Sarita

I don't know....I seem to see holes in your theory of biology. My sister's in Master's school in biology, and she says that biology encourages women to have multiple partners, because (as one poster already said) it can take more than one bout of sexual activity to produce a viable pregnancy, and multiple partners ensures that the most virile and biologically-sound sperm are the "victors", so to speak. Since there is so much sacrifice for a woman in a pregnancy, it is important to ensure the best partner possible. Also, I don't think this thread was originally about the biological differences between men and women. It was about the double-standard of values and labelling in society. Whatever one's personal views on the fragility and innocence of women, if chastity is to be seen as a virtue in society, it should be applied equally. A woman should not be castigated for exploring many sexual partners any more than a man. What they do is equal in nature and gravity - it is personal choice on both parts. If a man and a woman choose to have casual sex, to at the end label the woman a prostitute and the man a hero for the same act.....that, in my mind, is more abhorrent than the choice itself.

I have a question: so if women are biologically programmed not to sleep around without losing their femininity, and are more sensitive and become emotionally attached and only have sex in meaningful relationships, and men are free to sleep around.............who are they sleeping WITH? All these delicate, emotionally attached women? And if the women they are having casual sex with have lost their appealing femininity and thus are less attractive.....why are the guys sleeping with them?

My current boyfriend and I were ten months into our relationship before we had sex. It's not so very uncommon. I'd say just find a time that seems right, maybe after you've been "playing around" for a while and sex is on both of your minds, and ask her if she's ready and wants it. Even if she's not quite ready at first, eventually there will come a time when you both want it. And it lets her know that you're ready to take it to the next level. And also? Speaking from experience, since it's the resolution of TEN MONTHS of sexual tension..........it is absolutely bloody AMAZING.

Hi. I feel kind of awkward asking this, but benefits outweigh the shyness. My boyfriend of nine months has been away at school overseas for the past two months and is returning on July 3. He wants to spend the day with me so we can "catch up"...in more ways than one. We're both fairly young (18 and 19) and have both decided that we don't want full sex until we're older and more sure of ourselves and our plans. However, neither of us are at all opposed to "playing around"....oral sex, touching, anything. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions to spice things up a little. I'm somewhat adventurous and willing to try new things, so any ideas would be more than welcome.

Hello all, I am brand-spanking new to this forum but have been reading the posts and you seem to give good and productive advice. I require assistance with an issue that is plaguing me and believe that your dispassionate opinions could be invaluable. I am a seventeen-year-old girl in my first year of music studies. One of my classmates and I have become very close over the last few months. It began as a beautiful and supportive friendship but has gradually grown into something more. Problem? He's 26, nine years older than me. The issue of maturity is one that is raised often in this forum. While I do not claim to be fully mature (I am still very, very young) I do not believe that I am at the same stage in my life as many seventeen-year-old girls. For one thing, I graduated from high school a year early and am living independently. For another, there are circumstances in my past (sexual abuse) that caused me to grow up very fast at a very early age. I realize that I still have a lot of emotional growth ahead of me, but I believe in the difficult transition between adolescence and adulthood, I am closer to adulthood. Also because of my emotional baggage, it has been very hard for me to learn to trust. I have struggled with low self-esteem and poor self-image my entire life, viewing myself as damaged and undesirable. This man makes me feel strong and beautiful. He makes me trust him. He makes me feel special and whole. I am truly happy with him. We have made no attempt to hide this attachment. So far, friends have been cautiously supportive. They tell me to be careful, but they also see that I am happy and gaining confidence and so support the relationship. The only major dissent has been from my older sister. While she has not forbidden me from seeing him, she has made it quite clear that she thinks this is a bad idea and I will only end up hurt again. I love my sister dearly and cannot easily discount her opinion. What are your takes on this situation? Should I give this relationship a try, or am I just setting myself up for more pain?