cintaku

I just want to share and need some vent. Do you think this will affect my emotional/anger? *my childhood life story* My mom pas away when I was 13 yrs and my dad too before I finish my high school. Since that time I just live with my youngger sister were other bro and sis live at different city. Even they support send us money to support our living but we need their love and comfort too. We had other relative live close by but we're live by our own. Sometime the relatives come by and to tell us that our grass need to be cut and flower need to be maintain. That's hard for me and my sister control all together.. school, cloths, the bills and also take care the house. Manage our money and prepare they food or buy them and sometime I just split they money with my sister. So, she could buy the food she want it and what I want too. About money and food is not really the issue between me and my sister but emotion of lost parent that sometime hard for us handling. Most of the time I had to hide my sad feeling to help my sister ....try to be a big sister were inside I am really lonely and sad too. This life going on till I finish my high school then move to the city and live with my brother and sister. They send me to school to get some skill so I could get job too, they also teach me how to be tough and independent to live in the big city. As emotionally I am still not let go the feeling sad of lost my parent yet, were sometime that feel come and go. Until I had a boyfriend and share my though and feel with him and I think that help a little bit. Generally I am a happy gal...funny goofy outside. Now, I am in middle 30 and my husband lates 40 was the only child and he has difficult to express his emotion/affection. I am the person that already been learned to be tough and independent and my husband kinda spoil not fast learn still don't what he should do even his already graduated from college. Even, I moved from small country to this country by after3 weeks I live here I already start working. I still problem to comfort myself when I miss my parent during hard time in my married because sometime hard to compromise between us ... both still need attention like kids he he..... I am a good disiplin and independent while his opposites, this become problem because now we have kid 4 yrs now. Anyone could help me what should I do to help me and my husband? 1. How to respect each other 2. How let/tell my husband just to spen money to primary first without sound instruction? 3. I try to disiplin my kid and he follow while I am around only. This is not because his bad dad but his easy to forget. Or busy watching TV and just let my kid flay with her food/drink because his not notice it. I know that his not a bad dad but sometime he make wrong choice.

Good for you Eddie500 and glad you find somebody special in your life again then hope the happiness will stay forever...

Hi everyone, I don't know any of you remember that I wrote in this forum a couple months ago. Some of you suggested me to read the surrendered wife and I did it and I like the book. I try to follow what the book said but doesn't work. May be I have a little bit control issue but that was not the big problem at all because he just the man that need to somebody to kick his butt before he can do thing. Since I read the book 2 months ago I didn't say or ask him to do anything that he has to do. We talk about stuff in house that we need to take care of and split the bill that he has to pay and some I had to pay. Also about the house jobs like clean, cook and take care the kid and he agree with that. So, I start do no tell/no ask anything to him. I just do what ever that I had to do and leave him alone for his part. I did my part like paid the bills that I had to pay and do the house work that I had to do. I make sure everyone have they lunch and dinner and the cloth been wash and he dried. He washed the dish after meal and I didn't complain about it. I really tried to not look after him you know... complain about grass not been cut or bill not been paid and stop bought book because we're from job. Diane my neighbord called me today ask about my hubby is sick or not she just worried/concern because normally the grass will get cutt 1 a week minimum but now look more then 2 week not been cut. I didn't know/notice it, because I try to not look the grass even when I was outsite play with my kid I just follow what the book said. When his drive I just let him choose the way he want it and he normally ask me and I just said "what ever you thing". I know he also more happier that I'm not look after his shoulder. The big problem is that he does do his part right and he spend the money to buy more books instead of pay the bills. I know we have mo relax time together until yesterday .... I just blow off like a BOM... because he does not do his part. When I asked why he doesn't pay the bill and buy the book instead he just smille scare like kid get caught stealling candy. I'm really overwelming upset right now.... and I just ask him to look after my kid and I just need sometime for myself. I need to think that this married gonna work or not then he also get mad to me back and said that I can't leave the house. That not the way to solve the problem. I love my kid and I don't her to see and listen the parent argue/fight. Here I am still seat in front of the computer with tears while his slept well like no problem at all. I really don't know what to do and I don't want to put my kid in the midle of the our problem. I know this will really hard for me and my kid and him but he does not help us. I asked him to help me to find a counseling for me and for him and he said yes. Look and see ... because I had asked him 3 yrs ago when we both still work but he said the counseling was expensive. We are both out of the job and in the middle of process going to school and I don't know I could handle this problem concern to study. May be I just find a job that culd support me around here if not I have to move to the city were more easy to me to find a job. That's was my other problem live in the small city were the people hard to except me speak English the way I speak. Any kinda job that I do always back to same problem. I know I could find a job in the city because I tried before when We went there for holiday and I apply some job that I like it and the give me some interview and wiling to hire me. The problem is about my kid how she feel if the mom and dad not live at the same house/city/state. I have to much to deal right now ...I don't that I'm strong enought to handle this problem and still have to be a loving mom to my kid. I really miss and need my family to comfort me were I could vent too, but they half way the globe from here. Thank you very much to let me vent in this board and any of willing to give any support I really appreciate it.

