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baffledgirl

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About baffledgirl

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  1. Being bombarded with messages is an extreme and all extremes are, of course, unhealthy. Still, I do think that right type of messages from the right type of guy are unlikely to turn off a girl who is genuinely interested :) The only time in my life that I slept with a guy on the first date was a result of insane chemistry he's managed to build up via endless texting in the few weeks preceding our meeting. I've never experienced something like this before or after as most texts I get from guys early in dating are pretty boring because we don't have all that much in common yet. I definitely d
  2. In my experience, similar sort of behavior comes across desperate/annoying or exciting/desirable based on how much I actually like a guy. If I feel rather lukewarm about him, then being bombarded with texts would be a turn off. On the other hand, when I am super excited about the guy, I get annoyed/worried when he doesn't text me often. I don't think you can scare away a girl who's actually excited about you by showing interest (just don't come across as a stalker). On the other hand, if she's not interested in you, it doesn't really matter what you do or don't do. Personally, I give a guy
  3. Since we have a date on the books for after he comes back, I think I am not going to go too crazy if he doesn't reach till he's back. I do plan on wishing him Merry Christmas regardless of whether or not he contacts me during this time just because it's a nice thing to say and he's been initiating 100% of text exchanges since we reconnected 1.5 months ago.
  4. He asked me about my week etc in the middle of the week and then reached out few more times to check in. During our last text exchange, he said he would have loved to meet up before he leaves but his schedule is just too packed. He then asked me if I was free to meet after he gets back and suggested a specific date, which I guess is good. Aside from that invite to do an activity together that he declined on account of being busy and that prompted prompted this thread, he's been very good about following though with his promises to check in or confirm things that are up in the air, so for the t
  5. He did end up setting time to meet up after he gets back (with no prompting on my part) so we shall see what happens next.
  6. Oh I have no problem admitting that I really like this guy lol. It's very easy not to play guessing games when you are lukewarm about someone (which describes my feelings about 95% of guys I've ever gone out with).
  7. I am glad! Explaining my point of view on the subject of second choices is exactly what I was trying to accomplish via what was perceived as "arguing" by some :)
  8. I like to overanalyze everything and hate uncertainty, not just in dating, so I admit it's hard for me to stay perfectly chill...I've done one of those relationship attachment style tests and came up with pretty high score for "need for security" and even higher score fore "self-esteem". This probably explains why I've never been described as even remotely clingy (despite my wondering about what things mean) and why I am not bothered by him picking his friend over me after that one short date (I know I am great. Three months ago, he just hasn't had a chance to get to know that I am great befor
  9. Oh by the way, in case anyone still cares, the guy that's causing all this intense debate has just reached out to check on how my week is going...
  10. My mom raised me to have rather high standards too but also to understand that different standards do not necessarily mean "low" standards ;)
  11. It certainly is not my intention to question your choice! I am genuinely interested in hearing WHY someone would act differently in the same circumstances, which is why I like hypotheticals :)
  12. I have every intentions of letting the situation go if this guy disappears without a trace for the next three weeks. I am just trying to explain why I wouldn't have felt as his "second choice" had he been a model suitor after we reconnected (which he still could be in my opinion if he reached out, say, tomorrow to make plans for next week). I'd like to point out that I wasn't asking for advice on whether or not if I should date this guy (I am capable of making this decision on my own). I only wanted to know what people thought about him not making plans before going away for a while (and I got
  13. And here I thought message boards were a vehicles for discussing different points of view. I don't know there was a written rule that OPs are not allowed to have theirs :) My actual question had nothing to do with my decision to revisit this guy. I found the advice that was relevant to the question quite helpful actually. Since the rest of the advice was unsolicited, I see no reason not to share my point of view of why I don't agree with it.
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