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Everything posted by KnightMan

  1. Thank you very much boltnrun
  2. Wish you could see the big smile on my face right now! ☺️ Could never have done it without you - Thanks for sticking with me to the end! Wishing you and yours all the best!
  3. I was hoping you would drop by - We all know I would have never made it this far without the encouragement and wisdom from helpful people like yourself. The great advice I received from this forum helped guide me and got me through the difficult days. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart Wishing you and yours all the best!
  4. Good to see you again - Thank you so much for this! Yes - Hope is a good thing!
  5. It has been an amazing journey Your kind words of encouragement and wisdom helped make my happy ending possible! Thank you my friend - Wishing you and yours all the best!
  6. UPDATE: Haven't posted in awhile so thought I would write a little update Things have really been going smooth for me and my new Angel - we've been together a little over a year now - she's moved in and as cheesy as this sounds "she completes me." 🥰 She is one of the most caring and loving souls I have ever met. We are still taking things slow - but I think we may be ready to make this more permanent. She's simply amazing - hard to believe we spent all that time as classmates - only to fall in love later in life. What I love about our relationship the most is we have both been betrayed and we are both so sensitive to each others needs. She's always checking to make sure my fragile heart is okay. It's so many little things that she does for me to let me know my heart is safe with her and I make sure she gets plenty of attention as well. We just can't keep our hands off each other 😁 I love that we have so much in common - we spend most of our time just snuggled up on the sofa by the fireplace watching old TV shows and movies. We both want to move this forward - but we haven't set a date yet - maybe sometime before the end of the year. I went out and visited my EX FIL's grave the other day - I really miss him. Got a letter from the EX - won't go into great detail - it was more of the same apologies and confessions. She's back in therapy and going to school - says she's trying to get her life together and that she may have to put her mom in a convalescent home. I feel bad for her mom - but I honestly felt nothing for my EX - I could not tell if she was being genuine or just playing more games. I told Angel about the letter - we don't keep any secrets from each other. I asked if she wanted to read it - she just smiled and said she had a better idea and chucked it into the fireplace - I happily concurred. I also got a little karma news about the OM - apparently the guy was pulled over by the cops and busted with a bunch of Meth in his trunk - he got arrested and they towed his car. I think he made bail - but he's in a lot of trouble! Oh well - play stupid games - win stupid prizes My buddy is about to retire from the PI business to spend more time with his family - We go out together as couples almost every other weekend and have a blast. Overall I am doing OK - having a great time - loving life - business is still booming - and my heart is racing again. Well that's all for now - Thanks again for listening Stay safe out there.
  7. Thanks Spawn - I appreciate it :)
  8. Thank you my friend! Your wisdom and kind words had much to do with this positive outcome! I hope you and your family are well. Please stay safe and take care!
  9. You are so welcome my good friend! And thank you for taking time to offer your kind support along the way!
  10. Thank you for the kind words - yes it was very difficult - but I think I'm going to be okay We made a lot of good memories along the way - and thanks again you for all of your replies and support!
