Magnum1313

Yeah that could be. As I said before she hasn't done this before so she might not want to publicaly. Happy holidays to you too!

I'll try and explain my situation the best I can, starting from the beginning. About a month ago I asked a girl I liked out, who I'll just refer to as "J" from now on. J and I went to a movie, had a pretty good time, and planned on doing something again. Now, the night I asked her out I was performing in the pit orchestra for our school's musical. There was a stand set up that you could buy flowers for members of the cast and pit and whatnot, and another girl, who I'll refer to as "K", got me a rose. I had known K for quite a while and it really bothered me at first that she sent it (even more when she admitted she had liked me a lot for a long time) at first, but as I got to think about it I realized how much more comfortable I was around K than J, and I suddenly had this huge decision on my hands of who I wanted to go out with more. I only told K that I was struggling with this decision for whatever reason, but I did eventually decide that I liked K a lot more than J. When I just told her that I had come to a decision she crossed her fingers and got all excited, and she couldn't believe it when I said it was her. Now things should have just gone smoothly right? I mean the guy she liked for several months finally said he wanted to go out with her. Well... We went to see RENT on our first date. As we were walking inside I had my hands in my pockets (I mean come on it's winter, it was cold out) when her sister, who came along with one of her friends, asked if we were going out or what. K promptly took my hand out of my pocket and held it and said "There, happy!?", though she only held it for about 10 seconds or so before she had to start digging for money. We went into the theater and sat down in the back (sister and friend in the front), and we talked until the previews started. When those were over I put my arm around her, though looking back on it I wasn't confident about it at all - the way I did it could have easily been taken as "the only reason I did it was because we were on a date" or whatever. Anyways, it was after this that she started to seem kind of distant from me. She never really seemed like she wanted to be around me at all, but more on that later. We decided to go to the mall on date #2. She seemed quite excited to go, and it was going pretty good at first. As we sat down to eat at the food court though we got into a conversation about how she's been acting since the movie. Like I said she seemed really distant. She explained it as that she was "really weird" and wouldn't "be all touchy feely right away". This would make no sense whatsoever if you had read how strongly she came on to me online before we were going out. We talked about it for a while longer and it seemed more like she was having second thoughts than anything. The rest of the mall was fine, and things just kind of stayed in the "I'm weird" phase for a while. Her sister tried at every opurtunity to get her to do stuff, even just hug me goodbye, but K never did anything willingly. So about a week ago we were on the phone and I finally got the meaning of "I'm weird" out of her. Aparently she really wanted to be touchy feely at first, as in hugging, holding hands, and everything else that phrase entails, but because of how seemingly hesitant I was at the movie it freaked her out and now she didn't want to anymore. She still wanted to go out with me but didn't want to hold hands or anything. She finished it with "I'll do those things when I'm ready, just let me do them when I want to." which I was OK with, I wasn't going to force her into anything she didn't want to do. Things quickly degenerated though. We went to a school dance which she at first wanted to go to but when it came down to going she didn't know anymore and was eventually pissed that she had to (she didn't have a way home from the school so just went because of that). I tried following her around but whenever I'd turn around to talk to someone I'd turn back and she would be gone again with her friend she absolutely had to follow, who I'll refer to as S. K and I did eventually dance to two slow songs, but durring both of them she hardly even looked at me, she was either talking to someone or just looking around. By the end I had given up on trying to follow her and just hung out with a group of people, including S. S, on the second-to-last song, even