My boyfriend of six months has had many, many exes from fairly serious relationships.
His last girlfriend, let's call her Justine, is two grades younger than us in school, and they were together for "two years" (in reality they broke up about six times, their longest relationship continuously being five months) before he cheated on her. He broke up with her after he cheated.
In one of the two month "breaks" him and justine took while they were dating, we developed romantic connections. I've had feelings towards him ever since, and he's admitted that while they were dating he had a crush on me and suppressed it. This is one statement that makes me worry - would he tell ME if he developed a crush on another girl? A month after he broke up with Justine, we started dating.
Because he's cheated twice in the past before we started dating (though with relationships with girls he said he never loved as much as he loved me), I worry about this kind of thing. I worry about him developing feelings for Justine, and something happening, in particular. Now I realize that I'm very insecure about his love for me (it fluctuates) and I feel threatened by certain girls, namely Justine.
Since we started school again in September, my jealousy over Justine has flared up. Everything he does for her, I want him to do for me.
For example:
1. He had forgotten her birthday this year (though at the time they weren't really talking much), and they were joking around and he said he'd bring her a gift if she gave him five dollars. He ended up putting cheeseits in an envelope and writing her a short note. I was stupidly jealous about this, and huffed around. Because of a disagreement from which he decided that we shouldn't exchange gifts for a while, I was hurt when I found out that he had done something nice fo rher, and wanted a gift too, even if it was just cheeseits in an envelope.
2. He lives long distance when he stays with his dad, and my phone bill doesn't charge for calls to him, whereas if he calls me its extremely expensive, so most of the time I have to call him. He rarely calls me except to call me back. So whenever I find out that he has called Justine to talk but not called me (especially if I try to call him while he's on the phone with her and realize they've been talking for half an hour) I get nauseatingly jealous. He says this only happens "once every two months, usually", and him and I talk every night, and thats why the charge doesn't matter with her.
3. Small things like this, mostly. Today, for example, he found out that she had been in the hospital for a small scale operation to remove her appendix. He called her and rode his bike to her house. I have been begging for him to call me or come see me (we haven't had time alone in almost a month), and I felt hurt that she got to see him and talk to him while he was "home" (custody nightmare, he lives with his dad most of the time) and I didn't. I feel like a jerk because while I'm sympathetic for Justine's condition, I'm STILL jealous.
All in all, I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I see them together. If he walks her to class when he can't find me (a very rare occasion), I feel hurt and end up moping. He isn't the type of guy, usually, that is just friends with a girl - but this might just be how I feel. He says he doesn't even love her as a friend anymore, and barely cares about her, so I don't understand why he puts what I view as so much effort into maintaining their contact.
I hate being jealous, I need advice on how to quell these feelings and trust him, or at least how to deal with the feelings constructively.
