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Badbuffyboo

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  1. Badbuffyboo
    I think the crux of the matter is , if you have to lead, it's the manner in which you do it. Driving people is unfair.....it's always easier to catch flys using honey rather than vinegar. I have managerial post in work but my philosphy is and the staff know it. A, I won't ask anyone to do anything I wouldn't be prepared to do myself. B, I will only ask for help if I am busy, I won't sit on my a** and expect them to run around me. I think it's best to lead by example. Be fair and you can't fail.
  2. Badbuffyboo
    To Crushed_rejected. Your name says it all....... Deep down you must know that it 's all over. Some men just can't face the truth and will tell you what they think you want to hear. You talk of his eyes, when he came top see you....... If he still cares for you, yes he's going to look pleased and if he's after a little affection, he's hardly going to call by and say that he's not missed you. It's hard but you have to accept it.
  3. Badbuffyboo
    I had a B/F who did the same. We lived together and one day he told me he was going on a course..... he disappeared for a week ( the worse thing was, that he is an unstable diabetic and I didn't know whether he was alive or dead) he arrived back clutching a bottle of Lucozade saying he needed time to sort himself out. He called over, phoned, emailed and text me for months telling me he loved me and wanted me to wait for him to make his mind up. Several months of mental torture drove me mad. Someone put it in perspective tho....he was only calling cos he felt guilty.....he knew he was never coming back..he just wanted me as his safety net.....and he felt guilt because of it. 3 and a half years later he still rings when he is ill ( last call was Wednesday) but I keep it brief, make sure he is recovering and then leave him to it. I have moved on with my life.......have a guy that is honest, sometimes brutally, but I know where I stand with him. It's all partof life's rich tapestry. It's not easy but you'll be a stronger person afterwards. Honestly!
  4. Badbuffyboo
    Have you thought about it from a different perspective. Take the gender thing out of the equation. In the dance class ..you are the lead..your partner has to follow.......it's just like a manager telling his employees what to do. It depends how you do it. You can be abusive or respectful. If your partner knows you respect them, then they won't mind following your instructions on the dance floor. As for the comments on women liking domination....you should look on the web..there are an awful lot of men who want to be treated badly. And I mean badly......most women don't go in for that level of degradation. Women who like to be told what to do.......don't get off on nastiness....if a man is taking care of you he will look after you and advise......it's a big difference from being abused. I was married to a very weak man who couldn't make a decision.......after 13 years I got fed up of being the one with all the responsibilities..I'm now in a relationship where we both take decisions......it's about respect, sharing and caring......not about Dominance and submission. And girls that let you make all the decisions..... well boys..... either they are manipulating you into what they want..or they are lulling you into a false sense of security..... girls always get what they want in the end!!! Face it, accept it, get over it!
  5. Badbuffyboo
    .As long as the ladies with whom you go out a, are aware that you are not looking for long term commitment, I think it's more than fine to date someone you don't feel romantically involved with. Have fun Buffyboo x
  6. Badbuffyboo
    Hello again, You seem smitten by his attentions to you.........can't blame you, we've all been there. Enjoy it while it lasts if you want.........but don't be overly surprised when you get a call saying he can't make this week because....?????..... and you will get the call........ If he hasn't got the energy for a relationship, what is he doing playing happy families with you? Does he want a woman on a string that he can pull when he has the energy? Again if you are happy with that , go for it.....but make sure you are strong enough for when the string breaks! We all deserve happiness and fun........If you just want to ride the wave that he's come in on for the time being , go for it, live for now and have fun, make yourself smile. Just don't read anything into it that isn't there, you'll make yourself miserable........and when you ask questions on a site like this be prepared that you may not like the answers! Keep smiling Buffy x
  7. Badbuffyboo
    If you haven't already done so...start with digital stills..............you can work out your lighting from that........ Then before you go for the big sex scene.....record short sections with one of you holding the cam......you can work out perspectives and stuff that way....... If you want a full on scene...then you'll need a tripod..........but if you have done your background work, you'll know the best place for the tripod. Lighting is very important............you need lots of it and it sometimes detracts from the moment........but romantic dim lights won't work. Good luck have fun.........and make sure you both sign disclaimer forms..... if you are worried about ever seeing your exploits broadcast...then don't do it! Buffy xx
  8. Badbuffyboo
    Hello again, How to move on and stay with the same guy? Well you make the decision that your health (and it does affect your health) is more important. You tell him that you love him too........but that if he wants to sleep around then you can't see him anymore. It's either all or nothing. If he decides he'd rather play the field, then you won't miss him anyway.....he was only ever going to make you cry........and you don't need that, you need a partner that respects you. Some people are cool with 'open relationships'. They don't work for everyone.......I've tried it myself........and I just tormented myself. For me , now ..and it has taken me years to get here.....I have boundaries and they are there for my safety...and if my fella doesn't like it....then he knows where the door is. I love him but no one will ever make me ill again. Self preservation has to kick in Sweetheart. Take care Buffy