G'day mate!.. Sorry Ican't help you ... but I just miss my Ausie man. I used to work with Australian company.

Hey hot_to_trot, May be he will or not depend on his situation right now. If he's already 'move on' and may be his in the situation NC with you may be you not going to get any respond. (even he would like too)

Yes, there are.

I'm you're really like it.

Please do ... as I did for myself coz that's help me in special condition to make the string back.

I'm glad you're like it.

1. You can never tell how people truly feel about you, couples live together for years then break up but how could you know unless you try. After all, what's few broken hearts compared to finding true love??? 2. Love's weakest when there's more doubt than trust between two hearts. But it's stronger when there's more doubts but we learn to trust in spite of the doubts. 3. Sometimes you wonder why you stay in a position that hurts you so much... you know you could do without the pain that you realize you love that person too much to go. 4. Remember girls: No guy is worth crying because if he's worth the tears, he wouldn't make you cry. 5. When you love someday, be ready to take the intensity of emotions. Be jealous, anxious. Love all you like. Take the pain and everything that comes with it. Just make sure the person is worth it. 6. The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who'll love you most with all your flaws and imperfection and whom you'll love back as much. 7. There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn and people whom we can't love without but have to let go. 8. The real test of true love is having all the things go wrong, but still having special way to love in spite of all that wrong things that may happen. 9. Friendship can end in love but love can never end in friendship. 10. Never enter a person's life if you're meaning to step out of it later on. 11. Never say goodbye when you still want to try; Never give up when you still feel you can take it; Never say you don't love that person anymore when you can't let go. 12. To love is like playing the piano; first you must learn to play by the rules then you must forget the rules and play from the heart. 13. Every step I took since the moment I could walk was a step toward finding you. 14. It's hard to say I love you not because you don't but because you do. Don't let a day pass without telling your special someone that you do love him/her too. 15. When you're in love, don't get too high because it's not the fall that hurts, it's the sudden stop. 16. Goodbyes make you think, they make you realize that what you've had, what you've lost and what you've taken for granted. 17. Time doesn't heal the wound in your hearts. It only makes the heart little number so that the next time it gets wounded, it wouldn't hurt as much as it did during the first time. 18. Love doesn't make the world go round; it just makes the ride worthwhile. 19. How can you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at that someone, all you can think about is how much more you really want. 20. On the course of love, people must teach their hearts to be brave --- brave enough to hold on when things go wrong and brave enough to let go when they realize that things are no meant to be after all. 21. The best part of loving is not hoping that a person loves you so much as you do but in knowing that you love her far more than you can. 22. It's friends that becomes the deepest lovers, it's like one day, someone flicks the switch and you wake up and your best friends becomes the person you can never live without. 23. People say that when love comes knocking through the door, let it in.Sometimes it comes through the back door and by the time you notice it, it's on it's way out. 24. Three special people in our lives: a) people we love but have to hate, b) people we hate but can't live without, c) people we can't live without but have to let go. 25. Don't let me walk alone, I want to walk by your side. Don't let me talk to someone else, it's you I want to talk with. Don't let me fall for someone else, it's you I feel in love with. 26. How do you know if you've fallen real hard? It's when someone hurts you and you love him/her and then he/she hurts.

