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About Sonap

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  1. Hello, I am new to this website. Just like many of you, I was looking for help to deal with my recent breakup. My boyfriend ended our relationship last week. I finally started no contact. His reasons were it was not working for him and he can't commit to me. We were happy. We had our ups and downs but I always thought that love can conquer all. He didn't believe in that. So he left me. We work together. But I was able to change my schedule to alternate days so I don't have to face him. A part of me is so embarrassed that I was left like an unwanted trash, I can't face him. I was there fo
  2. Cubbybear isn't the mark of progress is when I don't think of him? Right now one min I am up one min I am down, he is on my mind constantly. I don't want waste another min thinking about him but he is there living in my mind. I find myself justifying my every move and thought. This is so exhausting. I am exhausted.
  3. Its Friday again. I should be excited about summer weekends but now I just have to fill my time with activities so I don't sit around and think. I woke up this morning and called two friends to plan an outing this weekend. After I was done chatting with them, I asked myself am I having a breakup episode where I am full of energy and want to keep moving as fast as I can so I won't realize that something inside of me is broken? I am not crying much this week. Which is odd for me because I am very emotional person. Maybe it is because after 16 months of been dragged around, I finally got the ver
  4. BTW I love how honest we all are here with our feelings. We can admit our flaws, weaknesses and shortcomings. That takes courage. Trust me if this is rock bottom then we all have no other option but to come up from here.
  5. Very true oscarisking. The hot and cold behavior is the worst. I remember one day right after the breakup, he bought flowers for me and I was so over the moon thinking that he still loves me and this is going to work and the next day he yell at me because I was trying to hold his hand in public. We are not teenagers. We both are in our thirties but I got lecture from him like I am a child. One min he will show that he cares so much and the other min I was the worst thing that ever happened to him. I have been on the roller coaster ride and it is not a good place. So all those people (includi
  6. I guess the common theme here is that we want the person who hurt us reach out to us. We are not hoping that they take us back but we are hoping that they validate us. In the end we don't want to feel rejected. I guess we have to distract ourselves until we longer think about them. No matter how long it takes. Meanwhile they can move forward without much guilt. Who said life was fair.
  7. god it is so unfair for us to spend out precious time on our ex. Why do they get to live their life and we have pick up the broken pieces.
  8. This is depressing and sad that we all have to go thru this for months. It's like we are getting punish for loving another person.
  9. Thank you for the encouragement. I will not break NC. I am learning a lot from everyone experiences here. One step a time I will move forward. Join a gym call Orangetheory. Will start this Saturday. Need to find things to keep me occupied. Thinking about going back to school to get my masters degree this year.
  10. Thank you CubbyBear. I don't know how am I still functioning. I appreciate your advice. Don't know what is worst? To hear from him or to not hear from him ?. God why is life so messed up ? I was reading your other posts and I can sense your pain and agony. How are you still able to think in such a logic way. I made such a fool of myself. I can't began to describe you. He broke up with me 16 months ago but he still kept his one foot in the relationship and one foot out. I helped him feel better about his first break up decision in this 16 months. How stupid can I be? I know I let him drag m
  11. I am on my fourth day of total NC. I know it is nothing compare to some people on this site. I have listen to countless YouTube videos about NC and read thousands of article on this topic. I do agree that it is a best way to move forward and heal. God knows this is true in my case as well. A part of me wants to know that if he is Ok but I would never pick up my phone and reach out. I wish I can brag here that I am so strong. But the truth is I am embarrass. The day he told me he does not want to be with me and he think we don't work as a couple. I called him so many times and emailed him to pl
  12. Melancholy love your post. Don't you wish we can love ourselves as much as we love our ex.
  13. Cubbybear I do believe u have a big heart. I read your post to other people and you do have kind words for everyone here. I hope your find your inner peace soon. I hate to see so many people hurting on this site.
  14. Why are you feeling down. We are here to listen to you if want.
  15. Let's end the day on a positive note. How about we all post here all the good qualities about ourselves? Let me start first. I am emotional and kind. I like to help people whenever I can.
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