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About Wally1066

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  1. @catfeeder. Thanks. Great advice. @thisisrichey Thanks, but I don't really agree. This wasn't my first choice of location, but it wasn't a bad option. I had assumed that she was asking me to move here in good faith. Wrongly, it turned out, but I didn't know that when I was making the decision. I don't see anything wrong with making compromises for a relationship as long as the other person is willing to do the same. @nutbrownhare. Thanks. Sorry you went through this too. @delacrank Thanks, I honestly appreciate your reaching out but I don't think that this kind of pseudoscience is very hel
  2. I am a guy. Can I ask how old you both are? As a guy it seems clear to me that he is not ready to start planning for a future together. I don't think that it is exactly the same as saying the he doesn't want a future together, but if I am being completely honest it doesn't look great to me in terms of long term potential. For me it comes down to age. If you are young (for me this means under thirty) and you really like this guy then maybe give it some time and see if he is ready to make a firmer commitment in six months or a year. If you are older (say 35+) and he is not even willing t
  3. I recently broke up with my GF of ~5 years. We had had a long distance relationship for much of that time. A bit over a year ago we moved to the same state, though not the same city. I moved here largely at her urging -- I was just beginning graduate school, and I had been planning on going somewhere else, but she convinced me that we needed to be near each other. So I moved to be near her and she started giving me the cold shoulder as soon as I get here. I was not allowed to meet her friends, and within six months of moving here I get dumped. This is, to be honest, not really a surprise.
  4. I don't want this to sound harsh, but if you cling to "that little hope" then you have not "Said goodbye forever". That little hope is going to be the little worm gnawing at the roots of all of your future relationships. Everyone feels that way at first and you need time to make it go away, so you need to set some rules for yourself (and for your ex) that will make that possible. Delete their number, block them, set some rules and then follow them to the letter. Don't allow yourself any exceptions because it is your birthday or her birthday or you're drunk or whatever. Anyway we all know what
  5. I had this happen as a dumpee. Honestly I initially went NC with my dumper as a game to try to get her back, which (I thought that) I desperately wanted. She contacted me a substantial amount of time later (more than a year). She actually had to contact my work to get my new phone number, as I had moved and not shared my new contact info with her. I was surprised to find that, although I wasn't dating anybody I wasn't really interested in getting back together. Maybe that is the flip side: once I knew that I COULD get her back it became less attractive. Hope this helps.
  6. I would suggest talking to a therapist if you can afford it / your health insurance will cover it. I had a similar thing happen once but my insurance at the time covered exactly two therapy sessions. I think that not having anyone to talk to set back my healing a lot.
  7. What is the context: are you interested? Does he seem interested? Is this a card just from you, or are others involved? Is it a work situation? Hard to say without more detail but generally if he gives you a card that says "Archie xoxo" then you are probably safe giving him one that says "Veronica xoxo"
  8. @ThatwasThen It sounds like it is typically my g/f and the three of them, but I have never specifically asked. I am also not sure about the guy's g/f: I don't know that she hasn't been around. My gf mentions other names from time to time, so it is not just the three, but they seem to be the main players. One of them could be the guy's g/f I suppose. As far as why: she did say something about how it would be awkward since the two women (her friend from college and the friend's roommate) "aren't into LTRs" but this just seemed like a bull non-answer answer to me (and honestly this "explanation
  9. @WombatShadow Again we've just moved to the state, but I have made friends outside of the GF. I went out with a few guys I've been hanging out with in my gf's city, and she came out with us. It certainly doesn't feel to me like I am being smothering. The situation has been going on maybe six months, but I didn't really worry about it for a long time since we do live in different cities. It is only recently that it has started to worry me.
  10. No, sorry, to clarify. I have met her family and many of her friends. We've recently moved to a new state. I have nog met the people she has been hanging out with since the move. One is a friend of hers from college and the other two people she met through that friend. It has been maybe six months that she has been friendly with them.
  11. It is your breakup. I think that you should do what you need to get over this relationship and get to a good place. I will say that I went NC out of the blue after getting tired of some of the things the ex-gf who dumped me was doing. (Side note: calling up your ex and expecting him to provide emotional support when the dude you dumped him continues to be exactly the jerk he always was should be considered a crime against humanity). I maintained NC through several attempts on her part to get back together. I never regretted the decision to go NC or the decision to ignore attempts to get back t
  12. I feel pretty sure that I am reading this situation correctly, but I would love to have some independent confirmation. My gf of 4 years and I have just moved to same state, but different cities. She says we are soul-mates, talks about our future together, BUT... We are about 30-45 minutes drive/train ride apart. While we see each other frequently she has friends in her city that I am not allowed to meet. At first when I said that I wanted to meet her friends she would kind of joke, and say that when we are together she wants me all to herself. But when I pressed and said that I'd really
  13. That sucks. I am sure it must be hard. You need to stop trying to get with her romantically and get a little emotional distance. I would recommend that you be polite but firm, tell her that you need some time and some distance to think about things. I wouldn't tell her at this point that you can't be friends: I am not sure that you are in a good position now to be making permanent decisions. Don't talk to her for at least a few months: no phone calls, no texts, nothing. I strongly suspect that she will start contacting you frequently. If you give in to this you'll be back in the same cycle.
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