belljar02
-
Posts
11 -
Joined
belljar02's Achievements
-
I agree with both of you in a way. I really didn't like it when he said "call me". It did sort of dump the responsibilty in my lap, especially since we are on shakey ground anyway I didn't know what to think about it. I felt set up. It did make me feel like a man, and that it was not my role since I am not a man. Because we had been having some problems, it was sort of a test. But he has failed. That was last Friday, now it is almost Thursday. He has not called. I am hurt because if he cared he would. I walked the street tonight just hanging out in stores. I can't believe that this is the same person that was all into me two weeks ago. So I guess he is not interested anymore.
-
I have been recently dating a guy that has been married for over ten years and he has none of that training. I totally agree with you on it b/c I just ended an 8 yr marriage and my ex is a much more refined person than he was 8 years ago. But this guy's apartment is filthy and he can't dress worth anything.
-
You are sooooo right! Believe it or not he is 36 years old. To answer your questions. Yes his cell phone rings all of the time, he only takes it if it is Chloe or Sarah, his two best friends. There are also two that are lesbians. I have met them both, there is nothing going on but it irritates me that when Sarah comes to town (she lives in another state), he has to have alone time with her. But back to the cell phone, it is really distracting even though he doesn't answer it. Once I was talking to him on his cell and his regular home phone was ringing like crazy...it was 3am. Dates are not interrupted but after we have dinner or whatever we will always have to meet one of these friends or do something in a group with them. One of the friends hates me and is never friendly to me. I asked him why he does not have male friends and he says that he does not like to. He does not have ONE male friend. I find this strange. Also most people, especially other men mistake him for being gay. Even I did. But he is not and hates it when people think he is. He is divorced after 11 years of marriage. I have not had sex with him yet but I did fool around with him and he doesn't seem gay in that dept. He says that he has not had sex in two years... I also felt like, he was seeing me in scheduled blocks of time. Our big argument actually occurred when I insisted on seeing him impromptu. We yelled and he got up and said "i have stuff to do" and left after 10 minutes as if he had to get back to something. I do feel out of place, but I liked his company. We are not currently speaking for 5 days now (see my post in "breaking Up" forum for that story. I am glad that I found this website (not alone). I have gotten some really good advice and it is helping me cope with this.
-
My guy has ALL women friends and it drives me insane. I am pretty, but so are they. They are platonic. But it is also messy when we fight because he tells them everything. It is also hard to be alone with him becaus ethey are always calling his cell phone.
-
19 years old is tooooo young for you to get caught up in something like this. Plus who knows hgow his wife will react when or if she finds out. She may come after you or write to your college or parents (had it happen to a friend once. The wife wrote her sorority sisters). You're in college, there has to be some cute guys out there somewhere.
-
I usually give any guy a first date, ugly, fat, handsome whatever. He has to be pretty gross for me not to.. I guess I am flattered that they are interested in me.
-
I do think that the relationship will be a series of games. He was ditched by his ex-wife and has even admitted to me that he caught himself being mean to me for no reason. He also has a pattern of dating someone for a couple of months a then finding something wrong with the relationship. I am the third GF since his wife left. His 4 bedroom apartment is still empty b/c she took the furniture. This was two years ago that she left. In fact he and I were okay until I spent the day at his place once and said "Maybe you should move into a smaller place, so it can be yours and not yours and Gina's" He asked me to move in w/ him but I said "I will only do it, if you get a diffrent place. I will not live in another woman's house" I am just realizing that after that day Nov 2 (election day), that was when he began being weird. Then we met for a movie on the 3rd and he was soooo distant. Then we argued on the phone Thursday just because I said "you seemed distant the other night". He accused me of being too critical and abruptly said lets have lunch at your job Friday. I said "Okay. He came we had a good lunch and he said "let's have dinner tonight and dancing". So we did that, He was really into me that night...then Staurday...Sunday no call. I called him and asked if I could pop by the librray where he was studying, he said "no" but I coaxed him into meeting me for coffee. We fought, the rest is in my first post. I don't know what I did wrong.
-
Thanks. Your post explains exactly how I feel. It has been almost five days since Saturday. My self-esteem has been low as a result of this. About calling him back. I erased his cell phone number/ email address from everything so it's do or die for him. If he wants me, he knows where to find me. I did get a mysterious hang up call on my cell today ...wonder who that was? Anyway. I HATE THE CALLING GAME. The longest we went w/o talk was our last "calling war" and it lasted 5 days, then he called me. I don't like this because it makes me feel unwanted. He is always on his cell, so I know that he has to be conscious of the fact that he has not spoken to me. Yes, I could have called him that Saturday and arranged to meet for lunch but 1) why couldn't we have just made the date right there Friday night. 2) He bothered me by saying "Call me". he was also w/ his friends (all female by the way which is another problem) and sounded as though he as trying to be cool. I felt like a door mat that was being summoned "call, me" or I will only see you if you call me. So I called his bluff and I didn't call and he didn't care, so I feel bad but I think I stood up for myself. I usually don't. So if he never calls, at least I walk away with the peace of mind that I in some way put an end to it.
-
I see your point but in many ways it was a TEST. That was what...Saturday. Today is Tuesday. I have yet to hear from him. A week ago he said that meeting me was like Christmas and the lottery all rolled into one. Friday Nov 4th, we had a GREAT date!!! Then I had to call him Sunday night and he was grouchy. That was when we had the big fight in public. But this is the pattern that he established. We will have a great time then no phone call. So trust is an issue. Yet he is always saying to me that he is afraid that I will hurt him.
-
I know, I should have called him. I was afraid that he was setting me up to cancel the lunch date when I called to meet him (he has done this before). There is a lot of game playing that goes on between us and I hate relationships like that and I don't know exactly what causes it to happen. His ex-wife of ten years, dumped him 2 years ago and it was very traumatic for him, he is still in therapy for it. In fact I would have been his first sexual encounter in 2 years. I feel like he pushes me away and I don't want to get hurt either so when I get mixed signals...I pull back. So I didn't call...but neither has he. In my defense...He has done this to me before. Said he would call and did not, but he would within a few days or so.
-
Hello I am new to this forum. I have a question. I have been seeing this person for about three months and it started going downhill about two weeks ago. We had a few arguments and one inparticular where he made a public scene that we never recovered from. We were both embarrased that we behaved that way. The next day he called me and we talked for an hour, but not about the incident. Everything was fine we laughed etc. Then the next day I called him and we spoke for maybe 20 minutes, he said he would call the next day but did not. Then I went to Japan for a 2 day lecture. He did not call me while I was there, but when I arrived home at the airport, I noticed that he left a voicemail for me asking if I did okay in Japan. I called him back to tell him thank you for asking and we talked for 3 minutes and got cut off. After my taxi ride home. I called him back and he was out with friends. He seemed distant and kind of sarcastic at times when I said I'll call you later then. He said "Don't be silly if you were bothering me I'd tell you". I got silent cause I thought his comment was rude. He then said "maybe we can get together tomorrow" and said call me tomorrow and we can have lunch.he repeated this twice. I said "okay". But I never called him on Saturday. I guess was just afraid to...I just felt like if he really wanted to have lunch with me he'd call. Today is Tuesdayand no call from him. If this is over, do I at least get to say I saved face by deciding not to call him? It is obvious that he doesn't care becuase he usually always call me on Monday nights after work. I guess I am angry becuase he could at least call or e-mail and say something. Help.