  11. Update: I know it's been awhile, but since this virus has got most of us stuck inside, thought I would drop in to post a quick update. This is going to be kind of tough so please bear with me. I have good news and bad news. I'll start with the bad news first. Her father passed away from cancer late last year. I took it pretty hard. I actually went to visit him in the nursing home before he passed away. I had no idea he was sick until her mom called and told me he was there. By the time I got down there he couldn't even speak because of the pain medication they had given him. I'm pretty sure he knew who I was, but he could barely keep his eyes open. I just stood over him holding his hand, massaging his forehead, and telling him "I love you dad." I stayed for a couple of hours, gave him a final kiss on the top of his head and left. He died three days later. I went to the funeral, they even had my name listed on the obituary as his "son in-law." I sat with the family, of course the ex was there, had not seen her in forever. We didn't talk much, she was crying most of the time at the church service and all the way thru the ceremony at the cemetery. We did share a hug and a kiss before I left. She asked me what was she going to do without her dad. I told her to be strong and hang in there because her mom was going to need her now more than ever before. I haven't seen or talked to her since. After the divorce we never kept in touch. The funeral was the first time I had even seen or heard her voice in almost a year. I can't tell you what she's been up to or if she has met someone else because I don't know anything about her life anymore. I heard the OM dropped his lawsuit against the company, but I haven't heard anything about him since. I do know his ex has moved on and found someone else. I don't really keep up with any of them anymore because I have moved on as well. I actually met up with the girl from my fishing trip, things were actually going pretty good for a couple of weeks until her psychotic ex-boyfriend showed up and started stalking her. I thought I was seriously going to have to hurt the guy, he has some serious mental issues. I told her it was too much drama for me and we both went our mutual ways. Then out the blue, I reconnected with an old friend from high school, we started chatting on social media and eventually decided to meet up - the rest is history. We never dated in high school, we were just friends back then, but once we met up in person the sparks flew and we have been seeing each other for the past 6 months - now for the good news - I can feel my heartbeat again. We are taking it slow because we are both coming off divorces that involved cheating spouses. She's an introvert like me and we have so much in common it's scary. She is simply amazing, she's intelligent, thoughtful, and she has the cutest dimples you have ever seen. We can't stand to be away from each other and you would think we were a couple of high school kids going out on their first date when we do meet up. She has definitely put a smile back on my face and stopped the bleeding in my heart. My buddy is doing better than ever and I have even made a whole new circle of friends. Life is good and looking better each day. My new GF and I went shopping to stock me up on supplies before they locked down the city and wouldn't you know it - Looks like the two of us are going to be stuck here together for quite sometime. My oh My - what in the world will the two of us do with all this time on our hands? (wink, wink) Well that's about it folks - I hope all of you and your loved ones are staying safe. Oh and one more thing : My new heart-throb said she wanted to buy me something to celebrate our 6 month anniversary of dating and she asked me what would I like. I smiled and told her she could buy me anything - but whatever you do - don't buy me a watch - lol Take care everybody!
  12. Thought I would post a little update since I haven't visited the forum in awhile. I had no idea people were still reading and posting on this thread. I want to thank everyone who wished me well, I've read all your replies and I wish I could thank you all in person, the words I write here are just not enough to express how I really feel about all your thoughtful encouragement. I'm not really sure how to respond to those of you who have been inspired by my roller coaster ride, I still feel a little embarrassed and uneasy about putting myself out here like this, but I'm also grateful and humbled that something I went through could help someone else out. I finally went out and got a new bed for the bedroom, since the condo is all mine now I see no reason why I should keep sleeping on the couch, seems kinda silly to keep that room empty. Been pretty quiet around here, keeping myself busy with work. I finally decided to meet with the OM's wife, she's holding up pretty well considering her stbx is also trying to sue the company for wrongful termination. She's quite a character, strong-willed and has a great sense of humor. I gave her copies of what I had and wished her well, I probably won't see her again, but she can handle herself pretty well and I have a feeling she'll be just fine. I got an invitation from my ex-wife's parents for Thanksgiving dinner, I broke NC and called her parents, spoke to her mom and explained that it's probably not a good idea for me to come over anymore, got a little choked up when she told me I was always welcome in their home and that she would always consider me her son-in law. My buddy invited me over to spend the holiday with him and his family but I said no thanks. I know this might sound selfish but I really don't feel much like being around other families this Thanksgiving. I've decided I just want to be alone this year. But I am cooking a big ham, a green bean casserole and a sweet potato pie! (yes I can cook too - lol!) One last thing, for any of you out there who are going through what I've just been through, I'll just say this, take the advice that applies to you, you'll know it when you hear it. In the end the decision to stay or leave is up to you. It's your life and you're the one that has to live it. There's a time and place for everything, there's a time to fight for a relationship and time to say enough is enough, and you'll know in your heart when that time comes, but most importantly, how you conduct yourself through the process is what will stay with you for a long time. You'll get angry, you'll have doubts, and you're going to make mistakes, that's okay, you're only human. but don't just ask yourself is the relationship worth it, also take the time to stop and examine your own self worth. Well that's all I have for now, not sure when I will be able to stop back by again, but I promise to check in from time to time when I get a chance. Headed to Dallas in December for another road trip to visit some friends. I'm still not dating, haven't even thought about it and probably won't even consider it for awhile, kind of enjoy being alone right now, but the woman I met on the fishing trip keeps texting me to meet up again. I'm still not interested in seeing anyone yet but I will say this for her - she's persistent (smile). Have a Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
