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fspro10

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  1. I've read your post. I had given up already. I am not willing to try any treatments anymore. Regarding the link between diet and acne, I think it's 0. I mean I have seen drug addicts who eat trash food and they have perfect skin. I never consume lots of junk food, just occasionally. And when acne started showing up when I was like 11-12 my junk food intake was 0. I have a balanced diet. I eat milk, eggs, chicken, vegetables.. Oh and I don't do drugs ever,maybe alcohol sometimes but very rarely. This acne thing has affected me so much that I don't even want clear skin anymore. I just got used to it. As I said in my thread I am looking for ways to cope with this in order to be able to focus on other stuff rather than hooking up. (Not because there wouldn't be girls interested but because I don't feel comfortable and confident in my own skin and there is nothing in the world that will make me feel comfortable in my own skin with the way I look now; I'm 100% avoiding any girl that shows any signs of interest - I have had a few) But I still don't understand why they would be interested since my face and half of my body look like a strawberry field, I am very awkward, average-height, corny voice. Even if I would have greater qualities you have to understand that its impossible for me to get over something that is with you 100% of the time. When I wake up I sometimes feel good but then I go brush my teeth and I look in the mirror and it reminds me of the biggest burden I have ever had in my life
  2. Honestly, do you think that I would be able to live a happy life without romance? Since humans' entire existence revolves around sex: we want to make more money to attract more and better women, we want to look good for the same reason etc etc. Right now I just feel hopeless. This acne has totally destroyed me as a person. I feel disgusting because I look disgusting, I don't ever feel good in my own skin. Since it's been so long I think I got used to looking like a loser and behaving like a loser. I have thought and sometimes still think about suicide. But since I'm a major pu$$y anyway that's not likely to happen. Sometimes I just hope I won't wake up anymore
  3. Hello. I am a 21 year old male who has been suffering from severe acne for the past 9 years. Here you can see pictures from different parts of my body affected by acne: ibb.co/album/exJ7GF This thing has affected me pretty bad and I am in a tough spot. I have been on accutane and doxycicline but they only worked while I was on them. I took them in more cicles of a few months eqch. I am about to end my last year of bachelor. This thing has ruined my life so far. I feel really low because it makes me feel very inferior. Naturally, I am quite a shy and introverted person and this thing has made things a lot worse. Something that has been on my mind alot is that the acne makes me feel totally unattractive which is fair considering how bad I look. But it just frustrates me a lot that I am not able to become my best version because this thing not only affects my love life but other aspects of my life. I have totally given up on the thought of having a relationship because acne makes me feel very repulsed towards myself which is normal when you look how bad it looks. There is no way I will feel comfortable next to someone looking the way I look right now. Considering that it didn't go away until now it will probably last more years and then I will also have other scars which look worse than normal acne. All I want right now is to be able to obtain a good living and just be alone but this affected my mindfulness also, I find it difficult to focus on studies and work. I never feel fully relaxed or at peace. When I saw that Accutane didn't work I just totally gave up, I will never go to dermatologists again, they just want to rip you off. I just want to know how to deal with this so I can start focusing on other things like money, success because it's clear that the relationships parts is over for me. Even if I will finally get cured in like 10-15 years from now on I have swore to myself that I will never date because I have already been ripped off the most beautiful period of a person's life which is youth. Please don't start telling me that I'm wrong and acne is a small issue or other bull. I'd like to hear some advice on how to cope with it in order to focus on studies and work even if it will be hard.
  4. Hello again. First of all I wanna thank everyone that replied and tried to help me. I thought I would upload a few pics of my acne so you guys can actually see why it's bothering me this much: https://imgur.com/a/QnL7Zed MirrorKnight, you said '' For a young man such as yourself, you need to realize that whether you have acne or not, and how bad it is, is ultimately a very small part of what defines you as a man, and the value of you provide in a relationship. If you focus purely on your acne, it will destroy your life, if you do what you can to manage it and accept it for what it is, then you can focus on other aspects of your life that are within your control, like your fitness, health, education and career." I agree with this but I just cannot get over it, it just makes me feel ugly, inadequate. I am trying to focus on career and studies but at the end of the day at this age you wanna love and be loved right? And this thing that I'm suffering from doesn't really allow me to be confident and comfortable in my own skin.
