sergio

I wish you lots of courage and strenght tearsofadragon, since i passed through your ordeal just 2 weeks ago. But let me tell you that i totally agree with your attitude . As much as some ppl try advising you to the contrary, that it is not worthwhile breaking all ties after so long and that u should give second, third, fourth or even fifth chances to the ones you love, and that ppl are complex, sensitive etc(which i'm sure they are). i just tell you that there are also some of us which unfortunately are just a bad habbit, they are not what they were when they met us, they are not the same person we fell in love with. Some ppl are just not worth the effort, and lets face it , would you want someone who'se tossing your heart about and treating you badly as a friend?? i don't think so , some words are said just out of convention, siad just so as to avoid an awkward silence, which at the end of the day is probably better. I just did the same thing you did, i cut all contacts with my x gf, gave back everything, and although i miss her, i am happy i chose this path. No use kidding myself, and being what i'm not, i'm sick of all the futile jealosy games, and lets see who cares least contests, attention-seeking tantrums.It is wise torealise that once your relationship has taken a certain path, there's almost nothing u can do to save it, cause things will never be the same once certain lines are trespassed, at least for ppl like me, who take long to fall in love, but once they do they give more than everything for the other person. Your pride first, and its important to realise in some situations just where your limits are, just as you did, and if you can't salvage anything else out of the relationship, then at least save your pride. Take care man, believe in yourself, and get to know yourself better, because thats one of the secrets of good life.

i Agree with Guyute, and if i were you i'd take it a step further...if she's going out with the other guy i'd face him and tell him exactly what his new gf did... truth is the best weapon you can fight with, and reputation is the best target you can aim to hit. Don't flinch, and these may be hard words, but i guess they refelct reality, since this grl is messing up with you, and judging from my own experiance..she will do it again and agian and again.... Your pride first, don't put up with the bull shit, of course she did a mistake, and its her own problem to get her credibility back with you now.. words mean nothing man, remember that. Actions speak louder and clearer. Don't think my approach is too hard, if she asks you why u did that, just tell her something like,' cause you were being a bitch and i feel you should put your feet back on the ground'. She will definitley react badly at first, but if she's in her senses, and wants you back, she'd see your point and in the long run, respect you more and think twice before messing up with you again

Is she yr X or still yr gf?!?! there are too many things which you didn't mention, like how was yr relationship going and stuff, so i wouldn't know, or say anything about it. For this reason i'll stick to the point....if its over and u really wanna move on, meet other ppl, date different grls, and get busy...DO NOT GLORIFY HER IN YOUR THOUGHTS..the past always looks better than the present remember, and your x's always look most gorgeous after u finish the relationship. if you see her every day, and u're on speaking terms then if there is anything to speak about do, but if not, just ignore her. there's nothinhg worse than going up to her and trying to act as a friend, when all u wanna do is ger her back. so if u wanna forget her, it is best to ignore her and move on

Everyone has his views....these are mine...

Amen! i agree with what the guys inthe previous 3 posts said. 2 traits which are so common: first they tell you the proverbial ' we can just be friends' then next second they move on like the years never passed, the promises never made, the love never given, the life never shared. One day you're the man of their life and the next you're an acquaintence. yes yes some say that it had been happening for long..so thats real fine, they expect us to care and ask whats wrong..and then when something is wrong on their side they just give subtle hints which the average guy would not even notice. Move on man! be drastic! no half way measures, if it hurts you so much , get her out of your life for good. Hope is last to die, but would you trust her after something like this even if she came back? wouldn't the second time be worse?? i gave a second chance and it was worse. in these situations don't get blinded by love, but act selfish think of yourself first...unless you wanna hurt bad that is

Here we are throwing in a lot of cliches, and psychology, which is worthwhile, but void of real substance. like most topics on the genre, it will never lead to any solution. we can keep on asking rhetorical questions all night and discussing cavemen , sapiens, neanderthal and the lot, without making any dent in it. Some facts are as they are, and will always remain this way. useless asking why, we should just accept them and if anything, focus on living and coping with them, not understanding them, because changing them will mean changing us, and human nature is immutable. Love knows no logic either so no amount of psychology will hit the nail on the head. nice ppl finish last, thats a fact , some men ignore grls that are not a challenge, but only if the grls aren't attractive and haven't got the minimum iq to engage in conversation, i.e are absolute bimbos, or really shallow. women want a challenge and most often say they want one thing then when it comes to the crunch of it, they really want another. men act aloof cause they know that if they are themselves, and say the 3 magic ords, i.e 'i love you ' too often, most often women would say ooh how nice that guy is..BUT...and choose the jerk cause of the challenge. We have no answer for it, no one has, if a grl is good looking and nice...well frankly speaking me including most guys i know would not push her away. There are exceptions everywhere of course, but i believe that this is the general run of things. And just for realism's sake...nice ppl don't always get the last laugh and find the person of their dreams....life isn't always fair and we should know it. The best thing we can do is adapt , accept ourselves and find fulfillment...the rest follows.

