Iloverabbit

Does anyone know of anyone with situation similar to mine and managed to get back together? I really need the encouragement. I'd call my ex-bf "Rabbit". He was actually my affair bf for 1 year 7 months. I was suffering from a sexless marriage and then out of depression and desperation I had a one night stand and then fell in love with the one night stand. However the one night stand had a gf. I confided to Rabbit (he at that time was my colleague, 26yrs old, while I was 34yrs old) and then ended up getting super drunk and having sex with him twice before he started to fall in love with me. He confessed his love for me and broke up with his gf of 6yrs who mistreated him and often threatened to break up with him. We started our relationship in Oct 2015. He knew what he was getting into (even though it was probably against his own principles, he still loved me a lot), and so did I, though I did feel guilty towards my clueless husband. But Rabbit and I were really deeply in love with each other. We treated each other very well and he put in almost 100% into our relationship. He promised to wait for me to divorce in 2017, while I promised to hold his hand officially by end of 2017. We had many happy and loving and passionate memories together and went overseas trips together several times. He would often tell me that he wanted to marry me, have kids with me and have a home with me. But often times he would remind me to divorce, which stressed me out, thus I sometimes would ask him not to remind me. But he had no one to confide to since it was an affair and said that I was the only person he could talk to thus he would remind me to divorce. I often felt guilty towards him for letting him wait for me and towards my husband for betraying him. At the same time I was having depression, anxiety and OCD (since 2014). But Rabbit was very supportive, caring and doting towards me. We also super compatible in terms of making love. Sometimes I would worry about our 8yrs age gap (me being the older one) and me being a divorcee in future but he would always assure me that those did not matter to him at all. He always thought that I loved the new house I owned with my husband and it impacted him quite a lot when I moved into it with my husband (But I had no choice). Several months later, in March 2017 I was about to initiate the divorce to my husband but I felt so stressed out that I had panic attack and wanted to commit suicide. I got admitted into psychiatric ward for few days. This affected Rabbit a lot. He thought I was never going to leave my husband, because during that period my mind was so messed up that I gave him a lot of insecurities and uncertainties, telling him things like I might leave him or my husband or leave both etc, and I asked him many many repeated questions due to my OCD. I would even say nonsense like I did not want my partner to earn too much lesser than me (but I have never minded him earning lesser than me), and that family statuses (financial) that match each other would be good (he misunderstood that I felt our families did not match - He misunderstood that I thought his family was poor), but the most important thing was the partner that would sleep beside you. He was not able to tell me how he felt because he was worried that it would stress me out again. From mid May onwards I noticed him spending less attention and time on me, I started to have arguments with him. End of May I argued with him again and out of anger I mentioned breaking up but he refused. But in the end he told me "Let's be friends", he said he loved me a lot but had been unhappy every night thinking of me going back home to my husband and he felt that I would never leave my husband, and he felt very scared and stressed about it. So he left me. I found out a while later that a new girl (his age) at his workplace was courting him and he actually got together with this new girl on the day we broke up! In other words, he kind of left me for her too. They have been in a serious relationship (for more than 6 months now) and he even has plans to marry her since few months ago. They seem to be very happy together. The girl often stays over at his place, and his parents like her. And they work at the same place too...Rabbit is in fact his supervisor. After the breakup, I did limited contact with Rabbit for 3 weeks, but later we still text each other and meet each other from time to time. I also told him that I had left my husband and had applied for annulment of our marriage but it did not change Rabbit's mind at all. His heart is already with his current gf. He dreamt of having sex with me and asked me out for sex twice in Sept and we did...But later I told him we should stop this since he wanted to be with his gf and I did not want him to feel bad about it and we shd respect each other. He agreed, though for a couple of times he did have the urge to have sex with me or sex text me while he DIY...and same for me...Recently I did say we could have sex again but he rejected me politely... Recently he is drifting further and further away from me....and does not even "like" any of my FB posts anymore like he used to. Lesser contact from him, slower replies, shorter words, unanswered questions, and making it more difficult for me to meet him. He always knows that I still wish to get back with him, I asked him to promise me a few times - to come back to me if he ever leaves his current gf. He did promise but said that there's likely no chance for him to leave her because he loves her a lot, she treats him very well and his parents like her. He told me that he does not love me anymore and is slowly letting go of his feelings for me. He told me that I am like his sister/good friend now, which I feel is not true because I am like the last of his priorities now. He does not even bother to make a bit of time to meet me when I asked to meet. I am still trying to maintain contact with him as a normal friend...hoping for us to get back together some day.. Does anyone know of anyone with situation similar to mine and managed to get back together? I really need the encouragement!!! I am so miserable...