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sivus123

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  1. I have been best friends with this girl, lets call her Kelly, for around 2 years. We became best friends in the first year of secondary school. I didn't have many problems in that first year. In the second year, I realised that she had changed, in a bad way. I don't know whether to not be friends with her. Her behaviour is horrible. For example, I always feel isolated from others. This is because, and I am not exaggerating, whenever i talk to someone else for a couple seconds, I turn back to Kelly and she makes that face and says "Oh i see, you've found new friends." She says she's 'joking' and its just for fun but its not. Its annoying. I have lots of other friends and i talk to them lots but she will droan on about how she thinks I like them more, or ill leave her for them etc. And she gets angry. But then Kelly denies that she is angry, and denies that she doesn't want me to talk to anyone else when really she doesn't want me to. She gets mad extremely easily. For example, if we're playing a game and I'm on the other team, and i target her, she'll get angry. If i talk to someone else, she'll get angry. Every move i make, she gets angry. But she denies that she is. When she's angry, she'll do a variety of things, like staying silent, muttering things under her breath like 'I should just shut up because no one likes me' as you can see she's very passive aggressive. She's also very aggressive. She comes out of a lesson after a teacher kept them in or something, and she will come out swearing and shouting, acting like its funny but its not. She's moody, rude, unhappy, unmotivating and VERY negative. She tends to focus on the negative sides of things all the time. When we meet everyday for school, she'll start with 'Ughhh!! I don't want to do maths today' throughout the day she'll keep saying negative things. We get into a lot of arguments. Every time they are about something stupid that she started like the fact that I looked at her weird in 1st period. She gets offended by everything and makes them such a big deal. After arguments, I'm the one feeling guilty, and apologetic. I always say sorry and she doesn't. When she does, its a sort of 'feel bad for me' sorry. She never lets me speak and arguments are always about her. My feelings are neglected. She's a master manipulator. She makes me feel guilty for EVERYTHING. she feels sorry for herself all the time. She makes people feel sympathetic for her for no reason. Like she'll say 'sorry' in a really unbelievable way so that ill say back; "You don't need to be sorry." I feel emotionally drained after spending one day around her. She reacts poorly to criticism. I will say one thing that she does that annoys me, and shell keep silent and be secretly annoyed all day. She'll make ME feel guilty for something she has done that is irritating. Sometimes I have no idea how she wants me to act. The other day, Kelly got mad at me and went on a 45 minute rant about some tiny irrelevant things. Things i do, she criticises. She'll say 'ew' and make fun of me. She'll show others and laugh. She also acts completely different around other friends. Kelly complains to me about how people don't talk to her. I always tell her she needs to engage herself. If someone doesn't hear her once, she'll sit there in a grump, silent until i ask her whats wrong. When i do, she denies it. Then i speak to someone else, and she instantly assume that 'I hate her' and gets annoyed. Its dumb because if you want people to talk to you, don't just sit silently. She isn't happy for my successes. Ill do something well, or discover something i can do, and she says 'I could never do that.' "You make me feel so insecure" While my other friends are congratulating me. She just complains. She restricts me. I can't join clubs, sit with other people, talk to other people, be someones else partner for once. If i chose to be someone else partner, all hell would break loose. She would again, ignore me silently, expecting me to sort things out. Then send me so many voice messages each about 5 minutes long about how she felt. She's always jealous. I envy other peoples friendships because i wish i was that happy with my best friend. She's never happy. Her life is dull and she never goes outside or does anything fun and or productive. She's not brave, which is okay, but it restricts me. She won't let me do things i want to do. We act weird around each other, but its not myself. She made me that way. When i act normal, like myself, she says 'ew' or 'why are you being normal'. So i can't be myself around her. I can't have a mature conversation about how i feel about her. Again, all hell would break loose. She would have a mental breakdown, which i try to help her with but it doesn't improve our relationship. I feel trapped in this relationship. But she still makes me laugh. I feel as though i can't drift from her. She is so attatched to me. I don't exactly have other best friends. I have other close friends but I would feel alone. She doesn't have that many friends besides from me. If i left her, she'd tell everyone i was a horrible person. She'd make herself look like the victim even though she's been poisoning my life. I love her as a person but i want to do my own thing. Before secondary school, i was happy, motivated and positive. Kelly has drained me emotionally and of all happiness. Someone please give me some advice about this girl and what to do.
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