds as if you do have a chance with her....don't have regrets by not trying.

At one time she loved me more than I ever thought anyone would. I guess I was just waiting and hoping that I could get that back from her. I have tried to leave before and she would ask me not to and tell me that things would change. Not to mention that I did and still do love the person she was to me at one time. They didn't. I also love my babies and knew how hard it would be to leave some of them. Yes, we did get two of them while we were together. And it is hard to think of me never seeing them again. The 2 I have with me are depressed and missing their brothers and sisters and it is hard on me to see that as well. And the really messed up part is that I have been talking to her brother and he told me this week that he knew that he shouldn't b/c I was his sisters g/f but he has always had feelings for me. There is noway!!! Could you imagine there family functions...lol And that is just the tip of it......I feel as though EVERYTHING is falling apart....I am trying to be strong. Its just new and hard to think of never seeing her again. I just get so mad at myself b/c she isn't missing me and I am making myself sick over it. On the bright side she can't call me fat anymore.

Your daughter may be bi. I think everyone is some just don't act on it. We are at a different age and time to where people are more open to trying new things that feel good. And from experiance the touch of a woman is so different and gentle than that of a man. Good luck