started grinding me, which was awkward until I realized K was nowhere to be found. As we left S said something interesting, that K didn't want to dance with me but acted like she wanted to, which made no sense 'cause she acted like she didn't want to. I dropped K and her sister at their house and went home depressed and wondering what I had done wrong. The next day I left K several emails that she never got (she got grounded from certain websites including that one) asking if she even wanted to go out with me anymore, and when she called me later the next day I asked her there, where she told me S was lying and she really did want to. Everything seemed fine again, though we had a brief fight about the dance because of another huge misunderstanding - she thought I didn't want to dance with her and I thought she didn't want to dance with me so we ended up not dancing and drawing conclusions and whatnot. That was a week ago. Today I just got back from date #3 if you could call it that, which involved going bowling, getting pizza, and going to Wal-Mart, all with 5 other people including K's sister and her b/f (they've been going out since the dance last week and have shown more affection towards eachother in 5 minutes than K has shown to me in the 3 weeks we've been going out), and S, who had over this last week lied, according to K, several more times about K actually not wanting to be with me at all. Bowling was fun though K paid far more attention to S than me. I've gotten to the point where I'm making the decision for K on when she wants to be touchy-feely, by just doing it. I put my arm around her several times but that's it, and she doesn't really seem to mind but she doesn't seem to really want to either. Half of the time she'd sit next to S so I couldn't do it, though it didn't seem to really be intentional so I dunno. At Pizza Hut she seemed more interested in me, though S sat almost purposely so I couldn't sit next to K (I ended up sitting in front of her but still...), and at Wal-Mart it was back to her not even caring if I was there. I'm pretty sure if I just dissappeared she'd only casually wonder where I went and would go back to just doing whatever. The only way I got her attention was at the end when I won her a stuffed animal out of one of those claw games. She said she'd hug me but her arms were full of stuff, which she could have set down if it was important enough to her. And through it all she still says she wants to go out with me. Now you see where my confusion and frusteration come from. Part of me regrets more than anything picking K over J, and wants to break up with her and rub in her face how I regret my decision and wants to tell her how un-caring she's been considering how taken with me she was not but 3 weeks ago. Part of me still likes her too much to do that and wants to be with her, but that part expected to have the same affection shown back and has thus become neglected and irritated. Her sister is probably more mad than I am, it's driving her nuts how much fun we could be having if K wasn't so...well, weird. I just don't know what to do. If she could just forget about my original lack of confidence (she said it was like I didn't want to be touchy-feely but I really did, I just didn't know if she wanted to be then or not) and realize that relationships are so much more fun when you do that stuff (she hasn't done any of that before, and I've only done that kind of thing a little bit so I'm no master on knowing when the time's right to hold her hand or move in for a kiss or whatever) then everything would be fine and we'd both be happy, but she seemingly refuses to budge from her position. She acts all relationship-like online and on the phone, acts like she wants to be with me, but in person, like I said before, it's like it wouldn't matter if I was there or not, she'd be equally happy either way. A perfect example is at the bowling alley, we were joking around and someone made a joke at my expense, so I just looked down and said "Alright I'll just go, I can see when I'm not wanted..." and started walking towards the door, and K said absolutely nothing. When I turned to her and said "It's nice you're objecting to this and everything." she kind of half-heartedly said "Okay, I don't want you to leave." She says she wants to be with me but doesn't show it at all, and I'm sick and tired of it. Any suggestions? Sorry about the length of this, and thanks to anyone who ends up reading the whole thing.

