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Allbymyself4

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  1. So my friend has been together with her boyfriend for over three years now (they are 19 y/o). He is a bit more religious and she is not so much. She has always had a huge interest in taking creative pictures of herself and nice views, something that has led to her getting 6000 followers on Instagram and getting sponsored by huge brands (na-kd.com, ivyrevel.com, peppermayo.com.au). She loves doing this and its a great hobby for her. The problem is that this has always been a problem for the boyfriend. She had to delete a lot of picture because of him and has to stress everytime she wants to post something. They are currently not together because of some things, But they are talking and he is really trying his best to get her back. Yesterday he told her that Instagram is still a problem for him, even if he has said before: just delete those specific pictures and everything will be Alright. Its like he still wants and needs to control her Instagram even if it shouldn’t be Such a big deal. Now he suddenly wants her to create a new account and delete the one she has. I just think its sad because she has achieved a lot and will achieve a lot more with her pictures. So Why delete it for him? I can understand that he is insecure and jealous, espescially since her family doesn’t know she has a boyfriend and she therefore can’t show him off on social media. But still, he has not been the best boyfriend to her: he has broken up with her a couple of times because of "loosing feelings" and personal problems. She has always been there for him, she has just been with him, she studies, has a job, takes care of herself. Even his friends say that she is the nicest girl they have met and that he is really stupid if he lets her go. She is really trying to be the best woman she can be, But it seems like it isn’t enough for him. He still gets caught up on Instagram and makes Such a big deal of it When in reality, he should be proud of her and support her like everyone around her does. If her parents find out about him and that he is a bit controlling, they would not accept him at all. Because they are super against that type of thing. How should she talk to him about this and make him understand? She doesn’t want to quit this hobby, it really makes her Happy. She needs some help so she can explain this to him in a good and understanding way, so please write down your thoughts about this
  2. You are probably right.. I think I want clarity because he never gave it to me, he never gave a good reason on Why we broke up and never explained himself good enough. Now I finally have the chance to hear him out and to say all the things that I have wanted to say to him If you want to know how and Why we broke up, I wrote about it in my very first post here
  3. You are so right and I know it. I was thinking the same and I know that his intentions aren’t good. If you check my very first post here, I have written all about the breakup. The thing is, I really want to meet him, just to hear what he has to say. I also have a lot to say to him about the whole thing. It may be stupid to even say Yes to meeting up, But I know that if I don’t do it, I will be the one asking him to meet up in a few weeks or months
  4. So my ex and I broke up about two months ago, and the last time we spoke was three weeks ago. He said that he is not planning on ever getting back together with me and that it doesn’t work between us anymore and that he just wants to move on. I have not texted him since that day, and now he wrote this to me: "Hi, I just wanted to say that if you still want to meet up to get clarity on things, we can. It is up to you :)" Why is he suddenly texting me this after saying he doesn’t want me anymore? I am so confused..
  5. So me and my boyfriend broke up about 1/5 months ago, and we were together for 3 years. My first post is about the breakup if people are interested. There is just something I am really annoyed and confused by. When we were together he really did not like Instagram and complained about me posting to much, and also never being a supportive boyfriend (i get sponsored by brands and love taking pictures). When we broke up, he suddenly started posting a lot, posting instastories and opened his profile. But today he suddenly deactivated his account, so I am confused. When we were together I also told him that he should try to cut his beard and hair a certain way, but he always said no and did not like it that way. Now that we aren’t together, he has cut his hair and beard the EXACT way that I wanted him to. I also work at a makeup store, on the local center where he lives. And today he went through that store, even if he knows that I work there on saturdays. There are plenty of other ways to go through, but he chose the way were the makeup store is. I just don’t understand his behavior? Is he just trying to annoy me or what? I am so confused
  6. I loved this reply, thank you so much for taking your time to write all this. I really needed to hear it. I am going to do my very best to take your advice, thankyou so much
