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Apprentice (3/14)

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  1. I was very happy before she came back. Even got to the point that I was genuinely glad that she had found someone that made her happy - or so I thought at the time. Since she reached out my heads been all twisted around, so I just need to get back to where I was a few weeks ago.
  2. Thank you everyone who offered your thoughts. We’ve had sporadic communication the past few weeks, kind of hot and cold. I put an end to it when I told her that I’m not interested in being her friend. Said that if we both find ourselves in a better position to reconnect down the line that’s something that we could talk about, but it can’t and won’t happen right now and I’m not going to put my life on hold waiting for her. She was upset but understands. I feel better already.
  3. Fast forward about 2 months after the breakup to when I found out she had a new boyfriend already. That crushed me, but I was determined to move on and I did. Cut all ties completely. Met new women, dated a good bit even had a few short term relationships. Improved myself mentally, physically and emotionally to the point where I genuinely wanted her to be happy, no matter who it was with. This past week she reached out to me to tell me that her dog had died a few months back. Short conversation where I basically just told her that I’m sorry for her loss ensued. Then last night another message saying how she wishes she didn’t mess things up so badly, how she wants to be better and learn from her mistakes and how much she misses and admires me. Never explicitly said she wants to get back, but there are some pretty strong indicators. Thing is, she still has that boyfriend. Sounds like she was basically pushed into a rebound relationship that has turned into something more, but she’s not happy with it at all. Described it as “tumultuous with lots of anger and tears as of late”. She’s repeatedly mentioned that it’s not a healthy relationship and she’s not sure what the future holds there. I’d be open to the idea of reconnecting at this point, but I’m not married to the idea. Honestly, part of me thinks that she really just needs to be on her own for a while to actually work on herself, but I think she’s scared to be alone. How do I proceed? I legitimately just want her to be happy, but a part of me definitely wants another crack at it because of the intense connection that we shared...and on some level at least, still seem to share.
  4. Well that didn’t take long...only been a few days and she’s already reached out with what I can only assume are some breadcrumbs with a text about a tv show we’d been talking about last week. Do I just keep it friendly but short? How do I avoid falling into the friend zone here? I thought it would be a while before I heard from her, if at all.
  5. Oh for sure. I’m especially sympathetic to her situation since I just recently went through the same thing. Just bad timing I guess.
  6. Definitely not gonna let myself fall into the friend zone, I know enough to not let that happen. Or at least not do anything to make it more likely to happen. Having never been the rebound guy (to my knowledge anyway), I just wasn’t sure if this was an inescapable situation along the lines of being friend zoned, which is why I asked here. I’m gonna put some distance between us, give her the space to figure her stuff out and go on living my life. Maybe we can reconnect down the road, maybe not. But we got along so well that it’s just one of those situations that I’d like another crack at under different circumstances.
  7. Some quick backstory - I recently started dating a girl that I previously knew casually through a mutual friend of ours. Said mutual friend has been wanting to get us together for some time now, but the timing was never right since we were never both available at the same time. We first started talking about 6-7months ago when I was fresh out of a long term relationship - but not being ready to seriously date yet and not wanting her to just be a rebound, I didn’t pursue. While I worked on getting my self back into a good place she got into a relationship herself, that ended very badly. She reached out to me and we started to date. I didn’t know the circumstances of her breakup or the exact timeline until just recently, but our first date was only a week or 2 after the end of her previous relationship. Over the course of a month we went out a few times, and things were really going great. I met her family, she met mine and we were having a lot of fun together. Then last week she tells me that despite all of this, she wasn’t ready to date yet because she hasn’t given herself time to heal from the breakup, even though she badly wanted to be. Totally understandable, it wasn’t too long ago that I was in the exact same place so I knew where she was coming from. What I can’t figure out is if I was the rebound or did she not want me to become the rebound? I’m not going to chase her, and I’m not going to put my life on hold and wait for her, but is there any chance of resuming what we had if our paths connect down the road? Or have I been relegated to being the rebound guy and that’s it?
  8. I know that, but it’s still hard to hear her say I would do this intentionally to hurt her. We’ve had our issues and even though we’re not right for one another, I still wouldn’t do anything to hurt her on purpose. Sure it does.
  9. Well it’s good to know I’m not the only one at least! Apparently, using that picture is the worst thing I’ve ever done (she literally told me this). Up until recently, I would’ve been absolutely willing to go to counseling together and learn to communicate with each other better. In fact, I would’ve insisted on it. But I think that ship has sailed now. I still don’t like the idea of blocking anyone’s number (other than telemarketers and known scam numbers), so I’ll try to do what you did and use these outbursts as lessons. She thinks I did this on purpose and with the intent to hurt her...when in truth she wasn’t on my mind at all when I set up that profile, just the opposite actually. And since she hasn’t been a part of my life for 3 months, I didn’t consider how she would react if she saw it.
  10. Honestly, it hadn’t even occurred to me when people were saying to block her that they meant her phone number, I was thinking they meant block her on the app...bit of a brain fart! As for blocking numbers, it’s not something I usually do just because it makes me feel childish and petty, but sure seems like the best course of action at this point.
  11. And now I get another snarky text about ignoring her since I didn’t respond lol...can’t win!
  12. Don’t think there’s any blocking involved, it’s just a swiping app (so I swiped left when I saw her on ther lol). But the picture is down and I’m just gonna drop it, no desire to get into an argument with her anyway. Thanks again.
  13. Thanks for the advice everyone, I appareciate it - I’ve decided to take the picture down. Do I even acknowledge the text and respond? Or just take it down and lay the issue to rest?
  14. Good points, I hadn’t looked at it from that perspective. Although that question has come up with girls I’ve met on there, it hasn’t seemed to be an issue.
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