Well I promised an update and here it is. Today sould have been the best day of my life. M came over for three and a half of the best hours of my life. We came up to my room and "watched" Lord of the Rings. Truthfully I got to second base for the first time, and we both had a great time. But, of course, with a half hour before her mom was supposed to pick her up she shows up to end things. Now M's mom is not only seemingly bi-polar but likes to make assumptions. I'm sure if she knew all we were doing was making out she wouldn't have had nearly as much of a problem with it. Her mom was even in a good mood when she was here (not much of a surprise as other people were around). When M got home I called her and her mom was still in a good mood. All she asked M is if we had a good time and that was it. She had to get off the phone after a while and said she'd call right back. This, of course, is where things went to the worst yet. I got my call back about 2 hours later. I could really hear her at first but I soon realized that if she wasn't crying then she had been. She said she and her mom had just gotten in a huge argument and that she hated what she had to do next. My heart sunk before she had to say another word. M's mom all of a sudden asked her where we had been because we walked down stairs (my room is upstairs) when she came to pick M up. When M said we were in my room her mom asked what I was doing up there and she said that we were just watching the movies. That's when the argument started, and in the course of it M's mom hit her twice, once was a smack to the side of the head and the other M just kept saying "She hit me so hard...". I think she said it was in the temple but my cell phone sucks so I couldn't really make out that part and didn't really want her to repeat herself - this was painfull enough as it was. Her mom called her a whore several times and assumed we were having sex up here, and told her to break up with me without even telling me why and not be able to date for a year or she'd be homeschooled. Granted I made it to second base after just over a week of going out but I can tell all of you from experience that she's no whore, it's that we both love eachother more than anything (again I know this sounds strange but our relationship is a lot different from anything either of us have experienced before, that and we both really liked eachother before I asked her out so it's natural things would move a little faster than expected). We've both gone over this time and time again that we won't have sex until we both feel it's right and we're both ready, and we both know that that point won't be reached for a long, long time, and we're fine with that. My parents trust me after I told them we made that decision, and I can't thank them enough for that, but M's parents either haven't gone over that with her or wouldn't believe her if she tried telling them. She's had sex with two different people, one willingly (she said afterwards that it was a huge mistake and purposely stayed away from the guy after that so it wouldn't happen again) and the other she was raped. I guess because of those incidents her mom has lost a lot of the trust she had in M, and that combined with being bi-polar didn't add up tonight. The only thing that stopped me from personally talking to her mom was that M begged me not to. She told me that it would really only make things worse, and that I couldn't tell anybody about this (again none of you know who I'm talking about so this should be OK). She said that knowing her mom she'd take it back in not too long, but we're not really sure how long that will take, and there's no guarentee she'll take it back at all. If not M said we'd just start going out without telling her mom but I wouldn't be able to stand that. That's really all the farther our conversation got; we both said "I love you" a couple of times and she had to go before her mom found out we were on the phone. I really can't take this anymore. I love her so much that it literally makes me sick to my stomach knowing that whenever she's home she's leaving herself open to abuse like that, and that even if we are allowed to see eachother again her mom could be having a bad day and decide to end things between us again, accompanied by more violence, physical and mental. I've made up my mind that I won't rest until she's safe and out of that abuse for good, but as I've said before there's no good way to do it. Even if she could get emancipated that just leaves the baby open to abuse. Neither of us are sure that would even happen since her mom cares more about the baby than she does about M but there's always the chance. But M couldn't stand the thought of taking her brother away from her mom either since she knows how much that would hurt her mom. If M's mom decides to leave her stepdad (it's been treatened about 15 times and never done so it isn't likely at this point) they wouldn't stay here, they'd move to Kentucky where her grandma owns some land. I seriously don't know what to do to accomplish my goal of setting her free from all of the harm that's come her way and having us stay together at the same time. Right now I want more than anything to talk to somebody about this and do something about it but all I can do is sit here and wait it out. She said her mom isn't going to be home tomorrow so she'd call me then. I'm going to do my best then to convince her to take some sort of action regardless of the effect on her mom. Normally I wouldn't be so cold but I think most of you can see why I don't have much sympathy for her now. If/when it all blows over for the time I'm going to start talking to someone, probably the counselor at school, on the options open to her. I just...this is just killing me inside, it's the worst pain I can imagine to not only not be able to see her but know what she has to live with on a daily basis for absolutely no reason at all. I'm in desperate need of help here, and don't really know where else to turn for the time being. Any ideas? [edit] The situation is worse than I could have imagined. It's still possible that we could get back together, that her mom could cool down, but when I look back to the conversation we had on the phone before this fight started I remember hearing a phone click but didn't think much of it. We were joking around about what had happened, not being specific because we both knew what happened. Trust me when I say it could have been taken the wrong way. I'm pretty sure her mom had been listening in to our conversation and now I really don't know what to do. I suggested to M that she go to the doctor and get medical evidence that we didn't do anything and she didn't seem to find too much wrong with that but I'm still not sure if she will or not. All she said is that we both had to be patient and she'd talk to her mom about it when things cooled down. I'm still forbidden to tell anyone on the grounds that it could only make things worse, and she isn't willing to leave her mom for any reason because she loves her even through the abuse. [/edit]