  13. Well it's done, I'm officially divorced now. When it was finally over I felt the weight of the world lift off me but my heart felt heavy at the same time. I'm divorced, wow! That's going to take some getting use to. It feels weird just writing it, I feel like I'm wearing some kind of invisible label now. On a positive note, It went better than I thought, a few minor bumps along the way but nothing to get in a twist about. We kept to the deal we originally agreed to before we were married and as promised, the condo is all mine now. We spoke a little after it was over, we were both civil and polite, but it was awkward, it was like we went inside married and came out strangers. She did look much better and I'm pretty sure she'll be okay if she sticks with her therapy. I think in the end she just gave up because she knew I had finally had enough and nothing she did was going to change my mind. She'll always hold a special place in my heart but I had to move on, but at least I didn't give up until I gave her every chance I could. I could have forgiven the physical part, but it was the lies and going out of her way to humiliate me that I couldn't get past. It's going to take awhile to get over that. I'm learning that forgiveness comes in stages, each day I've been able to let go a little bit more. It took me awhile to figure out what all the fuss over this thread was about until I started reading a couple of other forums. I guess cases like mine are pretty rare but I still don't feel like anyone special. I just realized that although I made my share of mistakes, I never cheated on her, I was 100% loyal to her. I worked my butt off for us, I kept my end of the deal and I don't think it's too much to ask for a little loyalty in return, but she blew it, so I gave her what she wanted and that's all there really is to it. I want to thank everyone again for the support, the advice, the PM's and all the encouragement. I would of never made it this far without this place, I'm eternally grateful to all of you. I'm not sure what the future holds but I guess all I can do now is move forward. My buddy and a few close friends are planning something big for me this weekend, so I better get some rest while I still can
  14. I went out to grab some coffee and a little breakfast this morning at Burger King and sat down to wait for my order and the STBX walked in, she saw me and screamed my name out and ran over and hugged me, thank God the place was practically empty. She looked horrible, like she hadn't slept in a month. She sat in a booth across from me and started chattering 100mph, complimenting me on how much weight I've lost and how good I look. She seemed coherent enough and even told me to wish my buddy a happy birthday for her (surprised she even remembered). I didn't want to appear rude so I just sat there, smiled and let her talk. She went to a wedding and said everyone kept asking where I was. Then she started in with the apologies and the tears. I don't think I've ever seen her cry that much, she talked and cried, she cried and talked. She cried and cried, then every few minutes she would stop and lift up her blouse to wipe her eyes. I just sat there and let her go at it. It was like she felt like as if she was never going to get another opportunity like this so she kept trying to jam in all these different conversations at once, she still loved me, missed me, she ruined everything, hates the OM, hopes we can remain friends, etc, etc. They finally called my number so I went and picked up my order and don't ask me why but I had a moment of weakness and went back over to my booth and sat back down to let her finish. She looked so defeated and lost and I felt so sorry for her, I could tell she was in pain and trying to cover it up. She's going back to school and she's back in therapy, keeping herself busy, she apologized for bringing the sheriff's dept. over to the house, she said she doesn't hate me and promised she wasn't going to cause any more drama before the court date and how I had been a perfect gentlemen and that she only wanted me to be happy. I told her I had to leave, we both got up and I hugged her, she squeezed me so tight I thought she would cut off my blood circulation, she wanted to know if I ever think about her, I messed up and told her yes and she hugged me again and this time she wouldn't let go. She asked me to please don't hate her, told her I could never hate her, but that I really had to leave. Got home, called my buddy up and told him what happened, he wanted to know if I was ok, told him I can't help but still love her, he said that it was perfectly normal to feel that way but that I should stay focused. He's coming over tonight and we're going to go out this evening and shoot some paint balls with a few other guys. Leaving tomorrow for my road trip, see you all when I get back :)
  15. If a woman needs to keep making excuses to spend so much time with an EX, he's not an EX, he's your replacement Don't play the pick me dance with her it never works and just makes you look weak. Ask yourself this question "How much am I worth?" If you think you're worth more than a guy who sits around waiting for a girl who lies and cheats then you have your answer. The problem with us guys is we allow ourselves to settle for women who treat us like crap when there are so many other faithful women out there who would love to have a guy like you. Remember no woman will ever value and respect you until you first learn to value and respect yourself. I'm sorry you're going through this, I feel your pain, but trust me... you can do better...ignore her and move on She's not worth it, but you are, good luck!