  5. Hello. I am a 20 year old male from Eastern Europe in my 3rd year of college. I am at a point in my life where I feel very unhappy and don't know what to do. I always feel very inadequate and inhibited, afraid of being real and honest about myself. I just feel an extreme level of shame whatever I do. I had really bad acne and still have it and that has left very ugly marks all over my body and that has a lot to do with it. I am single and never had a real gf. Instead of having the best time of my life like all people say I should at this age, it just feels like I'm accumulating more and more regrets because I just feel like I can't get over the fact that I am ugly and my appearance sucks. I have been to multiple doctors, they gave me Accutane but it only worked while I was taking it. I am lonely and depressed, feel like I can't connect with anyone, very scared of intimacy and women and starting to hate them for no reason.. I'm just scared that I will end up on my deathbed having so many regrets and never being able to take the chances because deep down I don't think of myself as being worthy of anything or anyone. There are days when I don't do anything, I just lay down in bed all day hating on myself.. Some advice would really help.. thanks
  6. I have been working out and was able to put on some muscle but my body still looks really bad and gross with all the scars on my chest, back, shoulders and arms. So not much I can do about it I guess..
  7. I am financially independent. I wasn't talking about financial support from parents. I was talking about emotional support. I don't really have that person in my life to bring me up when I'm down and to understand and accept me the way that I am. My parents just tell me that I shouldn't feel like this and they try to repress the way I feel about this which makes things worse. I don't know how old you are but for someone my age it can really bring you down, plus I had this since I was like 12 or 13. I don't know..
  8. Hello. I am a 20 year old male. I'm in a place in my life right now where I am really stuck and my life feels like a hell. For the past 7 years I have been suffering from severe acne that has left many marks and holes all over my body, especially on my face, back, chest, shoulders and arms. This, combined with a pretty low self-esteem and a negative body image has made me really depressed. I didn't really have friends in high school and I don't now either. I am in my 2nd year of college. However, the thing that bothers me the worst is this girl from my class that I can't get out of my head. I've been crushing so hard on her from the first day of college. I know that this sounds silly, but I just can't talk to her. When it comes to sex & relationships, I am very insecure and I hate myself and the way I look. Regarding acne, I have seen dermatologists and they have been able to stop my acne but not my huge and very ugly scars. I just can't find strenght in myself to just do it. I just don't know What to do. When I look in the mirror all I see is a disgusting human being that doesn't deserve to be loved. I have tried to talk to my parents about this but they never take me seriously or they try to deny my problems even if I tell them that it bothers me and it causes me suffering. I am just afraid that I will never be able to confess what I feel to this girl and that I will never fulfill my dreams in life because of this self hatred stuff. In my case, I don't think it's just a mental issue, because I actually have a reason or maybe multiple ones to hate myself. I don't want my life to be filled with suffering and regret anymore but I don't know what to do since I absolutely hate myself and I don't have any backbone or self-confidence. There are days when I just come home from school and start crying because I can't confess my feelings to her and I see her with other dudes. She has shown interest in the past but I haven't been able to do anything about it. It wouldn:t be so hurtful if I was able to talk to her and even if she would have rejected me it would have been fine. I just regret not being able to truly live my life and be able to love and have fun and fall in love with someone I really like.
  9. I will turn 20 years old in a few days. This is a writing of my thoughts, it's not really in order so just bear with me here please. I'm sorry. I just wanna hug her and tell her that I'm sorry for not doing anything to confess my feelings for her. I feel like everyday goes by, my soul keeps dying more and more. I just feel dead with no purpose. In adolesence I wasn't really accepted and loved for who I truly was so over-time I learnt how to supress my true-self and be something that I'm not just to fit in which so far I think was the biggest mistake of my life. About this girl, I fell in love with her the first time I saw her and to this day I haven't had the courage to tell her how I truly feel about her even if in 1 year and a half she has showed interest multiple times. Along with this, I don't have the courage to step up and do anything. I am terrified of being vulnerable and true to someone. She is from my class. I don't care about partying and meeting girls. There is this feeling of regret that has taken over me and it's horrible, unbearable. Today I have just cried for multiple hours straight. The thought that I was never able to be in love and just live I feel like I truly live are killing me on the inside. I know she won't be perfect. I have neglected my feelings for so many years that I don't even know who I truly am as a person. There's been years since I've truly been able to relax and let go. At the same time I don't wanna look pathetic in front of her. I have become someone who I am not. In reality I don't give a about how others think. I would be ready to risk everything to be with her, I just don't find the strength to do it. I don't have the strength to truly go for the girl that I really like or to follow my heart and live the life I wanna live. Any other activity I do, I feel like it's just a way of distracting myself from what I truly want, which is being with her. I regret everything so much. I have very low self-esteem along with scars on my body and I just felt like I don't deserve her. She looked like she was so confident and comfortable with herself and just scared the hell out of me. I don't know what to do. I'm writing this crying from my room. I'm sorry and hopeless and dead on the inside. I regret it so much...
  10. fspro10