I would talk to them about it but for the time I've been sworn to secrecy about this. lol I probably shouldn't be talking about it here but since I'm not giving away her identity I think it'll be OK. I've thought about talking it over with my counselor or the social worker at school but again I'm really not supposed to be telling anyone about it. If something happens like them getting an invitation for therapy sessions she'd know exactly who did it and wouldn't be very happy with me at all. When the time is right I'll start talking it over with someone, probably when she turns 16 this March. Then she can get a job like she said and everything will go smoother if/when some action takes place to put an end to it. I'll still keep both of your ideas in mind, though, and I'll ask her if she thinks therapy would help.

Well then, where to start? The beginning would be good I suppose, so here it is: I met this girl in marching band a few weeks back - she moved here not too long ago. She's so great, I love her personality and she's so beautiful that I still can't believe how lucky I am to be with her. We've been going out for less than a week now but things have evolved really fast. We've agreed sex is out of the question this soon, and probably will be for a long time, but we've still made out several times and we both know for sure we love eachother. She's so happy with me because I'm so different from the other guys she's dated and she loves it, and I'm happy with her because, well, I've been single up until this point and I love her so much. So you might be asking what my problem is, and why it's in the abuse and violence section. Well I just dropped her off at home instead of her mom picking her up, and before she left she told me a lot of stuff the I have the feeling she's told nobody before me - she forbade me to tell her best friend. She's always complained about her parents. Her dad died when she was 8, and after her mom started dating again she re-married 2.5 months after starting to date this one guy. Unfortunately, thiers wasn't a relationship made in heaven. They essentially hate eachother now. Her mom is on anti-depressants just so she can stand to be around the guy, but they still fight almost daily for the stupidest reasons. They frequently pack up and leave to stay at a hotel She'd leave him but he took all her money and put it away somewhere she can't get at it. She can't get a job because she has to take care of their 2-year-old baby and there's no way in hell she'd get a job good enough to get a place to live and be able to support the three of them. So they're pretty much stuck with eachother. You still must be asking what this has to do with violence. Her mom is obviously stressed far past the breaking point. I can hardly imagine a relationship as stressful as that. The problem is that she takes it out mainly on my girlfriend (now to be referred to as M). I'm still not sure how often it gets violent but it has, enough times that she let the thought of going home ruin her time at my house today. All she has divulged so far is that one time her mom grabbed her so hard her fingernails punctured her skin and left scars, and another time she just pushed M and that ended up leaving her with a scar on her forehead and the knowledge of how much a head-wound bleeds. As I was driving her home today she pretty much inferred that it happens a lot, more so since we started dating than usual (her mom likes me though so I'm pretty confident it isn't because of me). It started happening before they got married. From what she says it was soon after her dad died. She says it's no big deal, that she's used to it, but after seeing how scared she was to go home I can't stand the thought of her with her parents. Every time she goes home she runs the risk of being yelled at at the least. Yesterday we went to see a movie and when she got in her mom's car to go the first thing she was asked is if she acted like a whore (she didn't in the least and never has around me or anyone else here). Between the verbal and physical abuse she takes it was the hardest thing in the world for me to drive her home, even though that option was the least likely to get her yelled at. The worst part about it all is that they aren't like that all the time. M very rarely gets along with her step-dad but when her mom isn't stressed they get along just fine. You can tell her mom loves her and she loves her mom, she just has a hard time dealing with the immense amount of stress and ends up taking it all out on M. I've asked her about some of the options open to her I can think of but none of them really appealed to her. I asked if she'd consider a foster home but she said that then her little brother would be taken with her and that would absolutely kill her mom. I suggested her getting emancipated but even then she's 15-and-a-half and would need to get a job and a place to live (I offered my house for a place to stay but I don't think she thought I was serious) and she doubted it would ever happen anyways. I really can't think of any good way to get her away from all that but I need to now, I honestly can't handle the fact that every time she has to go home she's affraid of what will happen. She was on the verge of passing out today because of it, though she told me on the way to her house it wasn't so bad when it happened, just the calm before the storm scared her. After thinking it over a bit I think emancipation is the best thing, especially if she could move in here (not for any sick selfish reasons but because I know my parents wouldn't make her pay rent and because my parents have never faught about anything - they bicker occasionally but never even do more than slightly raise their voices). But I'm still aware other options are out there. If her mom could get a decent, well-paying job they could move away from that stress, but like I said before this started before that relationship so there's no guarentee it would stop, it'd probably just slow down. After seeing the look on her face today, after letting this all ruin what should have been a terriffic time together, I feel so bad for her that I can't do nothing about it. She even said before she left that she wished she could stay here forever instead of going back. If I do nothing I'll go crazy worrying about how she is and if she's OK. They're off somewhere away from home right now because of the fighting; I assume it's a hotel but wherever it is I can't get in contact with her to see how everything went. Any ideas or advice would be much appreciated, and thanks in advance to any who give their thoughts and oppinions on the matter. I'll keep you all updated as I learn more, since I have a terrible feeling that she still hasn't told me everything.