  7. Me and my ex (he is 18 and I am 19), that I was together with for three years, broke up about a month ago. The first post I made was about the break up, for the people that are interested. But long story short: he broke up with me a year ago because he said that he has lost feelings for me. He begged for a second chance 2 months later, and I took him back. 10 months later I broke up after him telling me that it seems like he has lost feelings again, even if he said that he didn´t mean it that way. He even cried like I have never seen him cry before. I then sent him a message, two days later, and asked for a second chance. But he replied with: "What we had, was our chance". We have now been in 1 month of NC, and I am the type of person that really doesn´t make contact after a breakup, I don´t feel the need to bother him. But the way we ended things, has haunted me everyday. I know people say that you don´t need closure, but I feel like I can´t be in peace with myself, or move on, without closure. I think it has a lot to do with my anxiety, and me being afraid of not getting to say goodbye the right way, before something suddenly happens to him or me. I know it is stupid, but I suffer from generalized anxiety and I am really afraid of something bad happening to the people I love. Thats why I sent him this message yesterday: Hi. It has now been 1 month since we broke up, and I did not plan on sending any messages to you, since it can be interpreted like weak in other peoples eyes, and maybe yours too. But I have been thinking that it is rather mature and strong of me, to end this relationship the right way. The way we ended things was immature of the both of us. Many people say that you do not need closure, but when we have known each other since 2014, been together for three years og been through both good and bad, I feel like I owe it to the relationship, to end this in a good way, once and for all. You will always be my first love, and I will always be yours. We are from the same area, and we know the same people, so pretending that none of us exist, is just childish. We will always have a past, and I will rather that we are grateful for everything we have been through, what we have learned from each other and how much we have grown together, instead of having hate og bitterness against each other. Everything happens for a reason, and unfortunately we just weren´t meant for each other. Regardless, you will always have an important place in my heart, and I wish you only the very best. Also, good luck on your exams, if you haven´t had them already!! He only replied with this, so cold..: I agree with what you are saying, we have a past together, and we should at least respect each other for that. I am not bitter over how things ended, because as you are saying, it is just how things had to happen. I wish you well, good luck on exams too. I just don´t understand how he can be so cold, and just acknowledge a small part of the message that I sent him. Is he really so over the situation? It really seems that way.. The thing is that the first time he broke up with me, he was this cold for three months. After three months he sent me a message, begging to get me back. Because of that, I am hoping that it will happen again, in three months. I feel like its so stupid of me, because I am sitting here with false hope and thinking that he eventually will come back..
  8. I was together with a guy for two years, but we had a thing for one year before getting together. This guy was my first boyfriend, my first love and the first guy that I took home to my parents. He was my first everything, and took my virginity too. The first year, when we just had a thing, it was a lot of fighting between us, lack of communication and almost no trust. He believed in rumours about me, and talked about them everyday. I felt like everyone was against me, but no matter how hard it was, I still stayed with him and made sure that he would understand that the rumours are fake. He used to call me, yell at me, say the meanest things to me and even flirt with other girls just to make med angry. I literally cried everyday for about 6 months, but I still fought for him. I used to bring him gifts, call him all the time, and even cry just to make him stay with me. He left me 5 times during those 6 months. That evil sycle led to depression. I even lost a lot of weight because of it. Then one day, he left me again, and this time I let him – not because I wanted to, but because I didn´t have anymore energy to fight for him. 3 months later he came back. I gave him a new change and we were officially a couple. During the 2 first months of being together, I was afraid of telling him that I had two bestfriends that were boys. I lied to him about it because I didn´t want him to leave me again. But he found out, and after that he stopped showing me affection and love, he didn´t give me attention anymore. I decided to cut the two bestfriends out of my life, even if these two boys even were my childhood friends. I had no guy friends after that day, I deleted every guy on social media, but he still wasn´t satisfied. My depression got even worse after that, and he wasn´t by my side even if I needed him. I started to go to a psychologist, and he never asked me about my sessions unless I brought it up. I felt so alone and was not happy. I was always the one calling him, texting him and asking him to meet up. He never took initiativ, and he was always at the studio, making music, while I was home, crying my eyes out. He prioritized the music, and forgot about me. He also accused me of cheating on him, and he always said that I was so sceptical and mysterious – like I was hiding something from him. I felt like I always had to prove to him that I wasn´t. I suprised him with a hotel room, gifts, dinners and even dropped important exams because of him. But I got nothing back. During the winter, things just got worse. I was so tired and I didn´t even want to live anymore. I called him and cried about it, and he just yelled at me and said that I stood in the way of his music career. When he actually