  9. Badbuffyboo
    Sorry sweetheart, but have you ever heard of 'having your cake and eating it'? I've been there done that.........and you are the one that will get hurt. I did it when I was a teenager....19 actually, with my ex of 2 years and 8 months.......(I can't be that old I remember the details).....We were 'seeing' each other without anyone knowing and having our own 'freedom' as well........It didn't work and I moved out of the area to make sure there would be NC at all. I was married for 13 years to a very nice guy........we are still friends but the thought of sleeping with him makes my skin crawl.My next partner left me after 2 years saying he loved me and just wanted to sort his head out......6 months of torture by him... calls telling me he loved me but couldn't be with me....dropping in on his way home from work.......but not letting me hold him or anything........I was on the edge....and fell off it.......the final push was finding out he was really seeing someone else......he'd been unfaithful when we lived together, but I forgave him......3 days on a heart monitor in hospital later......and I had enlightenment. I moved on..........but thats 6 months I'll never get back...that my memories are sketchy of.....except the pain...I remember the pain.He keeps in touch and so do a couple of ex flings.... but it is all entirely platonic..... If he loves you enough....then you are enough.........As far as I can see , he's trying to keep his options open. As my ex was doing........ Make YOU the priority and not him. Keep smiling Buffy x
  10. Badbuffyboo
    Do you think she only gets friendlier when you've been distant to her. There are a lot of people out there, men and women........who only want something they think they might not get. I'm not saying she's deliberately playing with your feelings........maybe the thought of losing you completely, jolts her into wanting you but once she has you she doesn't know what to do. After this length of time, you'd hope she'd have sorted her feelings out. I wish you luck.
  11. Badbuffyboo
    It's a personal thing. I've met people purely for sex....but there has to be something there. My currnet partner and the one before him were meant to be 'one night stands' but something clicked. I've also met men and had sex and whilst the physical was ok.....if you aren't on the same mental plane.........it's just not good. And no......I'm not promiscuous ..........I was married 13 years and was completely faithful...... but hey, once I was free....didn't I deserve to see what was on the market.......and sometimes you just have to sample the goods . No good finding out after you've got really involved with someone , that the sex is rubbish........it's an important part of a healthy relationship. Hey....if we are counting....... I'm 37 and I've only had 8....... !
  12. Badbuffyboo
    Hi there, bipolar is a depressive illness.......where the sufferer will be really sad for a while and then unexpectedly too happy. You'd think happy would be a good thing but sometimes the happy can make you do things that you wouldn't normally do. It's not easy to suffer from or live with.
  13. Badbuffyboo
    I've been in my LDR for 2 and a half years. It's not been easy, not having him here to lean on when I'm feeling pathetic being one. I have kids but they are from my marriage(divorced 4 years) and I find it hard being a single parent. On the plus side........when I'm getting fed up of having him under my feet, I know he'll be going home soon and I'm gonna get my space back. If we are still together when our kids have finished school , then maybe we can live somewhere together..........but for now, the kids come first. And one of it's plus points is that we still make an effort for each other.....I don't remember making myself look pretty for my hubby after 2 and a half years.........hey maybe that's where I went wrong....lol
  14. Badbuffyboo
    Hello there, the question you asked 'is he losing interest'. The answer to that very well may be 'yes'......but that doesn't mean he wants to call it quits. For the first 6 months of any relationship..you are still getting to know each other, the first flush of love and attraction is there...........it's unrealistic to think that it lasts forever. I know that his lunchtime calls were nice for you, but most men do not carry on as they started.and us girlies need to accept that. My fella was the same, for the first 6 months , he'd call frequently, visit unexpectedly and I was swept off my feet.....now.. nearly 3 years later, he calls when he feels like and turns up when he's arranged to. it's not as exciting but we still have fun. If he is as popular as you say he is.......at least you are the girl he wants to be his girlfriend.....he's not taken any of the options that have presented themselves so far. Relax and enjoy the time you have together,
  15. Badbuffyboo
    Hello there Dish, I have suffered from depression and anxiety for many years.....not constantly but frequently. Has anything happened to you recently that could have made you change the way you feel about things? People react to situations differently, are you worried about anything? The people you call your friends, should understand you and accept that we all have phases in our lives that are difficult. I have a friend that I have known since I was 4...... and thats a long time now.......and she just used to be able to get a smile out of me when no one else could. I only see her once a year now, we've got our own lives ....but I know that should I need her , she'll be there....and it works both ways. You only need one person to really understand you, many friends are great but not essential. If I can help in any way, call on me........ I have broad shoulders and am always willing to listen, sometimes you just need to get stuff off your chest. Take care sweetie Buffy xx
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