He's right, you have very little to worry about. Most guys get a little, well, bored with just one partner. Porn is a way to satisfy that boredom without leaving whoever they're with. Chances are they'll never meet the person in the picture/movie, and they probably don't really want to leave their girlfriend or wife for that person anyways. If you don't like that idea then look at it this way - better than him cheating on you, isn't it? And if he didn't look at porn there'd be much more of an urge to cheat on you. Again, it's nothing you've done wrong, it's really just how most guys are, whether or not they like to admit it.

I'd love to if that would work. She already warned me not to try her parents. One of her friends already tried that, I dunno what the results were other than it didn't work, I assume she got in more trouble because of it.

Ok, wait, let me rephrase that. Yes, I am looking for advice. I just talked to her tonight to find out that her parents still haven't let up on her grounding, and there's no sign of it any time soon, which makes it terribly difficult to have any connection at all outside of the internet. Here's my question, does anybody here know any really good ways to get a grounding to be let up faster so we don't have to wait it out? I'm getting desperate here, it's starting to seem like I'll never get to see her again.

Well I really doubt anybody remembers my story because of how short and long ago it was, so I'll just go over it again in a little more detail: I met a girl online. Well, more correctly, an ex-friend of mine met her online, they dated on and off for about 8-9 months (LDR made it difficult), and this girl and I became terriffic friends through it, though we only hung out in person twice. For some reason she seemed different, special, so much so that I would side with her on almost any issue, regardless of the concequences (the reason why the guy I mentioned earlier is an ex-friend). I comforted her when he or anyone else wasn't there for her, listened to her, I was an all-around good friend, partially because I was attracted to her (she's hot as hell!) but partially because, as I said earlier, something felt different about her. She was the same way for me, she was there for me when nobody else was, listened to me, was an all around good friend back to me. We stayed friends throughout this whole time, about 11 months now, while relationships were constantly shifting around us, friends becoming enemies, enemies friends, relationships breaking up and new ones forming. But because our friendship was LDR (more like MDR, since she lives about 40 minutes away), we communicated mainly through IM. I called her occasionally, but she couldn't call me because her parents won't let her call long distance. Things stayed like this for a while, until February, I believe. To make a long story shorter, she got tired of being around the guy she was with (my ex-friend), and tried finding ways of telling him without actually saying it to him. One way she tried, on top of not calling him when she said she would, was to have a friend of hers who lives several states away say they were dating so he would get the hint. He didn't really get the hint as much as went off the deep end. I was talking to him (the ex-friend, now referred to as B) as it all unfolded. He went very quickly from denial to panic to anger to sheer, uncontrollable rage, saying he was just going to go to her house and blow her head off, not caring that he would spend the rest of his life in prison. He still loved her but, as you can see, he doesn't make a lot of sense and doesn't think things through. Anyways, I spent, starting at midnight that night, two and a half hours trying to convince B not to do it. He downgraded from that point to saying he was putting a hit out on her head (he thinks his "homies" are super loyal and would do anything for him), and that he'd put one out on me if I didn't stay out of it. By then I had given up, since nothing would change his mind, and went to bed. Turns out he did nothing about it, and they were together for roughly a week before she ended it permanently (she was essentially blackmailed into it, B saying that if it ended he'd make her life a living hell, make her wish she had never been born). Needless to say that we are now not friends because of that, and this: in that time they had sex for the one and only time, and the idiot decided to not use a condom. Of course she got pregnant, but luckily because she's so young (she's 15, B is 19...) her body couldn't handle it and she lost the baby naturally after about 2 weeks. It was after helping her through this that I realized how much