came to take care of me, we didn´t find a solution to the problem, he was there for me for about two days each time, and then he forgot about me again. My mom even started getting sick and developed depression because of hearing me cry in my room for 2 whole years. I didn´t even know that she heard me cry every night. She brought it up with my ex, and said to him that we really need to find a solution so that I could get healthy again. He perceived this as an attack and dumped me again. I got hysterical and started begging him to take me back. I got so angry with my own mother and accused her of ruining my relationship when she only was trying to help. We got back together again a few weeks after that, and before that I really fought to get him back. I used to go outside his house and sit there for hours till he was willing to talk to me. I called his mother, his friends and even him. During that time I started feeling very ill, and found out that I was pregnant – 10 weeks on the way. I booked an appointment at the doctor, but it wasn´t available until two weeks later. During those two weeks of wainting on the appointment, he dumped me 2-3 times. The first time he didn´t even know why he did it, the second time it was because I was on his facebook and saw him flirt with other girls. We got back together again because I fought for him – again. I took an abortion and he left me again and said that he was going to focus on his music. I was in such pain in 5 weeks because of the abortion, and no one knew about him except for him – and he wasn´t there for me. We got back together again after I begged him for another chance, and he left me again, after two weeks. He accused me of cheating and reasoned that with him having a bad feeling. We got back together again after that, and he left me again a month later. He reasoned that with him not having time, and said that he still loved me and that maybe we could be something in the future. He said I had to work on myself and get over my depression, he didn´t want to be the one helping me with it. I tought it was going to be us again, so I sat at home everyday and waited for him. In the meantime he had sex with a girl that I felt treathened by during the relationship, and the girl that he had talked about. He bought her food, made her feel special and gave her a lot of love, something he never gave me. I found out and confronted him with it, he lied to me and I believed it. But then one of my friends saw him in the city, hand in hand with the same girl. I got heartbroken and blocked him everywhere. During those three weeks of no contact, I was with another guy to get revenge, I partied a lot and was drunk all the time. But then we got in contact again, and we tried to make it work. But we had no trust at all, and the relationship was bad. I got dumped 3-4 times after that, and the last time we decided to start everything with a clean slate and make it work – again. This time he actually changed, and became the guy I wanted him to be for three years. He told me everything about other girls and was really honest, but I was not honest about the things I had done. He had left me 13 times during our whole relationship, and I even got pregnant again, so I was just afraid to be honest because I didn´t want him to leave me again. I lied to him three times, and then he dumped me again. I went trough another abortion, all by myself. I feel like it was my fault that the relationship ended. I shouldn´t have lied to him, but I was afraid. Afraid of being abandoned of the love of my life. I was mentally ruined, and lying to him felt like the best solution right then and there, but it ruined my chance of getting back together with him, and now I feel so guilty. I really need some advice from you guys, I know this was really long but I have been through a lot and I wanted to write down everything. What should I do about the situation? I am so lost..
  9. So me and my ex broke up over a week ago, and we have been in no contact for a week now. But before the breakup, when we were still together, I sent him some money because he had none at that time. I didn´t give him that money so he could give it back to me, but now he has sent them back to me. I don´t want the money, thats the last thing I need from him, so what should I say? I was thinking about saying: I have no need for the money, I did not send them to you so you could give them back. And then I send the money back. If he replies with: just take them, and sends them back again, I was planning on not answering that at all and just let i be. What do you guys think????
  10. My bestfriend is dealing with something right now, and wanted me to ask you guys for advice. She is 19 years old, and has had a major crush on this 5 years older guy, for a long time. They started following each other on Instagram a couple of months ago, and then he suddenly DM’d her. The first time they met, they had sex, and after that they have been meeting up almost everyday. He always gives her compliments, and claims her when they are out in public. He even gets sad or irritated when she has other plans or can’t sleep over one night. He even booked a three-day trip for them to another country, and is paying for everything. The problem Here is that he always talks about his good friends that are girls, he mentions it a lot. It can also go 1-2 days before they even talk again, and he doesnt really text her first or even asks how she is. She is very confused by this, because she really wants a relationship with this guy. Based on What I have written, What do you think his intentions are? And should she ask him What they are?
