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Ross88

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  1. Been trying to forget her but waking up through the night and morning and the pain is strong thinking about her and the new guys shes seeing. It doesn't help that I have sexual problems that makes me down too so she can do things with them that I cant. Just feel so empty. I spoke to a girl who's a trainee psychiatrist about my issues and it hasn't really helped. She suggested medication which will just make me more numb and empty. Keep getting anxiety that someday soon I'll see her again and another wound will be opened
  2. I am going to go to one when I next can but im not in the city where my gp is at the minute. I will when I'm next there next month. I'm not blaming her it was just a shock to see her again. I've spoke about her on here before about how I havent been able to get over her. Everything just seems so pointless.
  3. I havent gone in to work today as I'm too down to face it. I hardly slept last night thinking about her dating and flirting with other guys on the dating apps or instagram. I still feel sick and I'm not eating much. I know I have to move on but being helpless to the situation and what shes doing is making me so anxious and out of control
  4. I am really trying though. The thought of going to work tomorrow is horrible and I've just woken up feeling sick again about who shes speaking to. I'm just an average guy really but she was really good looking, friendly, intelligent and kind. I will go to my GP and try arrange counselling but I dont have any time left off for work so cant sort it out. I'm considering leaving my job and going back to my home town where I can do this in a month or so. But what do I do until then. This pain isn't going away and no matter what I do I cant stop thinking of her and what shes doing with others
  5. I do go on them occasionally but its more to talk to people and take my mind off of her as something will remind me of her or I'll have a dream about her. I just cant believe how shes been in another relationship for over 2 years since me and I'm still thinking about her.
  6. That's not what I said. All I was saying is that she had everything including a great personality which is why I feel so down
  7. I guess I felt I had nothing to lose as I'd already seen her on the app. Was hard seeing her face for the first time in 3 years. Trouble for me is a girl like her will have her pick of guys on these apps so it's no doubt that whoever's shes seeing is taller and better looking than me etc. Just feel lost and no motivation and lonely
  8. We broke up a gew years ago as I had to move away for studies but now I'm relatively close to where she is. The last time I spoke to her she had a new bf and I tried to blank her out of my life as I still had feelings for her. This was a while ago. Then when I was casually swiping through on a dating app I seen her and my heart sunk. She looked beautiful. I went on to her fb profile that I hadn't been on for over a couple of years and seen everything shes been doing in her life. I messaged her telling her how I felt and she told me she had moved on a while ago and that she is speaking to someone new which is probably from this app. I feel sick and cant eat or sleep. I can't help but wonder what shes getting up to with the new guy and think about them having intimacy. The pain is so bad. I dont know what to do to help my mind as it constantly thinks about these things. I'm so down
  9. I was scrolling through tinder tonight and there she was. My ex from 3 years ago. The girl I have been thinking about all of these years. I felt sick and still do. She lookked even more beautiful than I remembered. 'm in a low place right now. Shes trying to meet other guys. Sounds crazy but I was in some comfort knowing she had a boyfriend before as I thought that would be it. But now shes planning on dating and maybe sleeping around. I didnt think shed go on a dating app but there she is. All of this was all my fault for breaking up with her. I sent her a message on fb and she said shes talking to someone new. I'm so depressed
  10. Thanks for the replies, but how do you get over the fact that people treat better looking people more favourably and treat you like you're nothing. I was supposed to meet someone off of a dating app last night and I showed up to the place we were meeting only for her to not show up. Not even a message about not turning up. Nothing. Totally spiteful and rude. I'm sick of being treated bad by work colleagues also and just blatantly ignored by people and rejected by society. On the way home on public transport there were couples cuddling up to eachother and I was alone dealing with that bs. I'm still the same person I was 10 years ago when I was much more handsome and people would give me the time of day. At the minute I'm at my parents house for the weekend with my annoying dad who has never provided me with any advice or been a male role model of any sort. I'm only here as my only 2 good friends are off in other countries and I have nowhere else to go. No one wants to help and therapists just want your money. Nobody cares. Women always have a network around them and people will pander to them when you're down, as a guy noone does and you just have to suck it up
  11. In response to the question my hobbies are football, gym and that's about it at the minute as I feel too tired to do anything after work. I occasionally will see a friend from back home at the weekend but hes moving to the other side of the world in a few months, as did my other best friend a few months ago. I've looked in to signing up to courses in the evenings but nothing seems to appeal to me. I think the route cause of my depression is my job and the lack of relationships I have with women etc and my anxiety/ocd which affects my relationships with people on a large scale. I've also touched on my sexual issues as a result of a botched operation I had which sometimes gets me down. As you say, therapy might be another idea, I'll look in to it.