I cared about her - more than just about anybody I know. You people might think I'm crazy to want to be with a girl who got pregnant at 15, and as far as I know she wasn't a virgin then, but none of you know her like I do, another reason why she's so different from other girls. If it was anybody else I'd forget about her and move on but I can't do it. She's one of my best friends, and will hopefully become more than that and just put all of this behind us. Fast-forward a couple of months to present-day. Her parents found out through the cops (dunno how they found out, but they had to ask parental permission to press charges of statutory rape), and she's grounded until further notice. B has gone to court several times, and almost got locked up because not only the statutory but I guess he started stalking her afterwards. We're just waiting for him to leave for marine boot camp so he'll be out of our lives. He keeps making threats (obviously out of jealousy) that he's trying to protect me by keeping me away from her, because I guess I'll just go to jail if I go out with her, too, and the fact that she would have nothing against me (I'm smart enough to WAIT until we're both good and ready and she's of legal age) means nothing to him, because he has convinced himself that he has done nothing wrong and thereforeeee jumped to the conclusion that the courts always go against men. Back to his threats, though, these have kind of worried me. His last one was that if he had to he would put an end to all of this, somehow permanently cutting off communications between her and I. He made the threat shortly after the last time I talked to her online, and it's been two weeks since I've heard from her. Yeah, she's grounded, and finals for school are coming up, but still it's easy to get worried about something like that. I'm also worried about two things: that she'll find another guy or that when we finally get together in person she'll find I'm much better online than in person and not want to be more than just friends. She's really sending me mixed signals. Our relationship has evolved such that at the end of IM conversations she'll call me something like sweetie or hun, and now in emails she puts things like love always xoxo, but in our last IM conversation I couldn't take it any more and told her how much she meant to me and how much I cared about her, and all she could say was that we'd have to hang out in person more for her to know how she really felt. Though I don't want to, I have to agree with her, because I had a bad experience with a girl saying she loved me through IM, then us meeting in person, me hardcore freezing up, and her soon after finding another guy, and at this time we haven't talked in about 5 months. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if that ever happened between myself and the girl I currently like. So her and I have planned on hanging out after the school year ends. That's in 5 more days for me, and around the same for her. We were talking, two weeks ago, about how she could get around the grounding. She was sure her parents would let up a little now that summer was around, but I'm not so sure, considering what she did. If all else failed I would just have to talk to her parents in person and get permission to be around her. I'm honestly a good person, and would never EVER be able to bring myself to do something as terrible as what B did, and if I did I'd have the knowledge that I'd have to deal with several hundred people not only back home but around the country who would tear me to shreds if they found out (a friend and I came up with a list of people who would come to our side if B did anything else, and it is literally in the hundreds). Anyways, there are problems on my end, too, mainly that I don't have a car. I have to hire out a good friend for a ride, and that also gives in excuse for being gone since my parents don't want me to go out there for any reason. I'm also worried, as I said before, that she'll find me more attractive online than in person. I'm a decent-looking guy, a little out of shape but it's not very noticeable at all. My main problem is freezing up around girls that I like, and with her chances are it would happen. That's why it's good my friend is there, because he's talkative and would keep me that way, too. And, of course, I'm worried that B will do something drastic and not thought through. Oh, and that the LDR would be too hard to deal with. I'm willing to try, though, so only time will tell. I guess I'm not really looking for advice, though any anyone can come up with is welcome. I just needed a place to sort out my thoughts and release some stress.

