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About Reality4me

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  1. I have tried before, maybe I will give it another try. If she just has a preference for talking in non personal ways I suppose we just are not compatible. She seemed so confident and self assured until we declared we were in a relationship. I'm not sure what happened. Maybe she has expectations and I'm not sure I can fulfill her needs.
  2. She is really a great person, but I believe this may be a deal breaker. It just seems like so much work to get to the bottom of what needs to be discussed. She texted her concerns then said she didn't say it to stir things up. I just feel confused and annoyed now.
  3. she said her insecurity is something she needs to handle because she knows it will affect me. Her self confidence is low. she said she does not feel loved. I don't know that I fully understand since she texted everything. we were together for hours yesterday and she didn't say a word then she decides to text everything.
  4. I have been in a relationship for a few months, but I have known her for a couple of years. She really prefers texting more than talking in person or telephone when it comes to serious conversation. I mentioned a while ago that I thought we should not have serious discussions by text. She agreed but lately she has started to just text again. I think she feels it is easier to express herself that way. I find it to be kind of annoying and honestly a turn off. It takes so much more effort to understand what she is feeling and trying to say. we may not even be on the same page, but it is impo
  5. Hello all, You all have been so helpful many times. My ex and I began trying to have some type of contact recently. It was going ok until she began telling me that I'm challenging to get to know and no one will want to deal with me. She said I was going to end up alone and regret not having her. I'm still working on being able to identify when she says manipulative things as opposed to her just being honest. Obviously the comments did not make me feel good, so I'm going back to no contact for my safety and sanity. I am just wondering, are those kinds of statements meant to tear m
  6. I am no longer seeing this person. She still texts me saying she is sorry or explaining why she couldn't continue the relationship. I was actually the one that said let's break up after she accused me of several indiscretions. I sometimes feel guilty about no longer replying to her messages. If I don't reply she'll say I'm emotionally unavailable or rude. Is it rude ? I don't have anything else to say at this point because the relationship was toxic.
  7. You all gave me really great advice. We have separated and I feel so much better. Sometimes I miss the good times but overall I feel I am a better person without that relationship.
  8. I feel enmeshed with my partner. We talk several times daily and there is texting when we are not talking. I have gotten to the point where I desire less contact and more autonomy. Is it possible to fix a codependent, enmeshed relationship while In it or is it best to go our separate ways? I really would like to work on myself. I see a counselor and feel stronger than ever. The difficulty comes when my partner questions changes I've made. The changes are positive, but I suppose change is hard for a significant other.
  9. I definitely appreciate these replies. I honestly have a hard time trying to determine what I should not tolerate at thos point. I guess I am used to bending over backwards to prevent her from being upset with me. You all really help me evaluate this situation objectively.
  10. Perhaps you're right. I think we seem compatible primarily when it is just the two of us. I know we both need other people in our lives.
  11. I had a great weekend with my family. We are all adults so there was dancing, drinking and an all around good time. I went to the bbq alone. When I spoke to my partner again and was telling her about the weekend she was upset. She was mad that I had drinks. I rarely drink and neither does she, so she was bothered. I was not intoxicated. She wanted to know what else we did. I told her there was dancing then she thought that was weird too. She got angry and said everyone else gets the fun me. I am confused because when I do activities with her we mutually agree and there doesn't seem to be
  12. My partner and I have had wonderful times as well as difficult times. Lately I feel like I am still in love but I believe we are not where we need to be individually. I have been going to counseling about being codependent and I really want to work on myself. I feel like I need to be alone to make serious changes regarding my behaviors in relationships. How do I break up with someone I love very much? Do you feel I need to be single and focused on myself to improve any future relationships? Thank you
  13. My partner and I have been together for several years. Overall we are happy but there are times when we argue about small things. My partner was recently diagnosed as bipolar and we believe this is the cause of our arguments. I feel like I may enable some of the behaviors. Will it be better for us to take some time away from the relationship in order to work on our issues? I feel like if we stay together the focus will be on the relationship and not becoming two mentally strong individuals. Thoughts? Thanks
  14. Yes, she gets stressed at times. I can remember her going through a period of decreased drive when she was very busy. I didn't mind because I'm just as content with nonsexual intimacy.
  15. She is 30 and we've been together over 2 years. You made some very good points. I honestly do feel smothered.
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