You're absolutely right 'Shadows Light', that's was my thought about push him to move and he doesn't move at all. Now, both of us (me & hubby) get a chance to get training at a local technical college. I just concentration for my self to get ready with my SAT and I know which course/training that I will take. Perhaps next Fall I am ready and I just ignore him about training that he'll and I don't ask him but he start ask me about the course that I'll take. Now, I reliaze that I need to step back from his training thing ...let him think by him self. When I need to return my other books may be I will ask (library if they have thus books) Thanks you again and wish me luck

I know ... but that questions come n go in my mind, and I don't have the answer right now. Divorve him may be more hurt then try to stay here ... that's way I try to reach out for help and advice. I also try to keep my self more and more patient because emotion just make the condition more worse. Oh ya ... thank for your advice "duct-slayer"

I have write about my situation at another tread but now ....look like getting worse and worse. I have been married for seven year and have a wonderful and smart daugther. We have issue about the job and money, his not step up to lead this marriage. His not good dissiplin for him self and also to my daugther. So his kinda mess up with mykid dissiplin right now. One part of myself want to get out from his life and just take my kid stay with me and he could come see her anytime as long his not messup with her dissiplinary. She is 4yrs now and this time to dissiplin her before to late, I dont try to take her away from him but try teach my kid better dissiplin without him. I am really easy to get angry/upset right now toward to my husband...... and I know that will hurt him but his not listen to me. I don't mean that I am the boss in the house but his too way lay back. He has educated but still hard to figure what kind job that he want....how could he apply for the job. He got the chance to go to technical college to take some course to up grade his skill perhaps could help him get a good job...but until now still don't know. He doesn't manage his time to figure what kind course that he want but he spent his time browsing for work from home, check on ebay business or check out a trading business...and make all the company that involve with call home to follow up on him. Sometime he purcharge something behind me (like rich Dad or no down payment) or go to the seminar about this thing. Addicted to buy book if he gone to the bookstore without me and he'll bring some home or hiding under his car seat and sometime his not even remember when bought that book. Make the phone rang 24/7 just look for him and also about Credit card that his mess with that we can't paid any right now because both of us out job. This situation really drive me crazy ... his not help me out. I am my self in the other hand know what I want to do but doesn't much job opportunity around mu area. If they even have some that will be from staffing agency were I am really tired to deal right now because they don't give gurrantee hour. All of this problem go thru my mind while he just enjoy his life sleep in the sopa while watch TV or browsing on internet. I know that his the only child when I married him but I don't really see that he could this bad. I want to separate from him for good but I don't want to make my kid suffer of love or cant affor a better life for her. I know I am not the perfect eather but I always try to learn and figure what do and how about anything. Did I push him to hard ...and make him more passive thinker... I dont know. I know I should go to consult but the money is the #1 issue here. Thank you to read my vent and perhaps any of you could help me 'what to do .... on my problem'. How should I handle this ....can I survive or should I leave/divorce him. Can he get better soon. I know he did this and that but his not really a bad ..bad guy....but if his not take in charge here, I couldn't hold on much longer. I really appreciate it. Cintaku

my daughter is the most important thing right now for me, If not may be I did what my friend said to me. Sometimes I feel hopeless because he so passive like nail wait for the knock before move. .... I'm sorry if that's sound sarcarm but that is fact. Less initiative/lay back were really opposite then me (always have some idea on how to do thing or find some information about seeking a job) not try to complement my self tho. I am from half way of globe/Indonesia and new in this area but now I have more friends then he is. I don't speak English good that is my problem were hard to me to find the good pay job, but I don't care right now the matter is money. Step by step I will study my toelf and going college. Pershap after he found the good job were could alow me go to college and just work PT. Once again "anotherone" thank you for your support hope we could get out from this problem soon I wish . and GBU