elliott

6 days of NC now, since I found out she was dating someone else (after three weeks since our break up). Not texting her have been relatively easy, since - as much as I miss talking to her and whatever - I know I'm not ready for trying anything by now, not only because of how I still need to improve myself a lot, but also because the new relationship/rebound thing still hurt me. Stopped following her on FB but still have her on Instagram, which sucks because every now and then she's posting something about new guy, saying how amazing he is, etc.. So it's hard, but I'm trying to put myself in a place were either I'll be OK with her photos (not really caring if this is true or just a rebound, etc.), but maybe even unfollow her on Instagram as well. I'm afraid that being able to see these pictures still hold me back in getting over and improving myself before trying win her back or something like that, but I'm trying.

Hey everyone! I`ve just been through a difficult break up (sorry about any mistakes, not native-english-speaker), and going through this, of all the things I've been looking for to ease things and get myself together, this post has been one of the most important ones. So I've decided to share my story, and hopefully get some advice, some opinions and, just maybe, help someone who's going through the same things. Trying to resume everything: in the first months of 2016, this girl started to work the same place as I. Almost immediately, we fell for each other (as I would eventually know), but there was one problem: at the time, I was at another relationship - a messy and complicated one -, so for a long time none of us made anything. But we started to become great friends, although only in office space - as in we never got out together, even as friends or anything. But as time went by, my relationship became sour and sour, and I became more and more in love with this girl, until a point I could not deny it anymore. So, in the first weeks of January, I broke up w/ my girlfriend, and a week later I asked this girl to go to the movies with me. After that, we started dating immediately (and only then I found out that this whole time she was also totally in love with me, and suffering her share for seeing me in a negative relationship and not with her). From the begging, it was great, we were not only great as a couple but also as great friends. Even the fact that we worked together and saw each other every day did not stood in the way - as a matter of fact, we loved to see each other all the time, even if it was at work. Nonetheless, we also had to problems from begging - my share of the problems was that, since I've just gone out of a serious relationship, I did not want to go "public" right away, not because I was still in love w/ ex, but because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, making her feel rejected or betrayed or whatever. As for her, she had some trust issues, related (I guess) to an abusive ex-boyfriend. She could retrieve to her shell quite easily, and every single little discussion could make her become real defensive, and she avoided to let me in her personal safety circle (as in, for ex., she never really introduced me to any of her friends). These were difficult problems, but I was sure we could fix them by talking and giving each other all the support we could. And, during all this time, no matter these problems, she was always lovely, supportive and incredibly great to me. I never once doubted how much we loved each other. In August, she received a offer to a new (and better) job, and we stooped working together. At first, no matter how much I missed her, I thought this would be good to our relationship, and gave her all my support. And for the first weeks or so, nothing important really changed. But after a while, she started to have some problems in her new work (related only to an gigantic and absurd amount of work). One day, we had a little fight - she was stressed with work, wanted to off steam but was a little rude, I was stressed with work also, and didn't gave her enough attention. This little fight became a bigger one, and we did not talked for a couple of days. After that, we talked and forgave each other. But, in the very next day, she said she wasn't happy with our relationship but still loved me a lot, so she wanted some time by herself to find these feeling again. We went on a break. This break lasted three to four weeks, but during this time, she would come and text me a lot. We even went to the movies one time - even if nothing boy/girl-friend related happened. I was hurt, but felt we could work things out. Then, after these weeks, she dumped me. She said she loved me a lot, she missed me like hell all this time we were on a break, but she felt she needed to grow as a person, and she was afraid that, if we keep together, we would eventually break up anyway, but in worse terms - and to her, that time, the more important thing was to keep our good memories and don't put anything in the way of our friendship because, by her own words, she could not imagine "a life without me there somehow". I was devastated, but kept it to myself. Did not went after her. Two days later, she texted me, wanting to know if I was ok. I said I was missing her a lot, and wanted her in my life. She said she missed me and wanted me too, but wasn't ready to get back in a relationship yet. After that, we spent two weeks w/o talking or texting each other. Last week I was going through a small surgery, and did not wanted to be operated before talking to her. So I texted her, just asking how she was. She answered me politely, but there was something different - she looked distant. And, in the very next day, she posted on FB a photo with another guy. I freaked out. Took a deep breath and texted her, in the most polite way I could - and yes, I managed to be polite - if she was dating this other guy. She answered me she was simply living her life, wanted me to live my life too, and I should understand that. I didn't answered that. Since then, for the last few days, she shared a lot of posts and photos with this guy - whom I kinda know she only met AFTER the break up, i.e. not even three weeks ago -, looking really in love w/ him, and not caring at all bout how I feel about this (btw, she never shared so much of her personal life on social media with me or before we were together). She didn't text me again, neither did I. A mutual friend of ours from work (the only person who knew about our mutual feelings BEFORE we went on out first date) said she changed with her as well, acting distant and strangely. I thought a lot about it this last week. She seems really in love w/ new guy, but I truly believed she dumped me with very strong feelings about me, and things seem to be going to fast for her to be in love w/ new guy just after three weeks - don't matter how much new guy may be awesome. So maybe it's a rebound, and she's (unconsciously, maybe) using him to get over feelings for me - same reason she stooped talking with our mutual friend. But seeing her looking so in love with him, it's difficult even to accept that. I know I've writen a lot, but I needed to say all it was in my chest. I've decided I'm not gonna go after her, I'm gonna give her her space, altough I still love her and miss her like hell - I know it's a cliche, but I've never felt like this for any girlfriend before -, and decided I'm gonna use this experience to improve myself in a lot of ways I know i was in fault with her. But I still want her back, and still honestly believe she's the one. Hope you guys could give me some insights. Do you think it may be a reboud? Maybe she will realise that? Or: should I be hopefull? Thanks!