regal

yes that is very true, unfortunately I will not live my life waiting for that to happen. I am just struggling morally with filing for a divorce. I know that if I file now it is still 90 days till the final divorce. She would be served papers right away though. I keep putting it off, never considered myself a divorcer.

This may sound a little cold, but be thankful your first love ended in a shorter time. My first and only love left me after ten years, I was a basket case and ended up in a bad rebound relation because I was so inexperienced. I saw a post from a guy who married his first love and after 5 years she left. 9 years later the guy was still depressed. I think the first love, the ones we give our virginity to have tremendous power over us. For some that power keeps the relationship together, but if it doesn't let it go now. If there are bad signs, don't try and force it, better to let it go now than to wake up alone 10 years later never having loved anyone else.

Thanks for the advice, luckily I had a prenupt. I was planning on getting a lawyer. Guess there is some stupid part of me that thinks she will sober up and want to come home. BUT I am not going to go there, life is too short to worry about what other people are going to do. I learned a long time ago that our emotions are steered by our thoughts. I keep positive thoughts and I feel pretty good. I was never able to adopt my step daughter, I feel bad for her the most, she really looked up to me I guess because I was the responsible one. But since I didn't adopt her there isn't much I can do for her other than pray. This is a good forum, with a lot of very helpful advice. Glad that I found it and thanks to all those on here that have shared their stories.

She left about 5 weeks ago, went to stay with her family 1200 miles away. Said she needed time. She is an alcoholic and over the summer started doing drugs. She had not done anything like this in the 7 years we were together, she quit but I had a hard time forgiving her. About two week after she left she called saying she didn't want to come home ever. I started the NC. Funny because a wise old man taught me about NC years ago. So I was doing great, working on my hobbies, going out with a few friends, etc. Well about a couple weeks later she called and said she wanted to come home and needed gas money. My step daugher (who i raised since she was 1) draws a picture with the three of us and our dog and sends it to me. I was all excited. Well the check gets there and wife says she is broke after a day and I was mad then she said she never wants to come home. I tell her I will start a divorce. She seemed OK with it and says she will sign the papers. Now I am somewhat down. This was two days ago. I had done just fine after she left, living with an alcoholic wasn't easy. She would start drinking at 10AM. She was a very loving person, but I had grown cold toward her. I am asking for advice on two things I want NC but don't want to lose contact with my stepdaughter as I am the only father she knows and she means the world to me as I have no other children. Also how long should I wait until I file divorce, in this state you have to wait 90 days till the divorce is final.