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About lightwelter

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  1. Yep I am moving out at the end of the week. The lease is in her name. She comes back from her parents today, so we will see how next week goes.
  2. Thanks all. To be honest, things have been complicated by the fact that she has been feeling depressed recently. She doesnt know exactly why she feels this way, and it could be because of the fact she's going into her last year of medicine, problems with her friends here, or because of how she feels about the two of us. In response to the above questions, she does want to date but just live seperately. I want to be there for her and help with what she's going through, but also I don't want to be strung along. If the problems that her and I were having at the moment were an isolated inceden
  3. Hello. I wanted to make this thread, partly for myself to put words down about how I feel, and to hear others opinions if they have any. I have lived together with my girlfriend in an apartment for the last ~9 months. She is going into her last year as a medical student. She has asked me to move out the apartment for 2 reasons; 1) she will be studying non-stop next year, so wants her own space, 2) she has been feeling very down recently, and doesn't know why. She thinks she might love me less than she did before (her own words). I don't really know what to think. I have recognised that
  4. I'm not sure where you're getting "continue" from as this isn't something that's been going on for a long time. The reason is, though, that it's difficult to let go of a person that you once thought the world of and was the most important thing in your life, even if only for a relatively short period. Thank you to you and everyone for the advice. I messaged her to say I can't keep up with the friendship, as it feels like she comes to me for support and comfort and it's only really a one way thing, she doesn't genuinely respect or value me. She said okay and apologised. Sometimes I wish
  5. I've posted on here before about a previous break-up I had a few months back now. All in all it was an incredibly painful experience, one of the lowest I've felt in my life. I've been better since and have achieved a good amount since the break up, but I still feel pain every day. She still gets in touch, around once a week, maybe more. Most of the time it's when she's stressed or upset about various things. Now I don't harbour any hopes of rekindling the relationship, it's impossible because I've moved away and there was far too much pain, and she's moved on to someone else anyways. W
  6. Thanks all. In a way I'm glad I found out, because as someone said above, this is the worst bombshell that could be dropped on me and so it can't really get any worse from here. The painful and very sudden nature of the break up still haunts me, but for the most part I'm doing a lot better and feel stronger now than I was beforehand. I definitely agree with the whole not trying to run from the pain, just acknowledging it is there and riding through it. That's the part that has made me stronger. Thankfully I'm moving to France (from the UK) in 3 months, so have a hell of a lot to look forwa
  7. Today I got that gut-wrenching, horrible news that my ex girlfriend, who I'm still in love with, has found someone new. It's a horrible feeling, particularly as part of the reason she gave me for wanting to end the relationship was that she was not sexually attracted to me, which as you can imagine is a hard thing to hear and doesn't do much for your self confidence. I'm going through the motions at the moment and understand that it'll take a few days to get past these horrible thoughts, and the inevitable feelings of inadequacy. But I'm wondering if people could share their experiences or
  8. Yep I can attest to this. My ex broke up with me in December when she was away home for Christmas. After a few weeks of arguing and me telling her this was the wrong decision, we were great together etc, I cut her off completely. A week or two later she came back to me, telling me she missed me, wasn't over me etc. We got back together for around 4 months and then she went away for 8 weeks, and the exact same thing happened (I was absolutely crushed and still am, posted about it a few weeks ago). That being said we had an amazing 4 months so I don't really regret taking her back much, it's jus
  9. Thanks all, very good advice. Maybe I didn't react well but I do think it was natural for me to get emotional given that someone I loved deeply had suddenly had a change of heart for the second time. It's a shame when there is clearly a bond here, but we can't be friends after this because she's said things that have been too damaging. Really grateful for the supportive comments.
  10. I posted on here a few weeks ago after my ex girlfriend broke up with me, something I'm very much still trying to come to terms with. The relationship broke down while she was away travelling in Africa for 8 weeks. After about 1 week of being away, I could tell her tone had changed, and I knew I was losing her. Prior to her leaving, we were in a seemingly perfect position, very "loved up". This was the second time in our relationship that she had suddenly ended things in our prime. When she went home for Christmas, the same thing happened, she suddenly felt different and ended things. Abou
  11. It will end, you won't feel like this forever. I'm going through the exact same thing right now, and what I thought was the love of my life, the most gorgeous perfect girl I ever met, suddenly ended it, in quite a horrible way. It's an awful feeling and can lower self-esteem and your sense of self-worth, but like others have said, the best thing to do is to try and help yourself. It's ok to think about them, it's ok to think about the great times you have, it's ok to remember the intimacy, there's no point trying to battle that and you have to try and move through it, not around it. Like o
  12. Yep, as much as I'd like to think she wasn't putting the feelers out, she was initiating pretty much every message, he sent her a song and she replied saying "this song always reminds me of you", all of it looked like she was indeed putting the feelers out. That's why I think he told her he was back with his ex, to get her to back off. She said she was messaging him because they were really good friends, he had donated money towards her fundraising for the trip away. But then so did a lot of people, so did a lot of friends. I think that putting out the feelers towards an ex whilst still in a r
  13. Yep, you're probably right. She has another year in the same city as me, but she wants to go off and travel and see the world. I agree with what you say in regards to losing sight of what we have when I'm not around. It's hard because I miss her intensely, while she barely missed me at all (even if that was because I became needy). There is a part of me that thinks, who knows what could have been if I hadn't messaged her at all while she was away. Maybe she would have missed me, maybe things would have been ok, and so in that sense I regret how I acted, even if I feel she initiated and exa
  14. I don't think that's what's going to happen. He's with someone else, but they have always been good friends and they only had a short relationship. I miss-read the situation with those two, but in anyone's eyes the message she sent made it look like she still had feelings. He messaged her saying, I'm back with my ex now, she replied saying "my loss". Weeks later she said that what she meant was that because he was back with his ex, who holds something against her, they won't be able to be friends anymore, hence the "my loss". I do trust her when she says that, because I never thought she is so
  15. Thanks for your reply and honestly. This has happened once before in our relationship. There has never been a time when we're together that things aren't perfect. It seems that when she leaves, that's when problems arise. Last Christmas, she went home for the holidays and the same thing happened. We had an argument, which was ultimately trivial, and she then changed her tone, which again made me freak out, and push her away further, a bit of a vicious cycle! The thing is, she came back to me after that episode. I shut her out and was trying to move on with my life, but she was very hones
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