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ThoughtfulKate

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  1. I think I've mentioned in this thread that I know people personally that went through a difficult divorce. That being said, I don't care about getting married so long that the person I'm with loves me. I dont need the state to validate my feelings. In my state, you can't have a religious wedding ceremony (I'm Catholic) without being involved with the state. I'm a committed person, though committed to a bad one and will honestly say I have issues with this one. This post isn't meant to be funny.
  2. Hey Hollyj, I haven't done any counseling and quite honestly, too shy and scared to. I haven't quite figured it out but if I could guess, it's probably my upbringing, I'm the "pleaser" trying to please everyone to accept me. I'm not ugly and really take care of my appearance and career but perhaps my confidence is just shot? I was alone today and quite frankly it was pretty nice. Not sure when that'll happen Hollyj. I can't seem to pull the plunge.
  3. MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) - "...cautioning men against serious romantic relationships with women, especially marriage." I can't blame men for being extra cautious and avoiding marriage. I know a handful of men who have lost everything while they go through a divorce. The loss is just too great and sadly the government sees women as victims and will side with them the majority of the time. I have family and friends who have gone through this to understand. Me? I like being financially independent and don't want to get married for this very reason. I don't need the government to validate my love for someone and would hate everything crumble away if things go bad. Just me being extra cautious I guess haha. My bf follows MGTOW and you might be asking how does it work? Well, it sort of doesn't. MGTOW isn't all about being financially cautious but emotionally cautious as well. For example, he dismisses my feelings and takes me for granted but as another poster has said before, "you can only handle so much." I guess it's an open topic to all, what do you think of this movement? Ladies, how are you coping with this? Just curious, I'd like to know!
  4. "I assure you one day if nothing changes you will let go. There’s only so much you will take" Thank you! Hope you spend time with family and friends. They will truly help with our crazy minds and emotions [emoji4]
  5. Hey Austino96, Merry Christmas. I'm actually going to a similar situation. Although, a situation similar to your exgf's shoes. My bf has put me into some extreme emotional abuse and has dismissed my feelings towards him. He's one of those MGTOW sort of guys. I have yet to learn how to let go and I'm not sure how or if I can even do it. My brain says to let go yet my heart says to stay and work it out. I will let time handle this for me and I say this to you as well. I'm happy that you're learning from this. It's an extreme eye opener. My bf and I arent talking to each other and our 3 year anniversary is tomorrow as we well. That being said, we both have a whirlwind of emotions to handle tomorrow. I wish you the best of luck for New Years.
  6. I'm not going to lie... I texted him and called him a few times. He picked up once to tell me he was already sleeping. The following day I called but he didn't answer. Been crying for the past few days but I have to suck it up now. I took a long shower and I sent him a departing text and vowed not to bother him again. Thank you everyone who responded. I've read each and one of your inputs. Let the healing begin...[emoji111]
  7. Guilt - Yes, he's got me there. My self-esteem is pretty much shot and that alone is something I have to work on. Thank you for your insight. I've been blindsided and have always thought that "everything will work out." Guess I'll try keep myself busy for now.
  8. Thanks RedDress... love the walking on eggshells analogy. You put a nail on it. Thank you for the realization.
  9. It's hard to let go. I love him. You are right though, I need to have some respect for myself.
  10. Hi everyone, 25(F) dating a 31(M). We have been seeing each other for 2.5 years. Been through some up and downs, majority fine and dandy but I believe he's finally given me an ultimatum. I believe he has anger issues. When something goes wrong he will start yelling, throw things, call himself stupid, or depending if things are my fault he will say something that will hurt my feelings. He ends up calming down and we start talking as if nothing happened hours or a day later. This weekend we were going to Southern California for an event. We packed up our bags and loaded the truck. We were ready ready to go but then the truck wouldn't start. Being that the truck is merely only 3 years old, he became frustrated and yelled again (basically at the truck.) We then unloaded and took my Jeep instead. We arrived to SoCal and for the first two days everything was fine and dandy as it should be. Our hotel had an amazing view, we walked around, enjoyed the event, he had a chance to ride new motorcycles, had dinner, and enjoyed a bunch of other things. On the last day he woke up with severe knee pain. He again became frustrated, didn't yell but had an irritating tone to his voice. I then became irritated (because he was irritated, dumb I know) and honestly we didn't talk for the rest of the day. I followed him around, he got to ride another motorcycle, and unfortunately he said that he almost dropped the bike and twisted his knee again. That's when all hell broke loose. We were walking back to the car he said, "Today was awful. Why did you come? You're in a bad mood. You want your emotional talk then here it is. I almost dropped the bike and hurt my knee even more!!!" I then said, "I was in a bad mood because you're in a bad mood and found that if I were to be quiet everything will just pass. Thanksgiving is in a few days. I don't want you to leave or to stop talking to me." To his reply, "GOOD. GOOD." I started the car and put my sunglasses on so that he wouldn't see me crying. After a few hours we needed to stop and get gas. He turned on his GPS and I followed. I missed a turn and he yelled, "It's not telling you to go there. You're so INCOMPETANT." I said I was sorry and he began saying, "YOU'RE WRONG. WRONG. WRONG." We got to his house. I got out of my car and he looked at me and said, "Is there anything you need at my house?" To which I responded, "Yes, just the pillow you gave me for my birthday." I proceeded to his room, removed the pillow, and stood there. He then said, "What?!" as he started putting away his things. I said, "I just want to say bye." His response? "BYE. GOODBYE." I held my tears until I got in my car and left. The following day I texted him saying that I was sorry for the way I acted and that if he gave me a chance I would control my emotions. I called him a few hours later but led to his voicemail. Sorry for the long post but I wanted to be somewhat thorough. So my questions are... (1) Is his goodbye really a goodbye? (2) How long should I wait to hear from him? How long is too long and consider that he basically broke up with me? (3) Did he just break up with me? With holidays around the corner, it makes me feel lonely. I had plans to cook dinner at his place for Thanksgiving but I guess that's changed now. Just fyi... the longest he's been in NC with me in the past is 2.5 weeks.
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