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jl92

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About jl92

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  1. Thanks for all the feedback, everyone. I've tried to wrap my head around what happened but know that is unhealthy and I have to stop guessing. No matter what happened, she decided she wanted out. There were probably some red flags I ignored like her talking about how awful her exes were so early on in the dating process. She'd bring them up a lot only to say how much better I am than all of them and I'm the first guy to ever show her respect. She had a 3 year relationship and a 4 year relationship prior to dating me. One ex cheated on her, and the other mistreated her on a daily basis accordin
  2. The thing is, I did find it crazy. But I am very inexperienced with relationships and rolled with it. I mean, she was insanely nice to me. Would cook for me, bring me lunch at work, always compliment me, sweet good morning/good night texts. It all felt so good and new to me, but yeah, I ignored a lot of red flags. I am sure most people would agree that most relationships that start that intensely will rarely workout.
  3. This all happened a couple months ago. I want to give everyone the full insight and see why this hurt me so much if you all do not mind. I learned about the BF a month ago. I don't think any cheating was involved. I haven't taken the best approach since the B/U and have peaked at her social media one too many times. That is how I learned about the new guy. He's a coworker at a new job she got after the breakup. Maybe that's the shock I needed to truly let go of her 100% and move on but I fight the "what if" battles a lot. It doesn't help that it's holiday season either and I am sick of spendin
  4. You may be right. I'm not owed anything but I do wish I knew what it was that made her see we were unfit if it just was a compatible issue. We shared so many common interests and had similar beliefs on almost every topic. But this is my vantage point. Maybe her reasons would have hurt me to hear and out of respect, she didn't voice them. I know that speculation isn't healthy, but I usually see breakups a mile away, whether it be friends or my own and this one seemed so strong until it wasn't that last week and I never really knew why.
  5. That did sound bad on my part, you are right. I've managed my money well and have a good bit saved up but I can understand her wanting a more stable situation. I just wish things like this were aired out more in the early stages so nobody had to get hurt. Maybe she tried her hardest to look past potential flaws but she just couldn't hold on anymore. It stings. I hate dating and haven't had much experience, but she was easily the best woman I dated.
  6. Given my post relationship behavior(neediness), I know there's no chance of us reconnecting in the future. I'm in her past for good. She offered friendship after the B/U, and I reached out a couple times the first few months, but I could tell that she seemed annoyed by the contact and she never really planned on initiating any contact with me. Just a nice offer to ease her guilt and let me down easily. That is why I am trying my hardest to move on so that I can't stay hurt over someone in my past. I won't ever reach out ever again and will stay away from her social media. It was her birthd
  7. No1 Thank you for this post. I think you are right. She had just gotten out of a relationship where her ex cheated, she was starting a new job, and she was having some financial issues. I should have been alarmed when I received the "I love you" after a couple of weeks.
  8. Life can be funny in a mean way. When I dated this girl, she always mentioned how much she hates her last ex(red flag) because he was disrespectful and always checking out other girls. She complimented me nonstop about how much better I was than him, blah, blah. Well, I knew the guy. I worked with him before and we got along pretty well but I didn't know him outside of work. Suddenly, he's showing up at my job and trying to be buddy, buddy with me. It's so annoying to me. I look at him and it just makes me cringe. He dated my EX for 4 years and was apparently a huge jerk to her, but I was s
  9. Thank you for your thoughtful words and advise. Hiring a trainer is something I will definitely look into and I've thought of adding a sitter as well so he gets the attention he deserves throughout the day. I am making sure he gets all of my attention and I don't show my sadness around him because he has such a big heart. I haven't looked at her Instagram in 3 weeks after I pulled up her page on my phone and my stupid thumb hit the follow button. I had a panic attack and unfollowed/blocked/deleted the app. The thumb incident is how I liked a post of hers weeks before the following incident
  10. Thank you everyone for the replies. I love my dog and treat him as well as an owner can treat him in my opinion. Sometimes I overdo it and spoil him a bit much like letting him sleep on my bed/couch whenever he wants and always buying him treats/bones. But dogs live a short life and I always thought they should be treated as well as possible while they're with us. He loved her to death and his tail would nearly fall off from excitement whenever she'd come over to my place. Sometimes I wonder if the age difference was a hidden reason. She's 32, I am 26. All of her friends are married with k
  11. I try to exercise as much as I can but I work a lot of hours. Sleep has been an issue and I've developed insomnia. I go to bed at 2-3 AM most nights and wake up around 7-8. I tried sleeping medication, but it gave me vivid dreams that would often include her so I stopped taking them. I've met new people and left my apartment a lot at night but nothing has seemed to really work to be honest. This new feeling I developed recently has really crushed me. Other girls don't even attract me in the slightest....somehow I've put my ex on a huge pedestal, which I know is toxic. I guess that's the thing
  12. Hey all, I've been a long time reader of this forum but I've never posted. I wanted to share a heartbreaking breakup I experienced that has hurt me greatly. This is going to be a long post so I apologize in advance and understand if you don't want to read all of it. I had a 3 1/2 month relationship with a girl that started in February. I know that sounds really short but it was intense and we spent countless hours together. At the age of 26, it was my first true relationship. She was 6 years older than me but the age gap never once bothered me. I wasn't looking to have a casual relationship or
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