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sunshineten

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  1. So, we're still FB friends, although we don't really comment on each other's stuff (well, I don't really post now). He went on a mini rant, not too bad, where he shared an old FB memory and basically bragged about himself. It looks like less of his friends acknowledged it, and I certainly didn't. Anyway, we've still been talking, and honestly I'm using him for emotional support as much as he may be using me. We have an interest in common that lends itself to extensive conversation and we talk often about what's going on in each other's lives. He asked me out to a sporting event where we would most likely run into mutual friends, but there wasn't a great turnout, so we went to dinner instead and of course, in my weakness, I slept with him again. This time I spent the night and he held me in his arms all night long like he used to, but I still feel empty inside. It's not healthy for either one of us. I've tried to move on (something else we talked about), but I haven't found anyone that has the many positive qualities that he does. He shared with me that a few weeks ago he was feeling particularly lonely/horny and tried to meet someone for a "booty call" by setting up an online profile, but the fish weren't biting, so to speak (he wasn't crass or direct or even hinting at the booty call in the profile). LOL. He even showed me what he wrote in his profile when I asked, and I had to laugh because he is so not the booty call type at all. So, anyway, he's made it clear that he has no one in his life. The sporting event and future events that he may come to to support me are still going to give the appearance that we are close to our mutual friends (some know about the breakup, some still do not), but his depression comes before anything. I mentioned an event he's supposed to go to in a few years and he said he might not even be here (as in be alive). It made me feel so sad to hear him talk like that.
  2. And he's probably going to go on a rant again...I just heard one of the teams he's coaching lost their last game and are now the worst team in the county.
  3. Makes sense...angry and depressed. It just doesn't seem to get any better.
  4. Wiseman2, No that's not it at all. We've talked, seen each other since then and like I said getting over him just fine. If I wanted to see him today I would and could, but it wouldn't be the way I want. The erratic posts came after that quote you posted, and although I had some minor concerns when we dated about his mental state, the erratic behavior is a more recent concern. If you're going to quote me, you need to quote it all. Just because we're not together, doesn't mean I want him to go downhill. What would me wanting or not wanting him back have to do with me noticing uncharacteristically weird behavior? I don't know what your experiences with your exes are, but we're respectful and concerned for each other. So because I wanted him back at one time I made up his recent behavior? You need to think before you respond next time.
  5. We dated for almost a year. That's why I didn't want to disclose the we're exes. It's beyond our past, and I'm just concerned about his mental state. The breakup was primarily about his inability to provide for me and his low self-esteem, the latter of which is manifested in these posts. I'm getting over him just fine, not trying to pursue anything more with him (even though he recently apologized for his behavior toward me, told me there was no one else out there for him, etc., blah, blah, blah), but in a way I feel sorry for him. If indeed he is a narcissist, then that is a mental defect, and the breakup would be about that. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but we had a great relationship so it was all his doing. His mom still contacts me from time to time. I think she (and most of his family) appreciate the role I played in his life, but I think that part also makes him feel inadequate.
  6. We used to date. I neglected to reveal that part. I'm trying to keep my distance, but part of him breaking up with me I believe was related to stress and depression. He did ask me out recently, but I refused because he was just doing it because he was lonely or wanted to hang out with me, but not to get back together. I'm not ready for that yet...if ever. He's a social person, but he doesn't really hang out with a lot of friends outside of the sport he plays. He has some family in nearby towns, but most of his family is out of state. He can act entitled sometimes.
  7. The weird story was about digging several of his neighbors out from a snowstorm. He talked down about pretty much all of them, and he used slang/bad grammar from his hometown (which gets considerably more snow than we do in the town where he lives now) again, with the uncharacteristic profanity and finishes up the post by saying only an intelligent writer can use bad grammar intentionally.
  8. Yeah, I've just stopped commenting on his stuff period although we're still FB friends. The third person references (ex: he's a coach and will refer to himself " Your favorite Coach xxx" before he brags or he refers to himself by his first and last name), is bothersome...probably comes off as arrogance from those who don't know his personal issues
  9. I can do that. It's like he seeks confirmation from FB that he's alright/normal. He even contacted me before he posted the weird story, asking me to check it out (he didn't realize I had actually seen and commented positively on it, although it did throw me off a bit).
  10. I've never known him to drink a lot. I guess I could ask him. I flat out asked him if he was depressed once, but of course he denied it.
  11. A friend of mine has been going through a rough time lately and not feeling good about himself. He's always had some Facebook posts where he's referred to himself in the 3rd person, but he's doing it a lot more lately. Also, he posted a long story about an experience he had and uncharacteristically used a lot of profanity. He's in his 50s and I believe has low self esteem. What's with the weird behavior?
  12. He said he doesn't want to move. Now, he's saying that he feels his parents are giving him a guilt trip about coming back and that it won't be forever (their words). He said he couldn't be of help to both of them at the same time anyway because they don't live together, but he's still thinking of going. He said ideally he would keep his place in our town and go back and forth. He said he definitely would come back one way or the other. As far as the hugging and kissing, I just don't want it to be all about sex, but based on the nature of our recent conversations, it's obvious that it won't be. I told him I don't want to give him part of me, I want to give him all of me, and he agreed and said he wanted the same. I'll do what feels natural and right, but I plan on asking him in person what exactly are we doing/where are we going with our relationship.
  13. So, I kind of backed off a little because although we were chatting, we weren't discussing relationship stuff. Then one day he called and we spoke for three hours. He told me that he was going through a lot and apologized for his behavior. He said he didn't want to bring me down with him and he kept saying he's a bad provider (he's said he's a bad provider in the past). He wanted me to find a good man who could do things for me (that's one thing that he said a few days before he broke up with me, that his greatest worry was being able to do things for me). He also said he does love me, that he misses being with me, and that he wasn't seeing anyone and that he didn't think there was anyone else out there for him. I told him I had opportunities to date, and I tried, but I didn't go through with anything. He also said that he's always wanted to be married one day. He then asked if maybe we could go out on a date next week (after my visiting family leaves town). I told him that's a possibility that might work. He's texted me a few times since then. I feel excited and scared at the same time.
  14. mynameisneo, this definitely helps. I actually communicated with him a couple of times before I saw this message, but I will continue to be upbeat when speaking with him and the next time I'll suggest that we catch up. The hard part will be the hugging and kissing without taking it further, considering our last meeting. I don't want to seem like a tease, but I don't want to give him all of me unless and until he's ready to commit -- and he knows for me that is a plan for marriage, especially at our age.
  15. Well, he called back again, this time I legitimately missed the call, but he didn't leave a voicemail.
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