agonia

Exactly. And his choice of "restaurant" is remarkable. Few hours after our conversation an unknown foreign number of a country right next to mine called me. It happened to be his dad who asked me to join them on their family hacienda next weekend and didn't forget to apologize for his son's behavior, stating that from time to time he is very busy and stressed with his work and even happened to forget his manners while communicating with his parents. Thank you for your cordial wish for a good luck, but it has nothing to do with luck. Anyone gets what he/she dares to ask for. With the right person, of course. Btw sth = something

Who said that secretaries deserve less respect? Where did you read it in my post? In your culture do you cover reading comprehension as a mandatory subject in primary school? I suggested him that with a secretary would be easier for him from the point of view of the complexity our situation. I.e. who we both are. Which I am not going to go into detailed explanations here, but yep - lots of secretaries, administravite staff and employees are doing their best get our attention and even flirt with us on a daily basis.

Big thanks to anyone who participated in this discussion. My 6th sense that him reappearing in my social media might mean that he'd approach me de nouveu didn't lie to me. I just didn't expect this to happen so quickly. He just called me and actually I am still laughing to myself. Dinner invitation. I asked him was there anything specific that he'd like to discuss with me while dining. He said no and clarified that he was asking me on a date. I said that before replying to his invitation I have two questions that I'd like him to answer if it was ok with him. It was ok. The first one was how was his past month, was he healthy, any problems, anything unusual. Said No. Everything was ok with him. The second question of course was why he deleted my reaction to his text. He started to apologize saying that it was stupid of him. I told him that there is no need to apologize, it was his decision and I was not blaming him, if possible I just wanted to know why. Because of the surprise that made him indecisive and having in mind the whole complexity of the situation. So I thanked him for his sincerity and told "Listen my friend, with complex people situations are complex. If you need sth easier there are plenty of secretaries who may even enjoy being censored and ghosted. With me it is a little bit different. I don't have time for dinners with men who are indecisive and are not sure if they like me or not but after a month during which nothing happened to you, I.e. you were not infected by covid, neither had any problem that may have kept you away from calling me - all of a sudden you decide hmmmm why not calling this chick, for sure she's sitting besides the phone and waiting for me." He started laughing saying that me behaving as a high value woman wouldn't make him give up on me but on the contrary - he'd do his best to correct his mistake and show me a totally different side of himself. Let us see what else he's got to show. However I am happy I already know for sure that his dog didn't delete my text with its paw accidentally. And from now on it is up to him do whatever he may see fit. My standards are high and will always be.

Thank you, @Batya33 for your attention and your time on my problem. As you may have noticed English is not my mother tongue and here we have traditions which are not a secret to anyone. One of them is great respect to women and their feelings. Saying that I mean it's not only my personal standart but a well known local standart. Which somebody decided that my personality doesn't worth applying those unwritten rules. As far as our former professional relationship (I say former on purpose because it is definitely over) - it is his loss, not mine. He was the one who needed my expertise and my contacts. So except being a lady I definitely think that he had to be more careful with me because of my position that have always been helpful to him, not vice versa.

Thank you @Wiseman2. Sounds reasonable.

Thank you. I have left him alone immediately after being censored. Before that the only step that I made towards him was the friend request in that social media. And I did it after he behaved friendly. I have never called him first. I have never initiated any of our chats first. Then after cutting me off in that unpleasant and disrespectful for me way, as of yesterday started to comment, like and react to all of my personal posts. Actually the reason for my initial question here was that him being reappeared all of a sudden makes me think that he'd call me for my birthday in several days as he always did. I am not wondering how to attract him. I was just wondering if I should answer him at all, just say a brief "thank you" or tell him directly that his behavior hurt me.

At that point we have already progressed beyond work relationship to some extent. I was not hoping anything. I just liked him and I wanted to show it to him. May be I was hoping for him to have better manners and no matter of what he'd think of my sign of affection, would answer as a gentleman. Actually he did appear as a gentleman before and that's why I had no hesitation of acting. Shortly, I expected an intelligent yes or no. As of between grown up people.

