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Posts posted by RayRay63

  1. How much to buy the site?


    Pretty easy question guys.


    I guess we are talking six figures, so lets chat.


    There is one thing though. That moderror named Kammuurj? Are you actually playing him, and if so why?


    You need to sack him before anyone will engage with such an arrogant self important .


    He is a big downer on the value of this web site.

  2. Whether it's friendship, or dating, or relationships, it should never be this hard ....

    On that note, OP should take a step back and give the guy a chance .


    OP, I agree with DF, which means there is no way you should just junk this guy, give him a chance.


    I think posters who come in here and tell you to reject him "because the girl shouldn't ask three times woo woo", with no consideration of the objective facts on what you report, are just trying to impose their own emotional expierences and anger on you. Not to mention their learned views of what we all be looking like, playing happy familys.


    Please be your own person.

  3. Looking at it I can see why you think that. I guess I have been dismissive of her reasonings. It's our first born ...


    Oh man, do you love this lady, and want you babies with her... then you go all in. Just do it.


    I did. It didn't work out in the end. We got divorced.


    The oldest is about 20 ish, sitting on my sofa right now, watching Pulp Fiction. Drinking some beer and eating pizza.


    It is outstanding in every way. Hell, if his mother was here we might all just eat some pizza, have a larf, and get on with life.


    A man should have children, and be responsible for them. Get on with it.

  4. Ok great. So try for this low-key approach and get a better sense of things. Try to build up some rapport not pounce on him with a specific date-night event. Also no need to stop having coffee,being friends etc. If you can build on things, great, if not so? You stay friends and pursue someone else as far as dating goes.


    Yes please, do this. Do not go with the knee jerk wave-him-off reaction that posters have been quite wrongly telling you.

  5. Not a game. It's not a game to have personal boundaries that you're not going to keep asking someone for a date, or a platonic friend to get together, at a certain point. That's just being true to your values and your worth.


    We're talking twice, and maybe the lady taking the lead a little.


    Come on Bats, not much risk and the reward could be magnificent.


    She needs to pop it out there. If its a no go, she moves on. Nothing much lost.

  6. How about going to couples counseling? Perhaps that would help sort things out. If you dont, I doubt this relationship will last.


    I think that is a good thing to do. This could be a great family unit, and the OP could be the best, gentlest father who ever held his baby.


    Mate, you are going to get criticized, no matter what you do. Posters here will do it with their usual knee jerk reactions.


    Tough it out buddy. Do it for your child. Don't die wondering.

    • Like 1
  7. Thank you everyone so much. You have really helped my clarity. :)


    Please don't feel bludgeoned into destroying your marriage by any strident posts on this thread.


    Take into account not only your partners' behavior - but also your own.


    Ask yourself this question: "Are those posters unknowingly projecting their own relationship disappointments on to me?"


    Do not do something now that you will come to regret.

    • Like 1
  8. I don't really understand why you wanted to have a baby with her if you were already annoyed at the things she said and were unsure of the relationship? Are you guys an older couple? Seemed like you were in a rush to move in together and have a child? To be really honest, from your post it sounds like you're both just settling for the other person. It doesn't sound like you're really in love or happy with each other. Sounds like you really grate on each other's nerves and don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. Ultimately it's your decision but you don't need to stay with her just because of the baby. You can still be in your child's life even if you break up.


    TD, it is what it is and they are trying to make a go of it.


    I hope they can.


    I think they should give it a go.

  9. What I meant to add was, I will also ask him to get coffee again regardless. And see how it plays out, in either direction.


    Good for you. Do it.


    As you say he is a shy guy. maybe he just needs some encouragement. Perhaps a bit of a push.


    They are one of my favourite bands too.' Weirdly he didn't actually compliment me when I was wearing it!


    it was only when the rest of the group were distracted that he said 'I always appreciate your rants'


    He sounds like a beautiful human being with a quiet, low foot print on this earth.


    Don't wait for him to initiate. Life is too short for the "he has to make the first move" games being advocated here.

  10. I've known a shy guy for a few months now, through a hobby and our mutual friends. At first I just thought was a nice guy, but then he showed such attentiveness & desire to get to know me, always doing me favours etc and he started to melt my heart. In fact the first time we met we talked for about 4 hours straight!


    Aside from this if we are all out in a big group I often catch him looking at me although he looks away when caught. And he compliments me quite a bit.


    So I decided to ask him out to an event this week- he replied saying he would have really liked to, but that he already had plans on that day. Ok fine. When I saw him today, he went bright red & could barely speak properly. He was still chatty as usual, but I definitely felt there was an elephant in the room and I wonder if made a mistake now. Bizarrely he didnt even mention the fact I had asked him out.


    What do you think?


    Ask him out again.


    Don't limit him to one day. Sit with him and work out the date.


    He isn't very good at this, so do the work.

  11. I'll reply when she reaches out and that's all


    You need to think some more about what amounts to a reach out.


    If its organizing a kid play day, its not a reach out.


    If its a breadcrumb to provoke you, its not a reach out.


    If you do the right thing and terminate the kiddie play days, it will simplify matters.


    "I want to get married. And I know that you don't I just want you to know, there'll be no crying, begging, ultimatums or pressure of any kind. I respect your right to remain single. Nor do I want to break up with you (unless you do). I love being with you, and I don't feel that I'm wasting my time just because you don't want to marry me. But I do want to get married so I've surrendered this desire to God/Universe. And until something changes--I change my mind, you change yours--or I get a clear message to move on, I want us to keep going."...


    [What do you think]




    As a man, it depends on whether I am having a nice relaxed relationship with you without stress, or whether you misquote me and try to pick fights for the sake of it, or whine about stuff you knew about me before we got together. For example, if you knew I was a self employed professional, and worked 6-7 days 12hrs each per week, and that's how I rolled, before we were an item, you could not be telling me to change and pushing for it, or I would not believe you when it came to your statements on the topic of marriage.


    If things are going well, and we listen to each other's communications, and there is a general feeling of companionship that I don't want to lose, then maybe I'll accept your assurances. But in the back of mind I'll suspect we are borrowing time, and, eventually, this issue is going to come up again.

  13. She did reach out a week ago after several weeks of no contact "hi, do you have my book called....? Haven't see it...


    That is not a reach out. Probably just logistics. It might be a breadcrumb, so she can provoke a reaction from you, and then punish you some more for hitting her. If so, you are a puppet dancing to her tune.

  14. Take in consideration she has reached out ... said she wants nothing to do with me.


    She did not reach out, she contacted you about logistics.


    My advice remains the same as in your other thread.



    You keep talking about her "reaching out" to you.


    She has not done any such thing. She contacted you about logistics. Kids, tidying up items.


    Each time she does this you misinterpret it as something it isn't.


    Then you get all weak/needy/clingy and bombard her (her expressed view - "sending more msgs than u should") with "I love you" and "Lets go out together" messages.


    You are begging, pleading and making a fool of yourself. You are validating her decision to give you the boot.


    You are annoying her and making her angry, probably why she mentioned your ex after you, yet again, asked her out.


    You physically assaulted this woman, you are lucky she didn't call the cops.


    What are you going to do when she calls you to arrange kids' time, and tells you her new boyfriend is doing the pick up?


    You need to take the advice that has been given multiple times on this thread, because you are carrying on like an immature prat and in the process ruining what little chance (probably none, in truth) that you ever had of reconciling with her


    For a start, pay attention to Einstein's definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.


    No contact, strict no contact, and no kid dates, because you can't help yourself - see above.


    Read this thread and all the advice in it again. And get some help with the anger issues, and no more violence against women.

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