RedPencil

Tom, I had to ask you to close our email address and not contact me again because you are not good for me. Because you don't really want a family and kids. You were so damaged. You did not know how to show me love, you did not love me, you just repeated an abuse process that you inflicted on God knows how many other women. You have no idea what you did to me and how much it hurts not having you but I love myself enough to not let you in again. I hear from other people that you're doing ok. I decided not to talk about you to anyone we know. What's the point. I am trying to hide the fact that you were an abuser because I am scarred of being judged for choosing to be with you. You are such a skilful one, because everyone thinks you were formidable, intelligent, clever. If only they knew true you, I sometimes think. You were twisted and malicious but also at times it seemed like you had heart. So, what happened to you? What happened? I am so sorry for you. It is true, you will never be happy. At least I stand a chance, I keep trying. Life is so complicated. I miss being held in your arms. I miss inhaling your breath and smelling your skin yet I know you are already chasing another woman and seeking another narcissistic supply. You disgust me. It's best that you were as far away from me as possible.