@MissCanuck being my professional contact did not bother him in the past having personal conversations with me, sharing his problems, commenting my personal posts. I did not cross the line first. He was the one to start behaving as a friend more than a an associate. Thank you for your answer although I did not ask for a clarification of the situation. It is clear to me and my question was for an advice how to proceed in the future having in mind his changing moods and obviously not meeting my standards not only for a bf, but for a friend at all. I only wanted to be sure if such a behavior worths my further explanation in order to avoid misunderstandings or not. Thank you.

Of course he doesn't have to report to me how he manages his texts, but as I stated above - he managed mine as well. He deleted it from my chat screen too. Which is rude and a real man having selfrespect and respect to myself would do it a more respectful and masculine way. For example - pls, I feel uncomfortable receiving such texts or sth like that. Not to mention that in similar situations I am way too caring for not hurting people's feelings and I usually say "I like you, I respect you, but I am not physically or emotionally interested in you. However knowing you (or you being my friend) is valuable for me and I hope it will not affect our friendship/working relationship/neighbor relationship. As I stated above as well - showing that you like someone is not an insult and it does not deserve rudeness as an answer. After all I didn't send my nudes or sext, but made a humble and polite gesture. However, thank you for your comment. No, I'm not going to block him. I'd just ignore his recently reappeared signs of attention. I need much more than that and as a minimum I need good manners at least. Same as mine.

Thanks. I don't care about loosing him as a professional contact. I'd just ignore him.

Thank you very much!

@Batya33 he did not insist. He just asked me "how much do I owe you?" and I answered "nothing, good luck". It was my way of showing him that I am not financially interested in him, but privately. However, I got your point. And even if I am overreacting indeed - it is me, I am vulnerable, kind and I pay attention to details. Details are important for me. And I want to show this too clearly at the very beginning. Not as some kind of a game, but to show who am I, what do I expect and whoever is not ok with my personality, just to stop bothering himself by contacting me or liking my posts. So my question was and still is should I tell him this directly or just ignore him.

@Batya33, yep, absolutely possible. He may have his reasons but I have been kind and I did not receive let's say a call on the next day saying "excuse me, I appreciate what you did for me, I appreciate your cordiality, but I had to remove this text because of my wife, coworker, dad, mom, gf or whoever". I was just been "censored" and shut up.

It was not an emoji, but a reaction to his text. We've been texting on Telegram. There is an option to react to someone's message not only with 👍 but with a heart as well. Unfortunately there is another option to delete your message not only for yourself, but for the recipient as well. So he did delete for both of us his "ok, thanks" and my ❤ reaction to it, but left intact the whole other chat. I don't think I am overreacting. We're not kids and the brave is obvious - I don't want this heart neither in my phone, nor in yours. I.e. I don't want to receive such texts from you. Which is Ok, but underlining again that we're not kids, I think that he could express it or even cut me off in a more polite way. Thank you very much for your time, @Rose Mosse

Hello, I like this guy for some time. We were seeing eachother on business purposes, texted on same purposes and it happened from time to time to exchange some friendly texts for holidays. I sent him a friend request on a social media which he accepted. He started liking my posts and commenting some of them again in a friendly way. For example wishing me a good vacation, sharing same point of view on my political posts etc. However I never flirted, neither did he. Then he called me to discuss with me an issue regarding his work and I helped him in solving it, not only with an advice but prepared a project that served him well. He proposed to pay me, I refused politely and wished him good luck in this new venture. While discussing some of the details of the project, he texted me "ok, thanks" and I spontaneously put a heart symbol not as a separate message, but as a reaction instead of thumb up symbol expressing "like". And he... deleted it both for himself and me. I felt very stupid, humiliated and bad but just kept quiet. So did he. It's been a month since than and now, all of a sudden, again he started liking and reacting to my posts. I don't like being treated that way by people whom I haven't hurt, neither abused. So my question is should I just ignore him if he approaches me, or confront him directly by saying that during our last conversation I was hurt by his rudeness which I don't think I deserve. Thanks.