I am a heavy introvert and find large group settings draining. Whenever I have a party/clubbing event I try my best to fit in by talking a lot and acting extroverted. I don't like drinking and everybody knows this. The problem is I feel left out when others binge drink to get drunk around me and become loud and obnoxious. I see those people (who are my very good friends) as selfish and their behaviour as unhealthy. It puts me in a position of spite and I usually refuse drinks and become designated driver because of it. I assume my stress and judgement for these people is out of jealousy. But I have been drunk before and still feel the same way. My experiences haven't been great, but they haven't been negative either. My conscious thought-process follows a simple path. I see alcohol as a drug like any other drug. Drugs are the opposite to self-improvement and are self-destructive. If I see my friends taking shots, I will join in just to keep up. But I won't take any more than 1 or 2 just to ensure I am being responsible and taking care of myself. I will then mediate the rest of the night with some standard drinks so that I don't go overboard. When I see my friends excited to take shot 3, 4 and 5, I get angry and upset. I don't know why and I don't know how to think differently. I have an event tonight and don't want to go home feeling annoyed or upset. Please help me think differently.