milano

i agree with popo..believe adn great things will happen. the best things in life happen when u least expect them. when u dont want somethin u get it, also when you want somethin u dont get it. the power of the mind is incredible..why do u think self made millionares are so successful? they only get richer and richer huh? tahts becasue when u have soemthin u get more of it. u got problems..u'll get more of that too, so what to do? say they are not problems and treat them as lil things that can be conquered because u are confident and happy

i agree..u did the right thing in ur case. be strong and dont think u did a bad choicein doing so k? u have to make urself seem a lil more hard to get..it will make him pursue you..which is what needs to be done since hes the one that ended the relationship. take things slow from here and if u play it right..u might just get him back. use his doubts and insecurity, confusion against him..go with it tell him hes right..and he will doubt himself and say nooi want to be with you and i can work it out

yeah true you knew you were gonna call so im sure ya made sure you dialed her number after a few times of thinkin bout it! either way..g luck to you..and hopefully she was sad to hear from you. if its first tiem since the break up that she has heard ur voice..im sure it got to her. adn jsut remember..they dotn have to answer if they dont want to..take that in consideration too

yea i exactly know what you mean!!!

some more backgroudn on the relationship and break up would be essential to decide whats goin on. but im feelin ya man, i called my ex on thanksgivin to wish her a good one..and it was the first tiem we heard each others voices in awhile but i sounded happy as can be..and she like ur ex sounded kinda down. i expected a more happy and casual chat at least..since she is kinda loud person haha, so that threw me off as to why she would sound liek that. i cant really tell you why she sounded liek taht..she broek up with me in my situation so thats what kinda got to me too..i expected a more happier her you could say. either way dont read into it too much cause it could be that she jsut felt awkard or soemthin i dunno..or they could actaully miss us..which would be good for us

oh didnt realize she was with another fella sorry i guess i missed that part. well either way it dont matter..if she with someone else and still wants to talk to you..i would think thats good cause most of times girls dont want to talk to their exs when they in new relationships..and if you two broek up on good terms and the relatinship wasnt bad, then she might be realizing how much ya meant to her. well ya can give it more time to see if hse calls..and if she does answer, if she dont..then ya can give her a call to say whats up

thats good, ur more unavailable and its workin on her pysche. shes rechin out to you more now..id say just contact her, if your ready to talk that is..dont get nervous..be confident say whats up uve been busy..talk a bit..then say ya gotta go and ttyl. it will frustrate her a bit but at least she talked to ya..shes gonna want more! just keep doin what ur doin..its obviously workin

i guess i cant really prove you cause i still havnet gotten back together with my ex..but im pretty sure its a lil of both and more. i have recently found that a prior ex i was with has been really interested in hangin out with me..and thats because i put everythin aside and just let things be..stayed happy to everything..and made improvements in myself and now i just see it as a learning experience cause i wouldnt want to get back with her..particulary cause i didnt love her. time and distance will do a lot!!! that is important i think to gettin back with an ex. its not really a game..ya just have to move on and let them be, if they miss you im sure, and those that have gotten back with their exs can validate this, tehy will begin to understand how much you mean to them/love them and then they will turn around if they can get past thier mistake and pride. if not, then it wont happen. theres no luck in love! think positive and good things will happen.

dont worry, im glad to be of help. "we all get along with a lil help from our friends"-the beatles well ya dont have to clse it..as you will see when you keep up with the no contact shes gonna reach out to you eventually.dont respon, but give it time till you feel what is right to do. after some good time has passed and you can contact her without gettin ur emotions into it, then answer back. keep coo head, be smart, be confident and she will notice that and you will see the outcome of that im sure. g luck and take care for now

