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MisterPoppy

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  1. I sent a simple introduction message to a girl on MySpace. She replied with a simple hello and introduction and that was the end of it. Last week, she messaged me again saying that she hadn't heard from me along with some general chit-chat. I responded and I requested her MSN Messenger ID. We talked for a while and after a couple of days our chatting turned very flirty. We stayed up all night chatting on a couple occasions. Now she's calling me and she even introduced the idea that we send emails to each other every day with 20 random things about ourselves, which I committed myself to doing. We seem to be hitting it off very well, but I am well aware that that doesn't necessarily guarantee we would face to face. She has dated a lot of guys before and is very fond of kissing, flirting, cuddling, etc. (Who isnt?) I, myself, am relatively new to the dating world. I've only dated one girl seriously, and a handful of girls who I had no chemistry with. This girl is a challenge. She definitely knows how to use push and pull, but I can see by particular remarks, that she has a genuine interest in me. She is also extremely intelligent and seems to be very femenistic. Daunting, yet intriguing and very attractive. We have discussed my flying out to visit her. (Flying is my second nature because I can fly for free (mom works for SWA), so it would be very easy. She agrees and we're looking for correlating gaps in our schedules to plan am all-day date. So, my concern. What can I do to keep her interest? I know women want things they can't have 100 times more, but I don't know how to go about this. I want to keep her interest level peaked until I meet her, which probably won't be for a few more weeks. It's funny because I really like her already. How do I get her to feel the same way about me (whether she already does or doesn't)? I feel like I'm showing her too much interest, which can be dangerous. I don't think ignoring her for a few days would help...Maybe make her jealous? I don't know. I just want to get this right. She wants to "compare notes" about what we think of each other tomorrow. I am tempted to say, oh, you're so awesome and I can't wait to meet you...I want to meet you right now. But that might be giving her the upper hand. What should I say as not to sound desparate, while maintaining her interest? I also don't want to sound as if I'm being too serious about this whole fling (potential relationship) even though I really am. She's done a very good job maintaining a light view of this whole thing, but our progression is evidence that is is potentially a serious thing. I'm also curious as to whether she is interested in a genuine relationship or a boy toy. Any ideas? Advice? Thanks. I just want to make sure I'm not being too easy for her.
  2. So, I was sitting in my college art class waiting for class to begin when this very cute girl walks in with her friend. I didn't really notice her the last class session because I just saw the back of her head. Anyway, I notice that she's *noticing me. She sits down with her friend, who she always sits with and sort of positions herself facing me. Anyway, a few minutes into class, I look down at her and she's looking at me. I glanced away. After class, I came up walking beside her in the hall and she crashed right into someone...she wasn't watching where she was going. The next class session, I don't even really look at her, just when she's not looking. Which, I know is dumb, but it seems like I totally ignore the girls I'm attracted to. I'd like to walk up to her and say, hi, I'm Tim, but it's not that easy...her friend would probably look at me like I'm from Jupiter. How do I go about getting her to notice that I'm taking interest in her without being su blunt? If being blunt is the only option, then I don't have much of a choice... It would be convenient if her friend were to be sick one day...then I would sit next to her.
  3. After going on two dates with a girl, I realized that I wasn't feeling any chemistry between us. She liked me a lot and the attraction and chemistry had always been there for her. Anyway, last night I basically told her that we should go our separate ways and break all contact because being just friends probably wouldn't work out. Well, after thinking about it, I realized that I had made a mistake and that her friendship means more to me than I thought. I apologized and she accepted, but she's hesitant to give me a second chance. I don't blame her. I was just scared and confused...but I know I don't want to lose her... What should I do to re-establish our relationship? She said she needs time to think about her life, etc. Should I back off and wait for her to be ready?
  4. I did tell her that I felt no chemistry between us. She wants to give it time...so that maybe I eventually will, but I don't think that will happen. The last girl I dated wanted to be friends, but I was head over heels for her and I wasn't about to give up (when I should have). We got close and then she dropped me out of her life for someone else (who she obviously had chemistry for). It really, really hurt and I wish I think ending everything between us before we got close would have been best. So, I told Ashley that we should go our separate ways. It's really hard because she told me that guys will tell her she's special, then drop her out of their lives...now I'm doing the same thing. There is a part of me that really wants to remain friends with her -- give it a chance, but I think I may just be prolonging the inevitable (that nothing will ever happen between us, despite her optimism). I feel really bad, but I hope I'm making the best decision.
  5. I took a certain girl on a date and we had a lot of fun, however it was obvious that she was attracted to me. I took her on a second date and it became apparent that she was interested in a relationship. However, although she is very attractive, there is no chemistry. She's a great person, but I don't think I will ever have strong feelings for her like she does for me. So, my question is: Given the circumstances, is a "just friends" relationship possible, or should we go our separate ways? This is very important and I really need help. I want to make the best decision. Also, do most people feel the chemistry right off the bat? In other words, can one usually tell on the first or second if a relationship is going to work? Or, does it take time?
  6. Tell me I did the right thing by telling her we should go our separate ways, meaning no more contact. We could attempt to be friends, but I doubt that would have worked... I just want what's best for both of us.
  7. She and I both want to spend more time together (as friends), but I'm afraid she may become more and more attached to me...and that may be hard on her (knowing that I don't have the same feelings for her that she has for me). Of course, if we don't see each other any more, that would hurt her too... This is a tough situation.
