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About calisortkid77

  • Birthday 04/06/1987

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  1. So I want to meet up with her and talk to her about everything that happened, but she's been avoiding me. I want to try and work through this or at least make an ultimatum but it's tough when she won't meet up. I feel like this is a conversation that needs to happen in person. I feel so frustrated and hopeless.
  2. You're both right. As far as the drunk driving goes, she has been using my car for a long time, and just started to drunk drive meaning she's escalating. I would never let her use it if I knew she was drunk (she left sober, and returned drunk). That said, I have no intentions of letting her drive my car anymore for the time being as she proved she cannot be trusted with it. I'm going to make a therapy appointment for myself for boundaries, I tried before but the therapist mostly dismissed my concerns wanting to talk about my family and not boundaries or what I wanted to talk about. You're right, I am accepting this insanity as normal, and slowly it gets crazier and crazier. I am in denial, not by how crazy it's gotten but my hope that it will get better. I do love this girl, but I realize I deserve better than the way I'm being treated. It sucks, I really want to work this out, but with her refusing to admit she has a problem I don't think there's anything I can do. I have to talk to her in a bit, and am not even sure what to say to her. She already called me crying earlier asking if I was going to dump her, and that I should just do it and get it over with. She honestly believes she isn't good enough for anyone, and it seems like she acts in a way to try and prove that she isn't worthy of love.
  3. I wouldn't just show up and apologize in person. The ball is in his court. You could text him and ask him if he would like to meet up to talk, or you could apologize in text, but don't just show up out of the blue.
  4. Thank you for the response. I don't intend to let her use my car anymore at least for a while. She's used it for a couple years and only recently drove it drunk (and on the way back so I had no indication she was drunk). I think I'm going to make an appointment for myself, at the very least to help with boundaries. That said, I've tried to go to a therapist before and it was less than ideal: she didn't focus on any of the boundary stuff after I told her I wanted to but kept wanting to get into my past. As far as my girlfriend, I'm really not sure what to do. The combo of drunk driving, jealousy and refusal to get help makes me feel so hopeless. I have to talk to her tonight but I'm not really even sure what to say. I spoke with her very briefly this morning and she apologized but seemed angry at me for calling her out on her actions.
  5. So this is pretty hard for me to admit, but I think that I'm in a codependent, toxic relationship. I've been with my girlfriend for a couple of years, and she's always been depressed, but it's been getting worse. She often tries to quell the feelings with alcohol, which has led to numerous problems as well in the past. In the past, she's wet the bed, herself, and even in a car. I don't want to say it happens often but it happens often enough for it to be an issue (maybe once every few months). The other day, she borrowed my car, and returned and when she came back, she was drunk although she refused to admit it. Then when I called her out on it, she declared I was nagging her, I'm judgmental, etc. Then it escalated to her saying that she's clearly a terrible person and I would be better off without her, then proceeds to list exes and friends of mine she thinks is in love with me (including random people such as sales clerks, waitresses, etc that we had 5 or less minutes of interaction with). I reassured her I love her and wanted to be with her, never cheated nor ever would or even have any desire to, but this isn't the first time she's done this jealousy thing. She's brought it up a lot in the past when drunk and will even occasionally say things like "well you should be with them! They clearly want you and I don't want to ruin your crushes!" Note: I have no desire to be with any of these people she lists. This is always followed by her crying and apologizing, promising it won't happen anymore until it does. I brought up therapy in the past, to which she agreed but never follows through on, and when I attempt to make an appointment, she storms off and avoids me. She promises to cut back drinking, but then that quickly turns into me being a nag and being judgmental for bringing up things like her drunk driving, etc. She recognizes she has a problem but she thinks she can control it and thinks i'm being over-dramatic. My confronting her of drunk driving, soiling herself (and sleeping areas) has the same result. I honestly feel like she cares about drinking more than me, and sees me as an obstacle that conflicts with her fix. I don't know what to do. I love this girl, but I'm feeling drained all the time and pretty hopeless. Is there any salvaging this?
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