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pam4him

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  1. It sounds like you're already on the right track, setting boundaries to protect yourself. The geographical change would likely help you find a path for your life, and will help overcome the codependency on mom. It sounds like you pretty much have a game plan, just need to start the ball rolling. Small steps toward that life goal, like selling the condo and furniture, contacting the east coast friends to make arrangements, etc. Maybe even write out your plan so you can see the progress. Prayers for wisdom and guidance.
  2. First, Kudos on continuing your education, setting yourself up to be independent. I wish more 23 year olds would do that. Second, my daughter just got married at 31. There is still time to find that right person to click with, start a family, etc. I do believe in listening to your gut about other people and if it's not "clicking" for you, then that person is likely not the one. I agree with letting it occur naturally. Those relationships tend to last longer because they weren't forced. While it's true some find "the one" sooner than others, that may not be life's plan for you right now. I encourage you to focus on school and enjoying your friends. The one for you will come when it's time. Prayers for peace and the ability to discern when the one comes along.
  3. So sorry for the difficult situation. And, unfortunately, it's a decision you must make. You've recognized the abusive behavior, but are you willing to continue living in that environment? Money is not everything and it kind of seems like he's using that against you. You are still a child, his child, not his wife. Is the financial gain worth the emotional trauma? Is there a possibility it could escalate to physical injury? Please consider safety as you make your decision. Some things might be delayed, but I bet your mom will strive to find a way to provide for you. Take care and prayers for wisdom and guidance.
  4. It can hurt when those around us seem to excel or succeed faster than us. Review the company policies to see if everything is covered. IE. is the raise set or is it based on the approval of the supervisor. Providing a job description does not seem unreasonable and should be readily available. If you feel you are not making headway, consider contacting the local unemployment office for additional advice. As for resigning, it's a good idea to review finances on hand to determine if you need to stay while looking for other employment or resign and use that time to job hunt. Good luck, whichever way you go. Prayers for wisdom and peace about your decision.
  5. I am so sorry for the terrible situation. I've had a couple of bad work places, but not quite like this. Do the best you can, and if work disappears, try not to worry so much about it. In the meantime, keep looking for a way out. Perhaps go ahead and give notice, which will give you something to look forward to, then concentrate on finding a job. Prayers for peace and a better workplace.
  6. I can see how this could be uncomfortable for you. Other than working together, has he given you a reason to doubt him? Does he come home at a regular time most days? He may have meant well by getting her a job, but she saw it as more. It is possible he is ignoring her texts because he is with you. But there's also the possibility of something going on. It's a difficult situation with no real answers. Perhaps give her the benefit of the doubt for now. If you find proof of more, go with your gut feeling. Prayers that it is only a platonic relationship.
  7. I'm so sorry for what you went through. It does not sound like HR was very supportive of you. We have to be careful not to carry past hurts into new situations, that can be kind of self defeating. Try to give the new job a chance. It may bring better coworkers and friendlier environment. Good luck!
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