I've been doing a lot of research lately (mainly looking at forums such as this one) to find out about shyness and how to converse with girls, etc. Most of the posts I read, guys are talking about the trouble they are having talking to a certain girl they like, but a lot of them also say that they've had at least one girlfriend previous to their current situation.
My situation, however, seems a lot worse than any of the ones I've read about. Not only have I never had a girlfriend, but I can honestly say that I have not, in my life, had one girl that I could have ever called a friend. I've been extremely shy all my life, but I think I may be finally beginning to improve. One of my problems was the fact that I never did anything, I just sat around playing computer games every day, but I've stopped that a couple months ago, and am now trying to become more socially active.
Also, the people whose posts I have read actually have supportive friends; friends that tell them that they are good looking or advise them to ask the girl they like out. But I have realized that I'm never sensitive with any of my friends, and I keep all of my emotions to myself. I know that I am really a lot more sensitive than I act, but for some reason I am afraid to show it.
That, in part, contributes to the difficulty I have talking to girls. Like I said, I haven't had a single girl that I could call my friend in my life, and it's really starting to become depressing - I really am looking for love, but until then, at least in the meantime someone I can have a good time with. This post isn't about a particular girl I like, because there really is no one girl that I like (though there was one who I wrote a love note to and she has since then ignored me). I pretty much develop a crush on any girl who I find physically attractive and she so much as makes a few words of small talk or smiles at me, or some other equally insignificant encounter.
I have no one that I can talk to my problems about (which is obviously why I am posting here). I don't feel I have any connection with my parents or friends. The only person I talk to about it is my cousin online, and she can only help so much.
I have little confidence, and no apparent means of encouraging myself. Speaking of myself, I might consider myself above-average looking, but I would really rather have an opinion from a girl at my school. I try to be nice, especially to girls, but my inability to show my emotions makes it quite dificult to actually form any kind of friendship with anyone. Come to think of it, none of the friends that I do have are too close, and now that I've stopped living in computer game worlds I'm starting to realize how damaged my life in the real world has become.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.
