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flower5

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  1. Yes, I also think that cautious is fine. However, he wasn't very pleased with me being cautious. He said that we should move forward, not backwards. And he also claimed that even though we have challenging communication, that that's just the beginning and we will get through it and everything will be fine. Those are just the beginning disagreements that will fade away once we get more comfortable with each other. But now he is saying a different thing, the fact that we come from opposing cultures and how that might impact our chances of being a successful couple. It's a bit of a surprise for me because we haven't talked about that as much before. The thing that he mostly emphasized is how I am picky with men and how I am looking for the next best thing. I don't know if he was referring to what he thinks my view is of him. We talked about different things, but the above mentioned in the first post are the main ones we discussed. I knew how he was and this was really easy for me to solve, but I ended up being flexible. Anyway, thanks everybody for your answers and help. :) I agree with all of you about me being incompatible with him.
  2. We know each other for several months. My saying that he spent time with me, but did not consider a relationship with me was a question for all of you. :) I mean if that was the actual case, but I do not know 100 percent that it was. That's what I was wondering about, if even though he felt the attraction for me, he never intended to be with me regardless of the fact that he did say that he is looking for a serious relationship and we did have serious conversations about it. But now the situation has changed. Or was the fact that I was a little bit cautious about starting anything with him affected his decision? Thanks for your answer. :)
  3. Thank you. This is such a good advice. I agree completely. :)
  4. That's what I thought and I asked him about it, but he said that I am off tracks that he doesn't like me. But we always say don't bother, move on, that's always the easiest thing to say and do. I am not trying to be with him, but yes, I would like to know the whys, it helps the learning process.
  5. You mean he made those comments because I was hesitant at the beginning? Yes, he made it seem like me being cautious is a big deal, like I am not a nice person.
  6. Thank you all very much for your replies. I agree with most of the points and those were the things that I was thinking myself as well. I just want to state that he and I are actually the same race, just different nationalities, quite similar nationalities exactly; however, right now he thinks that there are some cultural differences and customs that divide us and that we would not be able to agree on in the future. He also mentioned that he loves me and that he wants me to be happy and that means being with a man from my culture of origin. At the beginning though one of the reasons he said he likes me is because of my culture so I am left confused. I know that he likes me, there is a strong attraction between us and there are things that he likes about me, I know. I just feel, considering how it all turned out, that he might have not been completely honest with me because he spent time with me, but did not consider a relationship with me and him right now talking about us not being compatible are just excuses? Or it might be because I was a little bit cautious about starting a relationship with him?
  7. I was wondering if you could provide me with some insight on the following. He was very interested from the very beginning; however, I was a little bit hesitant at the beginning due to our different communication styles. We had a hard time understanding each other. He is a black and white kind of personality, very straightforward in what he thinks and also very traditional, which was not something that I am accustomed to or something that I am looking for, so I wasn't certain how truly compatible we would be if we ever got into a relationship. At the same time, during our getting to know each, he mentioned that I am picky with men and how I should open my horizons and be more open to different kinds of men and not just the men that I am interested in. I don't know why he said that as I do not think like that and I never mentioned that in our conversations. More ever, whenever we would talk about that, I would try to explain to him that that is not the way it is, but he would not listen and he continued to mention that. Now, he says that he doesn't want to pursue anything because we come from opposing cultures (our cultures are not that different, but yes they are different) and how I should be with a guy from my culture and how he wants to raise his kids (we both want marriage and family) in his own culture and customs and not that he imposes those on somebody who has her own customs. What do you think about all of this? If you would like more information, please let me know if that would help you provide a better answer. I didn't want to write for too long.
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