  11. Me and my ex broke up about one week ago, and we were together for three years (I posted the whole story here). I am 19 years old and he is the only one I have been together with. He is the one I lost my virginity to, and he lost it to me too. He is basically the first one I have done everything and anything with. The break up has had a big impact on me, and I am really starting to feel anxious about the future. I am the type of girl that can not have sex with just anyone, so I know that the next one will be someone that I have been together with for months, and that I have a serious relationship with. But one of the positive things about my ex is that we lost our virginity too each other, as I said. I really loved that I was his first, and maybe his only if it would go that far.. So my problem right now, is that I am thinking a lot about who I am going to meet in the future, and I am so afraid of not meeting a guy that hasn´t had sex with just anyone. I don´t know why this is so important to me and why I am so fixated on it, but I just am. I just feel like most guys or men have had sex with a lot of girls, and I really can´t take that. So my question is, it is possible for me to find anyone in the future that hasn´t had it with a lot of people? if not, how can I get over this fear? I feel really stupid and weird about writing all this, but it is making me so anxious and bothering me a lot. So I really hope that someone can help me..
  12. Me and my ex broke up about 1 week ago, and we were together for three years. It has actually been the easiest to just be home alone, so the “missing” and “wanting him back” part, really shows When I am working or I am outside. I work in a local shopping center right where he lives, so I always see his friends and his family there. I instantly miss him and want to text him When I see them, so you can just imagine how I will feel the minute I see him there while working.. I really don’t know What to do about this, I honestly just want to quit my job and never go back. But I really love my job, and I don’t want him to ruin that. Do you guys have any tips on What I can do to not feel this way? Because I can’t take this anymore..
  13. I was in a relationship for almost three years, and more than 1,5 years of that was really good, like really good. But then the summer vacation came, and my boyfriend travelled with a family member. When he came back, I noticed that something was different, I could feel it. After one month of trying to force it out of him, he finally told med that he didn’t have feelings for me anymore. He broke up with me, and I was devestated and got really depressed and anxious, something I have dealt with long before that. After three months he came back and told me that he only broke up because of personal issues, and I still loved him so I took him back. One week later he broke up again, and a week after that he asked for a second chance - I took him back.. We were together for 10 months after that, and 2 months ago I noticed that something was wrong again; he didn’t do the things he used to, he barely showed me any love, we started seeing each other less. I asked him several times if it was something bothering him, and he always said no. Then one day, I finally got it out of him and he told me: based on all the things you are telling me (about What I dont do anymore) it can seem like I have lost feelings for you. I immediately broke down and got a panick-attack, because I felt like I was in the same situation like the first time, and that broke me. He immediately said that he didn’t mean it that way, but that made things a lot worse, because I felt like he took it back because of my panick-attack and that he felt Sorry for me. I therefore decided to break up with him, and he didnt say anything against it, he just cried like I i’ve never seen him cry before.. I didn’t hear from him after that, and I started to regret on the choice I had made, specially since I did it after the panick-attack, so I clearly wasn’t in the right state of mind. So I texted him yesterday, and we had a long discussion. He told me that based on how much he cried, he loves me and wants to be with me. But in addition to that, he didn’t even wanna think about giving me a second chance, even after I took him back two times last year. He told me that I can’t just throw him away and that it is my fault because I misunderstood what was said. It killed me to hear that, because I am sitting Here with so much guilt that I broke up. But at the same time, it seems like he is blaming me and using me as an excuse to not get back together. In my opinion, if he really loved me, he would not be so stubborn and just throw away the chance I asked him for, when I immediately took him back two times last year. So I am just so confused.. I can’t tell if he isn’t taking the chance because he is stubborn (really really stubborn) but actually wants to be with me, or because he actually doesn’t want to be with me, and therefore has to blame it on me so he doesn’t look like the bad guy. I really need help from someone that I don’t know, that can tell me something about the situation, because I am feeling so bad and I am honestly so confused..
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