    Why

    So I have a girl from my college class that gave me signs of interest last year on more ocasions but I didn't have the guts to even start a conversation with her because I really really really liked her and everytime she is around me I panic like crazy. Now she has a bf. Everytime she sees me she either stares at me or looks away in disgust. What is this? Doea this really mean anything or it's all in my head?
  11. fspro10

    Stuck.

    Yeah there were opportunities but I couldn't do it, I felt too afraid that I was gonna screw up. There were two times when she was smiling insistently to me while making eye contact. Sometimes I could observe her peeking to look at me. But this has changed now. Everytime she sees me she looks disgusted and looks away, and I get it. She thinks that I ignored her because I don't like her, when in fact I just feel too inhibited to talk to her. Now there were also a few things that I probably forgot to mention. During high-school, because I wasn't having too much fun and had poor parents (still do), I decided to start working online and postpone my social life until college. I was expecting to make more money so that I could truly enjoy the college life. Also I developed a passive-aggressive behavior. At the beginning of high-school I was one of the best students from my class. Until I became like the rest of my class-mates: people who didn't really care about school, but still I was able to get pretty good grades. And most of the times I was being verbal-bullied in class, especially when I was deciding to stand-up for something, I was being put down pretty quick. I wasn't showing that this kind of behavior from them was hurting me because I was afraid of embarrassment. This keeps haunting me until now, everytime I try to set-up a goal or wanna go out somewhere, there is this image that pops up in my head that I will do something stupid or someone is gonna say something to me and I will be humiliated. This has resulted into me being more and more isolated. And now coming back to the girls topic. In the first day of high-school, about 5 years ago it turned out that my crush from elementary school were going to be class-mates. In the first day, just like my actual crush she just came near me and was expecting me to talk to her but I couldn't do it, as usual. I think she used to like me. During 4 years of high-school we've never spoken to each other, and now if we meet, we don't even say hello to each other. I know this wouldn't be too bad if you knew that the other person is a bad one or that you just don't like each other. But the thing that bothers me is this difference between what could have been if I wasn't a p**sy and the thing that is. I don't know, I developed a weird way of repressing who I truly am because I am afraid, so instead I pretend to be a careless guy but I'm not. Now the thing that terrifies me is that I will never be able to truly enjoy life at my potential and I will be stuck with mediocre people for the rest of my life and that I have never told this girl from my actual college class how much I like her.
  12. fspro10

    Stuck.