Realism , always! better being blunt in advice. Lets leave the romance to the novels, and tv. If i need sound advice i prefer if ppl told me what they really thought of the matter rather than loads of bullshit, sugary coatings and conflicting philosophical theories. this applies especially to love. life, (especially love issues) is usually not as complex as we make it, we try to make it complex just to be able to accept things better, so an honest black on white opinion which avoids subsidiary issues and hits the nail on the head is always appreciated.

A message for all you guys out there Just because a grl has a pretty face and and awesome body does not entitle her to treat you like filth. HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT GUYS, at the end of the day we don't want a serious relationships with bimbos, gold diggers, or nut cases. these ppl are just there for the fun of it, they use and should just be used back, no mercy, no pity, cause they never showed any to us when we were daft enough to forgive, forget, and treat them with the respect, and dignity which they did not deserve. So hold your heads up, your pride first! running after them and howling a mixture of abuse, self pity, love declerations and promises of a better future together will never get you anywhere. Just pull up your socks and focus on your OWN life. Find your self esteem outside a relationship, try to be better people, but better still, learn to accept yourselves as you are, and don't let your mercenery X gf's lead you by the nose. as many other contributors pointed out before, if they love you , and you always treated them with respect, they will come back. If they don't, then just walk away, throw away the photos, letters, numbers, and start afresh. thats the best way, and in the long run, the only way.

STOP BEING A NICE GUY MAN! you're too nice, that's you r fault...sounds twisted? well who said that life isn't ..this is the best pice of advice you can get. you did too much for her.

To put it simply..YES..QUIT. she's messing up with you dude. Its again the typical steriotype situation of the unsecure grl. if you remain friends she'll just start telling you stuff about her new bf..about how much fun they had together..you'll be her augony aunt, and he'll have all the fun..if you catch my drift.... And then one day if it works out, either with him or with someone else, you will get introduced as her nice sweet X...who;se her best friend..and then you'll have to shake her new bf's hand, and fake a smile, whilst what you really feel like doing is punching his face in. Do you wanna be another Saint nice guy? There's no feast or public holiday in your honour waiting for ya man!! Tell her..i have enough friends, i really don't need an insecure looser like you, and just turn you back on her, go out with friends, party, and take more care about yourself. QUIT phoning her/messaging her etc. I passed through your situation man, this is sound advice. Its long term advice, it will bear its fruits, because as much as they tell you to the contrary, no grl respects a guy with no pride and self esteem. running after her woun't get you anywhere, and she balances nice words with reality(she wants to dump you) for 2 reasons 1) to feel better about it, and 2) to lead you on. grls aren't like us in these situations, if she made up her mind, then unless you play cool there's little chance of getting her back...being nice guy will only make you loose the little pride you have left! Take care dude

In life we are all free to take decisions. No one should hinder this freedom. YET each decision brings about consequences. your gf decided, she evaluated, and chose it this way. what is your decision now? I don't believe that you should try stopping her cause someday she might blame you for a whole range of things if you do so. Just tell her what you really feel and also , as always watch yr back. six months is a long time, yet its not that long so as for you two to grow apart from each other, thereforeeeeeee it is not impossible to keep it up. Try accepting however that it will be hard and that something might go wrong between you. Besides how much do you trust her? how much are you willing to put up with this? will it repeat itself or is it just a sporadic event? italians say, 'patti chiari amicizia lungha' this in my opinion applies to all range of relationships. try not to pressure your gf, but see what you really want and if anything try to find a compromise.

The same thing all over again eh? some things don't change, one of these is human nature. I passed through exactly the same things as you guys, and i guess the problem is basically the same. When u date an insecure grl and she dumps you you always get this strange phenomenon. some call it conflicting signals, others call it part if the game of love... i call it selfishness. They want someone new, challenging, thrilling, yet they don't want to loose their 'nice guy bf' The jerk new bf gets to have all the fun, and you get all those weird, conflicting phonecalls from her late at night. Solution? play it cool, don't give second chances, if she wants them she'll know how to get them from you, and not through useless words, but through action! like dumping the jerk and coming over to you.

A message for all you guys out there Just because a grl has a pretty face and and awesome body does not entitle her to treat you like filth. HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT GUYS, at the end of the day we don't want a serious relationships with bimbos, gold diggers, or nut cases. these ppl are just there for the fun of it, they use and should just be used back, no mercy, no pity, cause they never showed any to us when we were daft enough to forgive, forget, and treat them with the respect, and dignity which they did not deserve. So hold your heads up, your pride first! running after them and howling a mixture of abuse, self pity, love declerations and promises of a better future together will never get you anywhere. Just pull up your socks and focus on your OWN life. Find your self esteem outside a relationship, try to be better people, but better still, learn to accept yourselves as you are, and don't let your mercenery X gf's lead you by the nose. as many other contributors pointed out before, if they love you , and you always treated them with respect, they will come back. If they don't, then just walk away, throw away the photos, letters, numbers, and start afresh. thats the best way, and in the long run, the only way.