azveganchik

Just be careful with the snooping....I started doing it a while ago and it has been harder for me to stop than smoking....it is like an addiction so just be careful that it doesn't get too far because you will always be wanting to look and make sure that nothing is going on and it will eat at you until you do. I totally understand where you are coming from, I just wouldn't want you to make yourself unhappy over this if there is nothing to be unhappy about.

That is a very good poem...it really makes you think.

Wow, this sounds like how I used to feel. My fiancee never cheated on me physically but him and his ex were talking to eachother for the first half of our relationship so far, and they weren't just being friendly. I found out what was going on and I was so hurt. I still am suffering from it actually. If he is hiding things from you, that is not a good sign. It may be because he is being stubborn and really likes his privacy but it sounds like there is something else there. Everyone is different and it is easier for me to say this since I am not in your situation, but I would get out before you are hurt again and before you lose any more self respect. If you would like to talk you can message me.

I don't think that you would have anything to worry about based on what you say the emails were. I personally would have just wanted him to let me know that he had contacted her. That is probably why you feel like there is something wrong with the situation. Maybe sit your husband down and just make sure that he knows that he can tell you anything and maybe that will persuade him or remind him that that is something you would want to know. Good luck.

Thank you for your advice. I guess I just keep thinking that I am just being weak and that I can fix it myself....I think I am just going to have to admit that I may not be able to and go see a doctor because I dont know much longer I can handle this. Thank you so much again.

Well I cannot speak for all women but the things that I want are HONESTY, compassion, openness, someone to help me get through the hard times and that will let me do the same thing for them.

So I have in the past been a very happy calm person but the last couple years have been different. I have progressively started to worry about things more and more whether it be about my fiancee or money or my job or my family. I can't turn my phone off because I am afraid someone will be hurt and need me. The other day I got upset because my fiancee didn't call me right when he went on lunch like he usually does. At first I was thinking maybe something bad happened to him, but then i started thinking thoughts about him possibly doing something that would hurt me. I don't remember the last time I have been relaxed and I am so tense that my back hurts all the time. It is ruining my relationship because I trust my fiancee but these crazy thoughts come in my head and I obsess and dwell on them until I get sick to my stomach. I am having panic attacks lately and I find it difficult to breathe often, especially with Christmas coming and being so worried about money. My fiancee is getting tired of me being upset and worried all the time, and so am I. I dont know what to do and I feel like I am going crazy or something. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been through this kind of situation? Thank you.

Thank you all again. I think I will just start doing my own thing and being more independent. I have just made him my whole life and it is really unhealthy. I have been hurt before in a relationship and it has caused me to be one of those girlfriends that will bend over backwards to do whatever he wants thinking that will make him want me even more, but i think it is just pushing him away, and I hate the fact that I am not taking care of myself at all because I am so interested in pleasing him. I just wish I never would have gotten in this cycle that I am in because it is a really hard thing to fix. I just need to figure out who i am again.

I have told him that I don't mind if he watches it occasionally, and when i said that i feel he is choosing it over me, he said that sometimes he is just too tired to have sex or makes up excuses like that. The problem is that I don't want to have a problem with it....I want to be ok with him watching it within reason, and to do that I need to stop comparing myself to the women and not take it personally that he is watching it. I just want to be secure with myself. I hope that came out right. Thank you for your advice.

Hi, I am having a problem with codependency and self esteem. I have somehow gotten to a point where I depend my self esteem on how my fiancee acts and feels towards me. He watches porn on a regular basis, and although I wouldnt really have a problem with him watching it once in a while lately he hasnt seemed interested in having sex as often as usual and I blame it on myself thinking there is something wrong with me and I am feeling really bad about myself....Does anyone have any pointers for my situation and to help me not depend so much on how he acts to determine how I feel about myself. Also, does anyone else have this porn problem? Thank you.

Good idea. He has just not seemed as interested in me as usual. He has been stressed out because we have had alot of things going on in our lives lately, but it just seems like we are not very close right now.

Well I don't really suspect that is what is going on. I think I am just paranoid because he hasn't seemed very interested in wanting to be intimate lately. We live together and there is not really oppurtunity for infidelity because we are usually together except when he comes home for lunch during the day. I don't really think he would cheat I guess what I am really wondering if maybe he is just interested in someone else.

I was just wondering what signs (if any) anyone who has cheated has given off, or anyone who has been cheated on has noticed of their partner. I know that everyone differs but I am sure there are some tell tale signs that are given off. I was just curious. Thank you.

No I didnt make him delete it. I didnt even ask him to or suggest it. He said that it was a problem with his ex and that she did make him get rid of it and I am reminding him of her (pretty sure that one was said just to get to me because he knows i have a big problem with her.) He said that he resented her for it and I said "I never asked you to get rid of it" and he said "its always going to be a problem if he didnt". I really don't mind if he watches porn...like i said I told him as long as it doesnt get out of control or hurt any aspect of our relationship then I am ok with it. This time it is. And he refuses to talk to me right now which is literally driving me crazy.

Hi everyone. I am engaged to the man that I have been with for 3 years. We got in a fight the other day because he has all this porn on his computer which I told him is fine unless it gets in the way of our relationship, or our sexual relationship. He agreed to this and things were fine. Well for the past week he has not been interested in sex even when i initiate it and I asked him if he had been looking at porn even though he didnt want to have sex with me and he said yes and that sometimes he is just too tired to have sex. So I was really upset and he told me that he was going to resent me because he deleted all of his porn off his computer. I didnt ask him to do that but he did anyway. So now he won't talk to me or look at me or anything and I dont know what to do. I am not good with not talking about problems and just letting them fester inside me. What should I do?