    Hello. I am 19 years old. I started college in October 2017. Right from the first day, I fell in love with a girl that I saw at the opening ceremony (I couldn't help it, I couldn't stop looking at her). Now I don't know if this happened to me because I really like her or just because I tend to be a shallow person and care a lot about looks. In the next day, surprisingly, when I walked in class, I found out that we are class-mates. Great. I also want to mention that I am a quite shy guy especially when it comes to girls and I don't really have a social life. In one of the first weeks, when I went outside in the break to smoke a cigarette, she and one of her friends came right next to me (like a few cm). Her friend (a girl as well) was smoking and was just staring at me while smiling, while my crush was standing next to me and was just constantly adjusting her clothes towards me and flowing her hair (she is a non-smoker so I guess she came out for me or nah?) and they were not saying anything and I didn't say anything either. There was another time when I walked in class and she gave me that puppy look with a smile. And another time when she was standing right in front of me (a few cm) while I was sitting down with her ass towards me and she pulled up her pants and shook her booty really hard which scared the hell out of me. My drama is that when I am at university I am so scared that I can't even look her in the eyes and when I'm in my room or somewhere else I just can't stop thinking about her. It's gotten to the point where I can't even study or focus on my work. I feel like I am filling up with regret every day. I don't know if I feel this way because I feel hugely attracted to her or because I'm very lonely in general which I think makes things worse. She seems like a warm outgoing person and I don't know if those were signs that she liked me or she was just trying to be friendly. The only thing I did was to send her a message via Facebook about 2 months ago (at that time she already done all those things that I mentioned above) where I told her that I was sorry for not being very friendly to her and that I like her and that I know that I should tell her that I like her face to face but I am too shy to do it. She said that she was in another relationship and found it interesting that I like her and reproached that we didn't have any chats or anything. And then there comes social status. I am quite a poor guy with no-rich parents while she seems like she is the opposite. Also through high-school I was hanging out with losers and that took a toll on my thinking and behavior. After I realized that I hanged out with idiots who only cared about themselves and didn't give a about me, when I could have met much better people I started feeling really depressed. My confidence was really low after high school, probably close to 0 and now this happens with this girl which makes things even worse. I wish I didn't fear embarrassment this much but I just can't. I wish I could be a guy who puts his feelings away and only focuses on studying and work but I just can't be that way. I feel terrible and depressed and I don't know what to do and where to start from.
  13. Hello. I'm 19. So there is this girl from my class that I've been having a crush on for the last months. She showed some interest through body language but never tried to start a conversation with me(I guess she wants me to do that haha). The problem is that I am very shy with girls and I don't know how to do it. My crush on her is so bad that I think about her everyday and I just can't do anything, I can't focus on my work or on my studying. She has been very nice to me since we started college a few months ago. But me, being terribly shy and not confident, I didn't know how to approach her or talk to her and I ended up not saying anything, and not talking to her almost at all, which ended up with her thinking that I'm just an . The reason for my insecurity is the fact that I'm not a very sociable person or outgoing and at this age it's all about having sex and there is another problem: I have terrible acne scars on my chest and back that look horrible. When I'm saying that she showed interest, I mean that she was smiling to me a lot, being very nice, adjusting her clothes in front of me, pulling her pants when I was behind her and she knew that I was looking, playing with her hair when she was around me etc. The other problem is that I was a virgin until a few hours ago. I've been to a hooker thinking that finally getting the job done will fix things a bit with my confidence but it wasn't like that. I struggled to maintain the erection and I couldn't orgasm, which made things worse. My first impression of this crush when I saw her was that she's a 10. So I did put her on a pedestal in my mind and when she showed interest, I just froze and didn't know what to do. Yesterday we had an exam and when I walked in class she saw me and just gave me a look like she was disgusted to see me, but I get that, she showed interest and just was nice to me but I was scared and insecure and came out as an . I don't know what to do. If I tell her the truth I don't think that she's gonna believe me, probably she's gonna slap me. I just can't stop thinking about her, she is not the most beautiful girl that I've seen but she is the one that I feel the most attracted to. Should I let it go and just let this attraction go away or try to talk to her ? Because right now I think that neither ways will make us be together. If I tell the truth she's gonna think that I'm a coward and will probably hate me more, I know that girls hate cowards. But I feel like if I let things like this, maybe this feeling will go away and at least I'm gonna keep my dignity.
  14. fspro10