"Something original and special is, of course, the best...but you need that time with the person to develop that. " True true. That (hopefully) will be changing soon. I asked her out several times, not getting an answer because a lot of more important things have been going on, the biggest one resulting in her being grounded and no dating until further notice. After that she finally said she'd go out with me but she couldn't at the time because of the punishment, so when that's over I should be able to spend more time with her, developing that unique relationship with unique names. For now, though, I'll use the generic ones and see how she reacts. I won't be able to see if she smiles or anything like that, since most of the time we're IM'ing, or occasionally talking on the phone. That and I'm kind of worried that I'm coming on too strong. Every once in a while I get the feeling like she really doesn't like me and is just being nice to me for whatever reason, mostly because I'm never around her in person to see her body language and facial expressions, and with IM'ing it'd be pretty easy to not catch some of those things. Anyways, we've been good friends for long enough that she can call me those things so I should be able to too, right? We'll just have to see I guess...

So I've known this girl online for about 9 months now. We've met twice in person, but that was a while ago. As time went on we became really good friends. One day she just started calling me names like sweetie and hun. At the time I didn't think much of it, but recently I've found I have really strong feelings for her, and I thought one way to express that would be to call her similar names, but I really can't think of any I like other than the ones she calls me. Any ideas on some good names?

Sounds like a situation I was in. Best advice I can give is to tell him about it as soon as possible. If you two can't get back together soon then tell him online. From what happened to me, by the time I told the girl I liked how I really felt about her she had already hooked up with another guy. That was 7 months ago and they're still going out. So much for waiting that one out... But do you see my point? It seems pretty obvious that he's at least interested, probably a lot more than a slight attraction, so you should make your move before it's too late.

Well for any of you who really cared, here's what happened with that girl: absolutely nothing. But I have a good reason, I didn't just chicken out. A lot of stuff that I'd rather not go in to happened recently, and I found myself very attracted to a very good friend of mine who just happened to had broken up with her boyfriend. I ended up sending her an email explaining to her that I had really strong feelings for her and wanting to know if she'd go out on a date with me in a little over a week, since this coming weekend is too busy for me and weekdays are out of the question because of school. I haven't gotten a reply yet (second day after I sent it) but a day before then we sent this email quiz between us that really boiled down to the last couple of questions like "Would you ever kiss me?" or "What would you say if I asked you out?". On that last one she said that she'd probably say yes. My point in still continuing this, though, is this: should I, if she accepts my offer, take her on a double-date instead of a normal one? We were planning on going to the mall before now just as friends, but in asking her out I asked if she'd rather go to the mall as something more serious than friends, on a date. Anyways, I obviously am posting here because I'm a pretty shy person, and even though I've found I can really open up to this girl I'm still worried that I might freeze up. That's where the double-date idea comes in, a good buddy of mine might be willing to do that if I asked and I know that if he and his girlfriend were there I'd be able to relax a lot more. Any oppinions?

It has only gotten more difficult on my part. The perfect thing for me would be if I could warp back in time to her first couple of days here, then it wouldn't seem so random for somebody to walk up and start talking to her. But now that a couple of months have gone by it feels like the hardest thing in the world. Never thought of her not being able to break the ice either...I always kind of assumed girls had less of a problem with that than guys. Stupid assumption, I know, but it rationalized in my mind that maybe she wasn't interested in me because she hadn't talked to me yet. In the end it just makes me madder that I didn't do something before spring break, it would have been the perfect time to ask her out, and left a whole week for her to find another interest.

Sounds like what I used to do and still do, though I'm getting better. Trust me and everybody else in saying just go for it. At the time it seems like fear of rejection or whatever else makes it not worth it, but after a while her interests will change and she won't notice you any more. That is far worse than being rejected after letting her know you like her, because then you have no relationship and you hate yourself for not doing anything about it.