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About haileym

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  1. Hi! Thanks to everyone who's kept up with my posts, I'll keep this one short. My ex for a long time had been kind of stringing me along and she always knew I wanted her back. She'd always ask for space. Finally, the other week, I just got to the point where I asked her to be honest with me about her feelings so I could move on from her. She never ignored any of my messages before, she'd actually respond within minutes before so this was strange, I was expecting her to be honest and tell me to move on. After that, I realized I was just so exhausted from analyzing every situation with her and
  2. I think it's hard to wrap your head around the fact that someone who once had all the love and care for you in the world has now taken a good, hard look at everything you are and thought "No thanks, I think I'm better off without you." It hurts because, yes, rejection breeds obsession. It's so difficult to not analyze every aspect of where you could have gone wrong or what the breadcrumbs mean. Something I think about when I'm in pain over the fact that the person I thought loved me completely decided that she doesn't anymore is that you can't erase your mistakes without erasing some of the b
  3. Honestly, I do wish I'd just kept no contact. I feel like it would have made things a lot easier, but in a way I guess I'm happy because now everything is out on the table and I see her for who she is and can start to heal, as much as I wish I didn't have to. Rjw, you're right. It's the strangest feeling thinking you know someone so well and that they'll always care for you and be truthful. I always thought that I was the exception, and that even if we weren't dating she could at least be honest and we could someday be friends. It will catch up to her, it's true. And she's very alone in life
  4. Hey again! I've posted on here before, so if you need more background there are other threads on it. Almost 2 weeks ago, I met up with my ex for the first time since the break up. It was really nice, we went on a walk and didn't talk about the relationship. We continued texting every day, but she seemed off. At first I thought I was just being too sensitive since talking to an ex again is never easy or simple. But I talked to her about it anyway, and she said she was feeling off because she felt she still hadn't had enough space and needed more time to herself to be herself, to find out what
  5. Things went well, we hung out for a couple of hours until she had to leave for a big family dinner. We didn't talk about the relationship at all, and she still seems like the same person as when we were together. She isn't hanging out with anyone new and still does all the same things as she did before, which is comforting. It was a nice time, I'm not really sure how to proceed from here but I'm happy that seeing her went well. Hopefully I'll see more of her in the future now that she knows she can hang out with me without it turning into a huge relationship talk. She had lots to talk about
  6. Hey! It's been a little bit So as a quick update, my ex and I were no contact for almost a month. She still looked at all of my photos online and liked everything I posted, but still said she needed space. I ended up breaking nc with her, as I've improved upon myself immensely and wouldn't be crushed if she weren't up for communicating. However, when I asked her if she wanted to catch up, she responded almost immediately and said yes. So, we worked out a day and it's tomorrow. We're in limited contact right now, and she actually initiated a conversation with me today which I'm happy a
  7. When your ex broke up with you, how long did it take for them to initiate contact? Did you go NC? If so, for how long? Maybe this will give some people in NC, like me, something to read and think about
  8. If you become a couple again, then you can ask her to get tested. For now, you haven't asked her to meet up yet. Also, maybe you should consider not having sex until things are more steady anyway. Sex could just confuse things for her (and you) and potentially wreck the progress. Treat it like a first date, respect yourself, and her, enough not to take her home right away.
  9. Hoping someday I can post a happy ending for myself on here. My closest friend had been dating her boyfriend for just over 1.5 years when he suddenly ended things with her saying that he couldn't see a future with her anymore and that they were going in different directions. He also felt that since they'd spent so much time together that he'd lost a bit of himself. So, he hung out with friends, played music and moved on with his life while my friend was left completely devastated. She tried begging and pleading with him for the first week or so after the breakup, but he remained certain in
  10. I think a text might be less threatening to his ex than an unexpected call. Instead of catching her off guard and putting her on the spot, it would give her a minute to think about it and respond. It also might be easier if they previously communicated a lot over text. I know that if one of the exes that I've broken up with called me out of the blue wanting to hang out I'd be a little weirded out and unsure of how to respond. I think I'd be more open to a text message, but that could just be me
  11. I think that asking her for coffee is a good idea, she mentioned that she still loves you. She probably hoped you had moved on so that the breakup wouldn't be useless. That, or, she mentioned that so she wouldn't sound desperate in admitting that she still loved you to your mutual friend. I think you should message her in whatever way you two normally used to, and just casually say something along the lines of "Hey, hope you're doing well. Would you want to grab a cup of coffee and catch up sometime soon?" The fact that she loves you and mentioned in the past that there was hope for you
  12. Thanks for all of the comments so far! I do agree that I can't base my life and progress on the fact that my ex liked one of my photos and views my social media. I also realize that I can't take it as a sign of much. I was only thrown off a bit because she was adamant about her need for space and hasn't looked at, or liked, anything of mine since the breakup. She's still viewing my things which is kind of reassuring in the way that she's interested enough to look at it and not just completely ignore me forever. I'm not planning on blocking her on social media as it's my only way of prov
  13. That's true. At first, she blocked me on certain social media platforms because she thought it would be too painful to see my new photos without her, and that they would make it harder for her to move on. Anyway, she did add me back after we talked about it. I guess since our relationship basically ended because she felt that she was my only source of happiness and because she believed that my ideal relationship would be me hanging out with only her all the time, I wanted to use my social media as a way to showcase that I was making changes in a positive direction. I told her I would work on t
  14. Hey, guys, it's been a couple of days! So it's been a week of no contact, which is what my ex wanted. She asked for space, and there's more on that in my other threads. Anyway, on social media, I've posted a few photos since the breakup. Nothing to make her jealous, just nice photos of the things I've been doing with my friends (hikes, lake visits, etc.). Yesterday I posted another photo of me and some of my friends, and for the first time, she liked it. She also viewed some of my videos for the first time. I know it sounds pretty desperate of me to be looking into it as much as I am, it's
  15. You're right! I also think there may be a pattern in the way that once she gets what she wants, then it was me no longer fighting the "breakup", and this time me honouring her request for space, she starts to second guess things. I also do agree with your pattern on our behaviour. I think she does have problems with communication, she is a through and through people pleaser. That kind of attitude doesn't always work in a relationship, though. I also get that my insecurities probably contributed to that and created an environment where she felt like she couldn't express her need for independ
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