im sorry break up vet, but i ahve to tell ya that ive read all of ur posts on this thread so far and i can tell ya that its ur fault why this keeps happening..ur allowin it too. she ahs reached that comfort level to keep you around as a friend..and all the affection part you say you two get into..well its because you allow it too. remember tyhat women want what they cant have. as for why she seems to want to get in contact with you more when you initiate nc..its for that reason, she wnats what she cant have..but then you appear and she has you agian..and back again to old routine. thats what it is..a routine between you too. ur not psychic because you knew she owuld call you after threee days every time..its because it was ROUTINE. you relaly have to open ur eyes here and stop lettin her do what she id doin..i think most people havent replied to you on this as this seems to be ur journal or somethin. u keep rantin on and on about the same thing. oh somethin good happened..oh somethin bad happened..and so on. you gonna have to be man enough to put ur foot down and say enough is enough!! if you dont liek what im tellin you..then u got more issues within yourself that you need to handle..but im tellin you as a spectator to ur situation. a lot of tiems we are blind in our own situations and other people see more clearly what is goin on because they dont see it from the inside but from the outside of the whole. i would really reccomend you really say NC..and leave it at that. u say you gonna do it and you break it everytime. and dont say ''but its cause she contacts me"!! ya really need to back off. and this wholte htin aoubt you goin out with her all the time..BIG NO NO. you are just gettin her accustomed to you being there and if it seems like you are together again..its because she is comfortable with just bein friends and havin the benefits too. also remember that you are makin urself way too available to her..very unattractive, also you are pampering her when you two arent even together!! a lil critical word of advice..dont spoil her as she obviously has gotten used to it..hell she even told ya you shouldnt have bought her the phone. u can keep on veinting on and on..but it will never stop unless you take notice of the situation..stand back and view it as it was happeneing to a friend. you'll see that ur gonna kick urself in the *** when you realize whats goin on. sorry to be real, but tahts what it takes for someoen to see things...reality, the truth. g luck and do urself that favor

congrats..and may ur example serve all of us well! keep doin what ur doin..dont just stop cause ya have him back..be more cautious ok? fro the rest of us..see it goes to prove taht if there was a love in the relationship at one point..it can alway sbe rekindled i believe..and for some of us it may seem our ex is not even thinkin of us or has moved on..but if the break up was clean and not over somethin severe..then i believe they do think of us whether they like to or not..cause they cant erase those memories from their head, right popo? its a matter of givin time i guess for them to liv eon their own a bit and see what they missin..good luck to us all, but remember keep the confidence in yourself and unexpected things will happen

new to this site, but thought id jump right in the flow of things. what events led up to her breakin up with you? if you feel that she loved you, then those feelings jsut wont go away that easy..she still thinks of you no matter how much she may be busy or try not to. im sure she is not busy 24/7! if she said she dont want to get back or just stay friends..then you msut respect that..if ya dont, ya give her more reason for her not to. just accept what she has to offer ya for now if ya really want her in your life..if ya cant handle being friends with her..then dont, or simply tell her that you still have feelings for her and it would be pretty difficult for you at this point. she will understand im sure. ur pain is common as ya can tell by other people on this forum inc myself. one thing i truly believe is taht you must have the right state of mind in order to help urself with this situation..stay positive and ya can do it. if ya want to break contact..do so because ya want to say hi..dont do it if you gonna get all sad and miss her more..be happy

i took the time to read ur post, and i believe the reasoning can be applied to any situation and person no matter how stubborn or prideful. the mind is the greatest muscle we have..if we learn to use it to our advantage we will become powerful, hence; "knowledge is power". i can understand why it seems unnatural to just agree with all of the things ur lover, ex, may say..but if nothin else is workin then why wouldnt one want to try it? in a confrontation we tend to want to get our point accross and are so set on our point of view that we even grow frustrated if we dont get it accross. this is due to the fact taht we all want to be heard and understood, especially women as ive noticed if we can agree and show that we understand someone..they will respect us and feel good that they are being 'heard'. think of it as a debate: two sides desperately tryin to prove their point..rarely do they ever meet at the middle neautral side because they are set with their view and ya aint gonna change it. now if ya agree with them and show that you see their reasoning..you make them feel really good about themselves, and in doin so they feel better about you, am i correct? well if they have no desire to argue anymore..then what is left but to stop? im not clear however if this has worked for yourself..which ya might want to clarify if it made ya get ur ex back as to that is the main goal of most people here