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hhans

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About hhans

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  • Birthday 12/25/1997
  1. Weird point of view. I don't respect myself because I try to understand her, and give her an opening to make things right? I don't hate, I don't hurt, I don't make drama. That is my strength and that is what people respect about me. Me remaining my kind self throughout this situation hit her way harder than me being angry. It feels a lot more powerful, maybe you'll realize that someday. When the time comes, and she wants back in my life, you'd think it's all good kiss and make up time for me? As I said, we broke up and it's better for the both of us, she will still have to prove she's worth
  2. Okay I misinterpreted that! Yeah I don't really expect her to be celibate at all. She's an emotional wreck right now and how I know her, sex is the last thing on her mind when she feels like this. She's pretty convinced about doing it now, but I doubt she'll stay good. Anyhow, relationship's over, I'm doing my thing, too. I thought you called my last paragraph BS. Thing is, she never lied to me. She hid it, repressed the thought. I trusted her blindly and never asked her if anything happened, she's a very bad liar. Of course you could put that in the same category. I understand what you
  3. While I understand your point of view, there is way more to this. I am who I am and I could not have dealt with simply saying 'F it' and letting it all go. I've done it before and it doesn't grant me closure, it only made me bitter and insecure. I needed to see her and hear her out, even though it didn't work out the way I expected. The 'excuses' I made for her infidelity was because I just didn't know what happened, I was assuming things, now I do have clarity and will be able to forgive it at some point. I can say I am glad I did it. As you said, we're still young. I feel like this made m
  4. Hello, I'm in a pretty tough situation and want to gain some insight in how a person on the other end of this situation feels and thinks. I'll try to keep it short but complete. My (22,m) girlfriend (22) and I had been together for a year when she left to study abroad in Italy. Three months in, I planned to go visit her. Two weeks before I left, I discovered she cheated on me. I was angry, sad, frustrated and confused because our relationship was incredibly strong before she left, and she had a big anti-cheater mentality. We talked a lot after I knew and I knew I still loved her. She may ha
  5. hhans

    Forgive her?

    Well I don't know the story. Seeing what you and others wrote here made me think about it. Maybe it could have something to do with her feelings about this. Since it happened we've had entirely transparant and honest talks like never before, so if we can figure this out, that would be strong.
  6. hhans

    Forgive her?

    I know for a fact she was incredibely drunk. Thing is, she feels really confused about it but nonetheless owns up to it. She repressed the thought of it. She's a very naive girl and I really think this guy is a predatory a$$hole. She tells me she doesn't know if it was consensual, she doesn't deny anything! The moment it became clear that I know she confessed everything. She tells me everything I want to know, even when it doesn't play in her advantage. She really is not trying to save her skin here. I get where you're coming from, though. She at one time told me something about how she has
  7. hhans

    Forgive her?

    Okay I understand you point, I don't know exact details about what happened! I don't want to minimize rape like this. Consider how confusing it is for me :/
  8. hhans

    Forgive her?

    Mate, get a grip. Why are you attacking me? I've known for a few days and I'm supposed to let it slide just like that? This is incredibly confusing for me, as she admits cheating, while it's me who feels like rape is a factor. She doesn't think she's raped, I don't know what to make out of it and this situation isn't finished. We're going to have a lot of talks.
  9. hhans

    Forgive her?

    Thanks for the reply. This comment is directed at you and all the others. This whole situation is very confusing for me, please don't attack me here I just don't know what to make of this. I post this on different forums as my understanding of the situation grows and try to grasp this concept. The thing is that she talks the rape theory out of my head, she doesn't see it that way but maybe she just doesn't realize it. I know about her past and she's always been a sexually liberated person which might be why she owns up to her own role like that, and doesn't see the evil in that guy's action
  10. hhans

    Forgive her?

    I completely agree. But I still feel cheated. Especially because she didn't tell me. I want to take this into consideration if I forgive her, but she has to see it like that. I just don't know what to think.
  11. hhans

    Forgive her?

    Would you think this changes anything? I think it's clear she didn't know what happened herself, didn't do it premeditated but still couldn't tell me. And I get that telling something like that it's hard, it just testifies of little respect for me. She's very serious about wanting to make it right. The acting like nothing was wrong means more to me..
  12. hhans

    Forgive her?

    She liked him as just a fun guy. She told me she didn't feel attracted to him, nor was interested in him romantically. So what I think is that this guy is a typical playboy who has no self respect that he tries to score with drunk girls. That's the thing. Going by what she tells me, I also think of rape. But I don't know the full story yet. Because she doesn't see it like that, maybe there was more about it. I still have a lot of questions for her.
  13. hhans

    Forgive her?

    Hey, come on. She really doesn't see it like that. She said she's in the fault. She told me she 'likes' the guy, and allowed him. She was still unfaithful, drunk or not. I'm not interested in making her suffer. But as I said, I'm going to see her face to face, which will be much clearer than calling. If she would agree she was taken advantage of, that's other story. Don't paint me like the bad guy please.
  14. hhans

    Forgive her?

    To be honest I really genuinely still am interested in her. I don't want to make it seem like I forgive her like that. She told me she's surprised I didn't level her with the ground completely for what she did. I mean, isn't it normal that I expect her to put in a good deal of effort to prove I'm not being stupid for granting her a chance? This is all relatively fresh, i know it since last week and I already feel my anger fade away. I get your point though, but I'm really not interested in making her suffer, there's no point in that.
  15. hhans

    Forgive her?

    I made it VERY clear that what we had is dead and buried. That I am prepared to give her the opening to prove herself and to regain my trust, after which I will decide if it's worth forgiveness. If we're going to continue, we're not going to salvage what we had, it will be something new and stronger, otherwise no deal.
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