  12. I also have tried the dating apps but I dont really do too well out of it. I'm tired a lot of the time so doing things after work is difficult, aside from gym which I can manage a couple of times in the week.
  13. Hi. Thanks for the replies. I do try to be positive and I am a nice guy and always try to be at least. I guess I am quite depressed and maybe therapy would be a good idea. I also dont just go for really attractive girls. I worded that wrong really. I'd say I like cute girls not the stunning ones as I know I wouldnt get too far with them and we wouldnt be compatible. Even so I just dont seem to get far with them. I know people say you need to be confident but it's hard when people dont even want to talk to you and will make it blatantly obvious they're not interested even when I dont show any outward interest at all. Even when I try to put on a smile and be friendly people will act awkward around me or look away. Part of me is tempted to move away to another country but I'll most likely have these issues elsewhere. I'm just not a people person I guess. All I want is a decent relationship and to occasionally see friends outside of work and I'd be quite happy. I still think about my ex and what could have been. Sometimes it's hard to shake off and it can be paralyzing, albeit it has changed to a more dull ache over the years. Some might say I need to be on meds but I tried them before and they didn't make much difference so theres no point. I've also tried therapy but I dont feel that helps me a great deal, especially my social situation. A lot of the time I'll go home to my parents on the weekend and spend most of my time with them, which for a guy of my age is not ideal. Anyway. Thanks for reading. I'm just typing out my feelings really.
  14. Hi all I've posted on here before a few times over the last few years. During them periods I was hung up on an ex gf that I had to break up with as I was moving away for my studies. Crazy thing is despite that being almost 4 years ago I still think about her. I think that by not meeting anyone i have liked who has been attracted to me since has exacerbated the situation though. I'm currently working following a second spell at college. The job pays okay, but I dont overly enjoy it and it can be stressful as it's in healthcare. I sometimes think about leaving this job and taking up a similar position nearer to my family as it can be lonely sometimes in this new city, although once every so often I'll go out with some workmates for a drink etc. The main issue for me socially though is that I feel inferior to other guys my age as when I go out women pay them much more attention. I am losing my hair and when I look at photos from nights out I see my youth fading. Also, the girls in the group gravitate to the other guys and give me the cold shoulder. When I'm in the gym there are a few really attractive girls and I wish I could talk to them but once again they seem to avoid me and talk to the better looking guys. It sucks so bad. I've already talked about my sexual issues which overwhelms me from time to time, as does my anxiety issues which always seems to affect my relationships if I find a girl i like. The last relationship also ended in part due to my anxiety getting the better of me until i pulled the trigger. Therefore it's as though theres a whole bunch of barriers that seems to stop me from finding a girl I like and having a good relationship with her. I've only ever experienced this sort of thing in short spells, but as I said as I get older and uglier my chances are getting fewer and farer between. I'm just so fed up of being teased for my balding and the guys who do it go home with the girls while I end up alone again. Life just sucks sometimes.
  15. I appreciate all your replies. I do feel a bit better as I've been helping someone renovate a house all week which kept me occupied. In my downtime like now though my mind drifts back to her. I still kick myself despite the circumstances I was under at the time. An attractive, caring, loyal girl who had goals and emotional intelligence and did not drink or smoke. Damn. I'm trying to meet other women through online dating and out and about. A lot of the ones I meet seem quite aloof however or play games, have a negative or shallow outlook or are just generally disinterested in me. I guess I just need to work on myself but I fear this will take years to fully get out of my system.
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