I am with my boyfriend for almost one year, but we experience problems because of my jealous mind. For me, every interaction with someone of the opposite sex could be considered as flirting or cheating in some way. I find myself overreacting and overthinking a lot. The result is that I question my boyfriend almost everyday about what he is doing, who he is with, if he is lying, etc. This 'interrogation' has been going on since about 2 months into the relationship. My boyfriend has been explaining and answering over and over again the same questions, but I can feel he's had enough. I make him promise a lot of things and remember almost everything he says. I compare all the promises and words to find out if he can be trusted and if he would be interested in someone else.
Yesterday, I was again questionning him and found out a lie. There is a girl in his friends list, with whom he had to work in the summer. They've been friends on facebook for over 2 years, so they became facebook friends long before our relationship. I asked him a couple months ago if he added her or if she added him. He said me it was she that sent the request. Now yesterday, like always, this is one of the things that comes up in my mind and I start to question. I found out it was he that added her, so basically he lied a couple months ago. He said me that he lied for two reasons. One, because he didn't want to make me jealous, think or sad again, because it was just a friend request before our relationship and nothing ever happened between them. Two, because he didn't want drama again.
He also told me that during our relationship, there have been women sending him friend requests, and he accepted only if he knew them. He has been sending two or three himself. He never likes pictures or chats with them.
I would like some advice on a couple things.
Firstly, do you think I am overreacting about the 'facebook friend thing' and that he lied about it? Is it acceptable to lie?
Secondly, what can I do to be less jealous and trust my boyfriend more?
Lastly I would like to ask two more general questions. Since I have a jealous and overthinking mind, I find it hard to trust my own thoughts, if I am being reasonable or not.
I would like to know: What do you consider as flirting? What do you consider as cheating?
Thank you a lot for reading and advice.