    Lost

    Hello. I am almost 19 years old. In this post I will describe my actual situation. I don't really know where to start from. So I just started college in October and right from the first day I saw this girl and I felt like I fell in love instantly. Then I realized we were actually class-mates. And then I found out she likes me back. She has made it pretty obvious but right now I'm feeling very down and depressed, with very low self-esteem. I get so panicked when she's around me that instead of being nice to her and talking to her I ignore her because I just don't know what to say, I am afraid of screwing it up. One of the reasons is that I'm suffering from a pretty severe form of acne on my whole body and if we hooked up it would have probably led to getting intimate with each other. Earlier this day, I met with a friend of her, who is also a mate from our class, I said "hello" to her friend and I could see her (the girl that I really like) turning her back so I won't see her. I know it may sound like something casual or unimportant but that was a moment when I realized that I really ed up. I've also been bullied through high-school and I think this played a role in the decrease of my self-esteem also. It did put me down so bad that I'm so afraid of talking to people so bad so instead I will just ignore everyone. A few years earlier, when the bullying started, and I saw that people were heads, I was thinking like " it, I don't need everyone". But a few experiences have made me realized that this attitude doesn't fit me. I am naturally a very sensitive and motivated guy. I don't know what to do, where to start from. Going back to the situation about that girl, I feel like all I wanna do is hug her and tell her that I'm sorry. If this seems hard to read/understand, I apologize, I'm a bit drunk right now writing this. The only good thing about these years is that I started a youtube channel that makes me a few hundred bucks every month. I would talk to my parents about my situation but I feel like it's just too much to tell them, I feel like I should be the one who finds a way through this BS. I know that I shouldn't put the blame on other people, but I have been so open and friendly to the wrong people in the past that I have ended up the one who got hurt. Sometimes my actions are like a 14 year old's, I tend to be very immature. I don't know what to do and where to start from...
  15. Hello. I am 19. For the past 6 years I've been suffering from a severe form of acne that has left me with very bad scars on my chest, face, back, neck and face. Throughout highschool I,ve also been bullied which has negatively influenced my self-esteem. I just hate the actual state of my skin and I just can't stand looking myself in the mirror. Then comes the bullying memories that make things worse, because I was a coward and I was afraid to confront the bullies. Right now, on a scale from 1 to 10 , my self esteem is at 0. I am still a virgin of course and I am afraid to get intimate with girls since most probably they will be disgusted. I feel so down that I just don't appreciate anything. In social situations I feel very anxious. Also, for the past 4 years I've been addicted to masturbation. I don't think masturbation was a cause of acne because acne started to show up before i was a pmo addict. I don't know but it feels very painful not being able to do what I feel like doing at this age, which is having fun. I currently have a crush on a girl from my class at uni and I'm pretty sure she likes me back but I am too inhibited and shy and stupid to tell her anything. I just feel hopeless and lost. I don't know what to do. I just finished an acne treatment that made things a bit better for the acne but not for the scars. I sometimes feel like things only get worse and worse, even think about suicide. People think that at my age you would only want to drink, get laid and just don't give a , and just having a lot of energy and enjoying life. When I hear that, I'm like " are they talking about? Why am I not like this?" I just don't know where to start from and what to do in order to gain confidence and just be able to live with a bit more joy and have no more regrets, since I already have a few.
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