  16. Today it finally hit me that before the end of next month I'll be divorced. It's going to cost me big but it won't be a total loss, I still get to keep the condo. I looked back over this thread and the hell storm I've been through and to be honest I can't believe I've made it this far. I still don't know how I did it. I think it was a combination of surrounding myself with good friends, being able to shut down to avoid drama and the collective wisdom from all of you. I want you all to know I could never have made it this far without all the great advice I received here. I really appreciate it! Thank you all again! It's been over a month and still no contact from the STBX and her family, that has to be some kind of record. My last few IC sessions have been great! I think I finally realized that one of the reasons I'm still having a hard time forgiving her is because I haven't really forgiven myself. I've done a great job of making all the right choices to deal with all this craziness, but I also think I've allowed my decisiveness to become a smoke screen for dealing with the real pain. It's one thing to admit and own up to my mistakes, but it's another thing to forgive myself for making them. Unfortunately, this is where I'm stuck, I know how to take responsibility for my faults and put on a good game face and pretend to be guilt-free, but what I don't know how to do is forgive myself. I feel like I really need to learn how to do this before I can really move forward. And last, I took out the one picture I wanted to keep from the wedding album, got ready to throw the rest of the album in the trash but I couldn't bring myself to do it, not sure why. I put it back upstairs and I guess I'll figure it out later. One more week and I'm off on vacation for ten days, thought about taking my buddy with me but then I thought to myself "nah, not this time, this is something I need to do by myself" Can't wait to drive through all those beautiful mountains and lay out on the deck again at night and fall asleep staring at all those incredible stars! And before I forget... He told me not to do this but I'm going to embarrass him anyway, To My Main Bud whose been with me from the beginning, through all the good, the bad and the ugly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!!! Never could have done it without you brother! Who da man? You da man!
  17. Nothing much to update, been pretty quiet around here, SBTX hasn't tried to contact me. Came home one day and found the photo album by the front door, not sure who dropped it off, some of the photos were missing, didn't find any notes attached. Mrs. OM called me again, looks like OM is going to make sure their divorce is a nasty one, turns out she was the mystery lady I saw with the OM at Red Lobster, no wonder I didn't recognize her. She wanted to know how I was holding up and that her offer to meet still stands, she somehow got her hands on the watch my wife gave the OM and wants to meet because she thinks I should have it, told her I'll pass. Her ex-friend called again too, the STBX reached out to her and I guess they are in contact again, tried to tell me everything she's been up to, she got a speeding ticket and she's back in therapy, politely told her I didn't care for any future updates on the STBX and made an excuse to get off the phone with her. I still have a few triggers but they don't effect me as much anymore, other than that I'm doing well, just got a brand new SUV and planning a ten day road trip at the end of this month. Our court date is set for next month, so I'll be ready to start a new chapter in my life very soon.
  18. Had a dream last night her and the OM were laughing at me. I woke up in a bad mood, not because of the dream, but because I know I still haven't forgiven her. I know at some point I have to forgive but I'm still not there yet. Sometimes this wave of rage comes over me and I want her to feel like I feel, but in the end I can't bring myself to try and hurt her, it's just not the kind of person I am. The thing that worries me the most is that I won't be able to let go of this feeling and I'm still not sure If I will ever be able to trust someone with my heart again. Not feeling sorry for myself today, just felt like ranting a little and getting this off my chest.
  19. I appreciate all of you for your unselfish kindness and willingness to help me get through this. You have no idea how much your words of comfort, encouragement and wisdom mean to me. This place is amazing. Thanks for listening.
  20. Before I got married I always dreamed of being able to travel
  21. I decided to go around the house and remove everything that reminds me of us. I thought going thru our stuff would be a lot harder than it was. Every now and then I have one of those defining moments where it hits me that my marriage is REALLY over. When I took the trash can outside for the garbage man and went back inside I realized, this was another one of those moments.
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