  8. I'm thinking it might possibly be the age... She just turned 18 last month. I had no problem dating the girl in December (who just turned 20). Ashley, and the other girl I dated were both just 18. Do girls change a lot from 17/18 to 19/20? If so, how? And how might this affect my ability to have a relationship with them?
  9. It's better to be safe than sorry...as much as I know she would like me to cuddle with her, hold hands with her...kiss her, I can't. I don't want to give her false hopes because hurting her is the last thing I want to do. If I am going to do any of those things I need to be sure I have feelings for her...and as far as I am concerned, right now, I don't. I started dating a girl back in December and I fell really hard for her (really hard). She was all I could think about. Then things kind of tapered off...and she didn't want a relationship. It was hard. I don't know if that has anything to do with it. I'm over her. Ashley, the girl I am talking about - her boyfriend (who she planned on marrying) broke up with her last week...so that may play a part in this as well. I felt the same empty feeling for the last girl I dated. I think I just need time alone...just friendships. I'm still young (only 19). I needen't burden my life with all this drama.
  10. I met a really great girl. She is extremely cute and she is such a sweetheart. We went on our second date yesterday and she has fallen hard (and fast) for me. As much as I I have tried, I don't have any strong feelings for her. I wish I could, cause she is great...I don't know what is wrong with me. I told her, and we're going to be friends and let love (if it exists or ever will between us) come naturally... Does anyone have any idea what is wrong with me? I am attracted to her, but the chemistry just isn't there...I suppose it's that simple...when you find the one you love, you'll know. Does it take more time?
  11. I just read this about women and body language: "Guys - be aware if a girl is showing you her wrists or her neck. For some odd reason, this is a really good sign. Don't ask me, but if she's flipping her hair and tilting her head to the same side (showing her neck), you can be sure you're doing well." "Many women play with or flip their hair when talking to a man they find attractive. Using both hands to "comb" up the back of their hair with their fingers is often a major sign of attraction." "If your date is smiling, staring at you and brushing her hair with her fingers, that is an awesome sign. This means that the girl is trying to sort of impress you with an obvious beauty. Her movement is also supposed to grab your attention." When I drove her home last night, I noticed that she kept doing that! She kep pulling her hair over, around her neck, leaving her neck exposed...she was playing with her hair a lot, too...And she was laughing at all my corny jokes. If I see her tonight, I'm going to try to cuddle with her, and if the time is right, kiss her on her forhead...or cheek...see how she reacts. I've kissed her on the cheek before, before we kissed on the lips, and I called it a friendship kiss. I'll say, it's your fault...(because she's so cute, or something...). "If your date or someone of the opposite sex is playing with their fingers while looking at you, it means they want to hold your hand but they're too nervous." Woah! Last night, we didn't cuddle (for the first time in a long time)...it sucked...I wanted to, but I feel awkward...I just need to not hold back... Anyway, it sounded like she was text-messaging on her phone under the covers last night, until she reached for her phone in her purse. She was playing with her fingernails...Hmmm...
  12. Yes, the door is still open in terms of a future-relationship. She's waiting for her high school sweetheart who is away from home for two years. I don't see why I can't try to change her mind...
  13. B says: i almost kissed you tonight T says: Really? I almost kissed YOU! T says: I came so close... B says: oh... how sweet B says: i wanted to... i really did but i don't htink i'm ready yet T says: Yeah, it's cool. T says: Don't worry about it. T says: There's a mystere looming in the air. B says: i know... but still! it's hard to control myself B says: you're so dang cute This is an IM conversation we had after we decided to be friends, with the possibility of us being "more than friends" in the future. Later that week, me being confused about our relationship, we discussed our relationship. She agreed that we act like a couple...and she was hoping that wouldn't become a problem, but it did, for me...because it's hard to know what I can or cannot do (kissing, etc...) So, ever since I talked to her about this, it's like we're back to square one. Not seeing as much of each other, no holding hands, cuddling, kissing...etc...It's just awkward... I miss it...and I kind of feel like I conveyed to her that we shouldn't kiss...when, if I had waited, she might have been "ready"... What do you think? Should I let her intitiate physical interaction, or should I? I think she may have the impression that we need to back off, when really...I don't want things to change, well, I did...but for the good...things haven't really gotten any better...
  14. MetallicAguy... I think that's exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you. You made me laugh, by the way. This is definitely a good learning experience. I not only learn about her and relationships in general...I learn a lot about myself. Oh, and the push/pull thing. I've worked that the whole time! I'll pretend not to like her and make fun of her in a playful way...sit on the other side of the room...that stuff. It's fun... And about the sexual tension...she get's that easily...it will be interesting to see how I can use that to my advantage.
  15. A girl and I became very close (romantically) - just kissing. She has stong feelings for someone else who has been gone for a year and won't be back for another year. She decided we can't be "together" because she wants to remain loyal to this other guy. I dated her knowing this, but in hopes that she would fall in love for me. She's only known me for a couple of months. I think I still have a chance with her. Should I: A. Maintain the same relationship we had before. Calling each other and hanging out a lot. B. Let her call the shots. Wait for her to call me. Wait for her to ask to hang out. Give us both time to reflect, but mainly for her to realize who I am to her. C. Like A, but keeping our contact to a minimum. I hope I will hear from some people who have had experience with this, and knows which methods work and which don't.
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